Ghost of a flea

Love Angel Music Baby

Writing for the Seattle Times, Patrick MacDonald reviews Gwen Stefani's live show without troubling himself to think about it terribly carefully. First, and hopefully for the last time, Stefani's Harajuku Girl attendants are meant to be an expression of her dreamlife. This is what some would call "Art". You may not think it is all that interesting but it would be worth noting rather than simply to cite unspecified critics in "the Asian community". Second, pointing out Stefani's frequent costume changes is hardly a point of criticism for a performer whose flamboyant public persona is explictly tied to her ostensibly outrageous, though quite fetching, sartorial expression. Third and finally, anyone who thinks Stefani's supposed lack of dance ability has any relationship to her lithe, porcelain... legs... uhh... sorry, lost the plot there.

Action update: Rika Ookubo, who is the genuine article apparently, finds Stefani's antics "amusing and distasteful". That is what we call the attractive metallic-pink pot calling the comely kettle metallic-pink.

Style by Kravitz

Learning that celebrity fashion lines are "one of the biggest trends at the moment" has only spurred my intention to produce Flea-branded cufflinks, hatbands and watch-fobs. Lenny Kravitz, take note!

Tiesto: Love comes again

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance (QT file).

Choco! Party! Good! Good!

The Flea's radical reportage on Object Lessons in Objectification™ continues with reference to an ad whose subtleties render me inexplicably fascinated with the subject of Choco Party products. Whatever they might be. Vote Flea for Best Culture Blog, btw (hat tip to A Former Servant of Her Majesty).

The Kingdom of Loathing

Blame Varenius for introducing me to my new obsession: The Kingdom of Loathing. Just keep an eye out for the cans of asparagus. Those things will cut you up.

Dramatic update: Having just found the Tolkien reference at the Typical Tavern, I am once again overwhelmed by the genius of the writing.

20 cult films you should have seen, Part Deux

Moving on from a first instance of stealing from and ripping off Protein Wisdom, the Flea proudly presents another twenty cult films you should should have seen.

The Great Dictator... for Tomanian flying lessons.
The Lair of the White Worm... for the red-tipped pen.
Wicked City... for the love theme.
The Thing from Another World!... for the walking carrot.
The Thing... for the biohorror.
The Thousand Eyes of Dr. Mabuse... for the master of disguise.
Forbidden Planet... for Prospero.
Scarlet Diva... for the femme fatale.
Secret Agent... for the skiing.
Gummo... for the electrical tape.
The Wicker Man... for Willow's Song.
Liquid Sky... for aliens, heroin and orgasms.
Mondo New York... for Deen and the Weenies.
Quatermass and the Pit... for Hob's End.
Without You I'm Nothing... for the pasties.
Electric Dragon 80000V... for the voltage.
The Addiction... for the dissertation party.
The Warriors... for the boppers.
Runaway... for the cyberpunk completists.
Battle Royale... my high school life.

Silver-screen update: The Pirate King thoughtfully offers twenty more films for your consideration.

Morningwood: Nth Degree

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance. With a gentle reminder to Flea-readers: I would appreciate your support for Best Culture Blog (and Best Blog, what the heck) with a quick vote once a day, every day this week... keep me dancing!

Seat 29E

Continental Airlines would be well advised to remove some seating.

LynxJet

The Flea's hard-hitting documentary series, Object Lessons in Objectification™ continues with this latest Lynx ad (that's Axe to North American Flea-readers).

Vampire in Balenciaga

New Line Cinema is offering at auction yet more Danica Taltos wear from Blade Trinity. No word on whether they will ever cut to the chase and auction Parker Posey.

Update: I cannot believe bidding is stalled at twenty-five dollars from yesterday. That is a Belenciaga skirt, people! As worn by Parker Posey!

Shaken and stirred

Part travelogue, part instruction manual, part bar philosophy, part discursive history, Mondo Cocktail: A Shaken and Stirred History fits into a larger genre than your average bartending book. It is a whimsical examination of the drinks that have captured our imagination and have symbolically identified us.

With the television, radio and print media blitz for "Mondo Cocktail" it is difficult to think of original interview questions for noted Toronto foodie and cocktail expert, Christine Sismondo. Better get these in before someone thinks of them on her forthcoming American book tour for Mondo Cocktail, "a shaken and stirred history".

Mondo Cocktail is available at fine retailers including Amazon.com. Ships in time for Xmas!

Coldplay: Talk

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

Biblana

You could get some work done or you could dig out that old Scalextric racing game from storage in your parents' basement. Or you could play Bilbana on-line and pretend to do both.

Paris Hilton's monkey confiscated

Once again I am at a loss to improve on a Female First tag-line. As enquiring Flea-readers will have already divined, Paris Hilton is now minus one monkey.

The Invincible and the Beautiful

Sure, you might like Tom Cruise. But Niki Yan really likes Tom Cruise. Time for a Flea-book about Kylie Minogue (via A Former Servant of Her Majesty).

X Minus One

RadioLovers hosts old time radio shows... perfect for curling up with a brandy and a loved one on a winter's night. Best of all is Flea-fav '50s science fiction classic, X Minus One.

Vote Flea!

Shouldn't you be living the Flea lifestyle? Find out how: every day at Ghost of a flea! Vote Flea for Best Blog and especially Best Culture Blog.

Wagon Christ: Shadows

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

What blog through yonder window breaks?

Ardolino wonders if he has a shot with Angie Harmon.

Chocolate covered bacon

A beginning is a very delicate time. Know then that the year is 2005. In this time, the two most precious substances in the known universe are chocolate and bacon. The chocolate extends life. The bacon expands consciousness. Oh, yes. I forgot to tell you. Chocolate and bacon exist on only one planet in the known universe. Hidden away within the rocks of this plaent are a people who have long held a prophecy that a man would come, a messiah, who would lead them to chocolate covered bacon.

Hell hath no fury, etc.

The September 2005 issue of Vanity Fair was the magazine's top-selling edition, like, evar. Thanks Jennifer Aniston's break up with Brad Pitt and Brad's callous (if perfectly understandable) macking on Angelina Jolie in public! GQ was probably also doing quite well with Aniston's "Woman of the Year" side-boob cover. But more about Angelina Jolie. She is so hot.

A lost world

Photographs of Berlin in the 1930s by Roman Vishniac are now on display at the city's Jewish Museum.

An on-line sampling of images from A Vanished World, a collection of his works, includes "the only known photograph of the contemplation of the Cabala prior to the Holocaust". That would be the actual Kabbalah rather than the celebrity kind.

Smokin'

As INXS invade Toronto the National Post is squeezed in for an interview during J.D. Fortune's smoke break. So remember kids: smoking is bad. Yes, all those stories about smoking being sexy and a little dangerous may be true in this case but a long life, good health and adopting a finger wagging anti-smoker busy body persona more than make up for not being a rock god. Meanwhile, the cool kids can get J.D. Fortune to autograph their body parts at HMV, First Canadian Place at 12:15 pm today.

Update: Interviewed on Canada AM, INXS reveal Suzie McNeil sings "God's Top Ten", a duet with J.D. on the last track of the new album. Sweet!

Best Blog & Best Culture Blog

Voting continues in the 2005 Canadian Blog Awards. I would be especially grateful for votes in the Best Culture Blog category. The interface lets you vote once per day but make sure to click all your selections before hitting that "submit vote" button. Remember: you do not have to be Canadian to vote!

Cat Power: Cross Bones Style

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

My Fair Brady

Christopher Knight, best known for his portrayal of Peter Brady, and Flea-fav America's Top Model winner Adrianne Curry are to be wed. O frabjous day! And another season of My Fair Brady.

Quite corrupt enough

I would reveal my results on this corruptability test but I did not think the questions offered sufficiently corrupt alternative answers. That said, camping in Wales is quite dirty enough, thank you very much. Full marks for effort to Malmaison and especially Mal Oxford what with the corruption and the music and so forth.

The loneliest number since the number one

Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson: was the couple in trouble? They was! Pravda reports on the newlywedded couple no more.

I have never managed to square Simpson's apparent love for bouncing about the place with her repeated affirmation of pre-marital chastity. Perhaps in California cheesecake and virginity can be made to rhyme. Rumours, denials and salacious magazine covers aside (sample pictured above), mad props to Pravda for covering the real news; even if "kaput" has such a harsh Durmstrang Institute sound to it. Almost as bad as Madonna's explanation for the success of her marriage: Guy Ritchie is sufficiently evolved not to mind being her "trailer bitch".

2005 Canadian Blog Awards

The Flea has been nominated in the Best Blog and Best Culture Blog categories for the 2005 Canadian Blog Awards. Your vote would be much appreciated! Just take care to vote in all categories before submitting your votes as the interface seems to have indigestion otherwise.

Depeche Mode: A pain that I'm used to

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

Gothic content

As soon as prime-time bastian Coronation Street chose to admit goth's "preposterous trash-aristocratic excess" it could only be a matter of time before the same would be true for His Dark Majesty Bob. Now if only we can convince Wendy Mesley to wear black lipstick on "The National". Then my victory would be complete.

Snowball Warfare

Last night Toronto was blanketed by the powdery white stuff, i.e. "snow" and not the Toronto Film Festival kind either but the kind we Canadians have over a hundred words for due to its ubiquity, persistence and so forth. Perhaps winter will not be so bad after all.

London Mobilisation Centres

The London Mobilisation Centres were built between 1889 and 1903 as part of the London Defence Scheme; a network meant to provide the main line of defence for London. This map provides useful pointers for anyone wanting a poke around.

Secret Base

Alan Turnbull's Secret Base page offers clues for anyone curious about contemporary scenic military locales of the United Kingdom.

Blowing smoke

A lawsuit launched by Guy Bourdin in the wake of Madonna's "Hollywood" video made sense to me as a casual comparison showed what might charitably be described as an inspiration by the fashion photographer's oeuvre. It was with Bourdin's case in mind that I first considered Belgian songwriter, Salvatore Acquaviva's case against the Immaterial Girl for her 1998 "Frozen" single.

Indeed, not. My formal musical education being somewhat rudimentary I am at at loss to hear in these four bars the debt a Belgian court found in "Frozen" to Acquaviva's "up in smoke" ditty. Some sum of go away money seems inappropriate in this instance. Danegeld, Danes, and so forth but Belgians in this case which is arguably worse.

Disco D vs. Arnold Schwarzenegger

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

Ali G considers Welsh devolution

When you hear the word "Wales" you probably think of the fish with the biggest dick in the ocean. Well, obviously.

Google Snake

Why waste your time at the office when you can waste everyone's time at the office? This Google Snake game is just the ticket.

The Colorado Kid

Stephen King's The Colorado Kid, as reviewed by the Village Voice, is found lacking in angry telekinetic teenagers, zombie pets and homicidal motor vehicles.

Stargate SG-3000

Toronto not being Chicago, Louisville or San Francisco (or Bremen, for that matter) it is time for a Flea-pilgrimage to Six Flags Great America and the Stargate SG-3000 simulator ride. It sounds cheezetastic.

Seemed "fake", you say? This might have something to do with being a half-assed animated trailer splapped on to a creeking old Space Shuttle simulator or the small detail about Stargates not existing. But such is to quibble.

Galactica miniatures

Miniatures for a Colonial Viper and a Cylon Raider from the orginal Battlestar Galactica are to be offered for public auction for the first time.

What superheroes really do

Speaking from hard-won personal experience, I can assure you there is more to the superhero job than meets the eye.

Dudeology 101

This Dudeology test should alleviate any anxieties Flea-readers may be experiencing regarding their dude-like qualities. Though I do not know which is worse: claiming golf is a sport or the fact I remember Custer's Revenge.

The skill of lying, the art of deceit

A lunatic conspiracy theory should include Masons, Jews, Satanism, the CIA and the Illuminati. And The Wizard of Oz, of course. There is usually a gay panic element to this sort of thinking.

Splogging

Plagiarism Today considers splogging, yet another attempt to spoof search engines in pursuit of profit. I have been wondering if my RSS set up, a feature about which I know precious little, makes the Flea more or less vulnerable to having my writing harvested in this way. I recently found a site that was republishing my posts in toto thereby stealing my work (and my traffic). Time to collect lawyers, guns and money and go after the thieves.

Who goes there

A first proper look at David Tennant!* Doctor Who's little transformations are familiar to Pisceans everywhere; especially when things do not go quite according to plan (via Quotulatiousness).

*Much less troubling than his recent Harry Potter appearance.

Cab Calloway: Reefer Man

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

Sounds fine

FindSounds is a search engine that lets you, uhh, find sounds on "the internet". Phasers, for example.

Internet of Things

Now taking bets on when the whole shebang becomes self-aware.

Liquidity

Small "l" libertarian, Christopher J. Falvey argues concerns about technological advancement in law enforcement and the diminution of personal freedom are misplaced.

I think Falvey's point is basically sound: if we do not like a law we should change it rather than rely on inefficient law enforcement to shield us from its effects. This was, for example, my line of reasoning against the choice of many self-described conservatives who chose to break (or at the least bend) the law in violating court injunctions issued by the Gomery Commission. If Canada's laws on publication bans are too free-wheeling, I argued, we should consider changing the law rather than breaking it; particularly when a number of court proceedings and the right to a fair trial is at stake.

It seems to me the best riposte to my position, or Falvey's, is that we should have little confidence in the polity to either legislate wisely or to correct its mistakes having done so unwisely. There are all sorts of iniquitous and ill-advised laws on the books and, while I hesitate to go into detail, there have been some I chose to disregard as the expression of a public will too stupid to be relied upon to act as a guide (particularly when I was a teenager and therefore knew everything). And of course it could have been worse. Efficient law enforcement technologies might only be an expression of the law but this expression does you precious little good, and substantial harm, if the law is imposed by Kim Jong Il and the rest of the parliament of dictators yet to come. Something about a boot stamping on a human face forever comes to mind. Even in a sensibly representative place like Canada we manage to legislate all sorts of nonsense with mind-numbing regularity. Such is the virtue of America's founding political philosophy. Our southern neighbours remain a potential source of inspiration; blessed as they are with a Constitution whose aim is to prevent the mechanism of government. Those checks and balances remain liberty's best defense from the finger-waggers and morality-legislators of the left and the right let alone the machinations of dictators whose tenure is protracted by the light of a perverted science.

Absinthe-swilling dandy

Famed gadabout and expert in the arts typographical, Bill Ardolino offers an opinion on gentlemen's haberdashery and comportment by describing me, the Flea, as an "absinthe-swilling Canadian dandy". While Mr. Ardolino assured me by means of a private communication this was a superior appellation to "gin-soaked popinjay" I harbour two reservations. The first is that the latter description is a riff on commentary by no less a personage in men's fashion than the Right Honourable George Galloway, standing in awe as he does before noted raconteur Christopher Hitchens. Hitch is, of course, a Flea role-model and having come within a hair's breadth of sharing a gin or ten with the man last night (due to an enterprising member of the Flea's celebrity stalker brigade) I know whereof I speak in matters of popinjays and dandies. Second, and rather more important, is this "swilling" business. This conjures a mental impression of absinthe as mouth-rinse which, now that I reach the midpoint of my sentence, I rather suppose it is. So, well done there, Bill.

Hurra Torpedo: Total Eclipse of the Heart

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance along to some authentic industrial music for Jennifer's birthday. More Hurra Torpedo tour information here.

Panda Bounce

Because I am reasonably certain Flea-readers would like to bounce a panda on a trampoline.

Madonna is quite mad, apparently

I have been astonished at the media generated by Madonna in the run up to her new album release and have been increasingly curious why I care to repeat any of it. Yes, I think I could have put on a good show in her reported post-gig dance-off at Kabaret's Prophecy if only due to my maximalist sartorial decisions complementing the decor. But does even a nosey chap like myself need to know rock shrimp tempura and black cod was on the menu? As for the Cristal it is to shudder. Surely, Bollinger Special Cuvée would have been a better choice.

More worrying has been an inclination on the part of the press to repeat any old nonsense an aging pop singer chooses to impart. Writing for Rolling Stone, Neil Strauss describes Madonna as "a quick study". But not a quick wit, apparently. Take her view on the massacres of September 11, 2001, for example; the Post Chronicle carries a snippet Rolling Stone mysteriously chose not to excerpt on-line.

Now, this might seem like the most offensive bit of Madonna media you will read today. How wrong you would be. Rubbish Gays take her to task for her true fashion crime transgression: agreeing to play G-A-Y. Lunatic conspiracy theories are one thing but there are aesthetic lines that cannot be crossed while expecting to remain whole and sane (lots of foul language through that last but one link).

Knitting and movies

This comprehensive list of instances of knitting or crocheting in television and film should come in handy. Mad props to Angel Hair Yarn Co.!

Ruh-oh

A variety of Japanese neologisms respond to the changing circumstances of Japanese women in the workplace. Many would make useful loan-words into Canadian English. For example, perhaps the Japanese word experts could oblige with a word for "gangs of women who think they are specific Sex and the City characters".

Triwizarding

I imagine many Flea-readers are as excited as I am at the prospect of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I thought Prisoner of Azkaban was particularly well done and am hoping for more of the same. Distressing news, however, as The Onion reports on adult themes in this PG-13 Potter; perhaps an inevitable tilt in the series as Hermione and the rest are growing up. By the time they get to the witchcraft and wizardry undergraduate stage I expect to see them in street protests wearing Voldemort-chic T-shirts. "Hey hey! Ho ho! The Ministry of Magic 's got to go!", etc. and so forth.

Harry Potter and the Hogwarts Dance Team

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

The Case of Albus Dumbledore

Dumbledore and destiny meet in H.P. Lovecraft stylee (hmm, better add a spoiler warning to this one).

A Magical Fall

If you cannot wait for the Harry Potter premiere you can take a peek at Steven Dempsey's A Magical Fall in the meantime. It is a delightful retreat from all the unpleasantness into all the beauty.

Muggles of the world unite! You have nothing to lose but your sense of humour

Writing for the Guardian, Richard Adams offers a useful example of single-minded muggledom in this 2003 Harry Potter book review. The interesting thing about the series, see, is not a sense of wonder and adventure but the opportunity to untangle "the themes of specifically British class prejudice and social commentary that run through the books". Let's get the ball rolling with a smeer of racism by association, shall we?

One can only pity anyone stuck next to this chap at a dinner party. The deluded fellow is missing the hope and heroism central to these books; sentiments diametrically opposed to a habit of sneering at everyone and everything. Or perhaps he has got the point and it repels him as surely as a Patronus spell. But it is not only Guardianista champagne revolutionaries out to strangle the magic. Some poor souls think the books are a segue into teaching biology; "wizarding is a monogenic trait, with the wizard allele (W) recessive to the muggle allele (M)" and so forth. What a nasty shock that would be for a child expecting pointy hats and fun. Not that all dreams of reason produce monsters. For example, this Harry Potter theory of programming language shows a genuine enthusiasm for the books.

Hitting rock Beckham

There is a point when a man wonders to himself if he shouldn't be doing something useful with his life. Study molecular biology or work on a plan to address world poverty, perhaps. Read a book. Something. Anything. Gentlemen, that point arrives when you find yourself watching the dvd extras for The Real Beckhams. Though I was scandalized to watch Victoria disavow responsibility for David's sarong. I still think it was quite fashion forward.

Serge Gainsbourg and Brigitte Bardot: Comic Strip

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance. Possibly the hottest video ever made.

Kid Canyon's Cunning Stunt

My motorcycle managed an impressive 666.61 m before I crashed into a UFO. Best ignore the play on words.

Dodge SRT-10

Jeremy Clarkson takes the revised Dodge Viper for a spin. His comments on American safety warnings* summarize my feelings of pride and affection for my UK passport. Though the "internal combustion with a hint of spontaneous combustion" might render the safety stickers sensible in context.

*Canadian warnings are equally dire.

Just don't let the side down

Aspiring citizens of the UK will be confused by new culture-themed test questions they must address on their way through the immigration process. It only shows what your average British citizenship mandarin knows about Englishness. Not much, that's what much. The correct answer is, of course, "prepare for a fight in the car park".

Monty Python, perhaps, but the English exam remains quite strict by regional standards. Scots citizenship is simpler yet as they skip the parking lot and have at it in situ. In Ireland they don't even wait for the spilled pint. Better to bypass written exams, spill a pint on prospective immigrants and observe their reaction.

Gorillaz live

Channel 4 reports on Gorillaz live in Manchester. A neat trick for an existential pop-act.

Bananarama: Look on the floor

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

Paris Hilton attacked by monkeys

I could not improve on the tagline for this Paris Hilton news.

And on the sixth day God created idiots

Channel 4 jokingly describes the Creation Museum as "heresy to science" (video link in the top right).

Just as important: stupidity is heretical to an authentic Christianity. It is difficult to list the extraordinary, babyish nonsense these people claim to believe. Nonsense that finds no support whatsoever in Scripture and quite the opposite of "upholding the authority of the Bible". As a Presbyterian minister interviewed for the piece puts it: the Bible says God is a rock. This does not mean God is made of granite.

T-Rot

That's right, South Korean Ministry of Science and Technology. It's all cocktails and handshakes now but next week - or possibly sooner - it's a metallic foot stomping on a human skull.

Murata Boy isn't such a hot idea either.

In a great big circle

I understand Toronto's Metro News is not written by or for the average rocket surgeon but one would hope Grade 10 math might suffice where Kate Bush's use of metaphor has apparently failed.

All the numbers that make up "pi" might take a bit longer than the average pop song. Meanwhile, the blogosphere is on the case with a pedantic lyric fisking. Take it away, Confusability!

Pi

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

Meet the World

Icaro Doria interprets some flags of the world.

Car ads

In England a valiant Mini defends London from invading Martians. Much like English television. In France a Citroën is added to a creepy montage of scenes from Happy Days. Much like French television.

Wiesmann

Ladies and gentlemen: the Fleamobile. Right then. Now all I need is €40k for a slightly used Wiesmann. Though it is a sad day choosing a Bf109 over a Spitfire.

The Sword of Gondlebreath

I am alarmed at my deep feelings of empathy for Ace's Dungeon Master. I would have fully had an Arch-Lich show up as a Wandering Monster or something and it would have totally kicked their asses. But Ace is so wrong about the Fiend Folio. The Fiend Folio included Githyanki and Githyanki kick ass (via Bill).

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."

A Douglas Adams script lost to labour dispute limbo may be realized at last.

Demeter: Pleasure Island

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

Diva free for all

Sharon Osbourne offered terse comment on Madonna's recent appearance at the Europe Music Awards.

While this might seem a bit harsh it is best to remember Madonna's own disposition is not famed for its restraint. Madonna's catty commentary contra Elton John, for example, might explain his decision to ask Victoria Beckham to be his best man instead of the Immaterial One. Though this presents Elton with a serious problem: how to achieve greater camp than the Posh and Becks wedding?

The Warriors

Now that Rockstar Toronto has released The Warriors this list of gangs from the movie script should come in handy.

Synchronicity

I confess I have never watched The Wizard of Oz while listening to Dark Side of the Moon. Neither have I watched all six Star Wars films at the same time.

New York Underground

National Geographic pokes around under New York City.

Puffy

New Yorkers thrill with anticipation while Torontonians suffer in anguished silence as a Puffy AmiYumi float is set to appear in the Thanksgiving Day parade. I have yet to find maquettes of float features on "the internet" but Flea-readers can visit the Puffy AmiYumi website to get an idea of what NYC is in for.

Puffy AmiYumi: Joining a Fanclub

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance. All in good fun. Just don't ask me about the spray-foam.

Pyroclastic flow

Note to Japanese nature enthusiasts: if you spot this in real life it might be time to stop with the digital camera and start with the fleeing for your life.

Ariel Atom

Top Gear's Jeremy Clarkson reviews the Ariel Atom calling it "one of the most beautiful cars in the world". Quite fast, apparently.

The Tokyo 2005 motor show is also worth a look.

Gen-Ryu

I was watching Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children and, aside from being overwhelmed by the animation, was thinking they should really manufacture some anime-looking super-motorcycles. Yamaha obliges with the Gen-Ryu.

19th-century Japan

The Nagasaki University Library hosts high resolution images of life in 19th-century Japan.

If we break faith

Today we remember. Because fighting for peace is not a contradiction in terms. Because there are fates worse than death. Because those without swords can still die on them.

My young Apprentice

The Fonz is in the air and due to land directly on the shark with tonight's Star Wars themed episode of The Apprentice. Crass product placement and laughable anti-corporate bloviating are not enough for George Lucas. Not content with having raped my childhood with his odious re-releases and prequels, Lucas is now set to put the capstone on what had been a fun little reality show.

J'en ai marre!

Sure Theodore Dalrymple was the first to write cogently about French troubles in the banlieus and is one of the few to offer cogent comment on the Paris riots (or indeed, Lozells'). But has he linked to Alizée performing "J'en ai marre!" live?* No, has hasn't.

*Blood-pressure warning, risquée content and advertising.

7hatner

William Shatner reprises Seven. Brilliant. I live for the day an Orion slave girl pulls up in a delivery van at Flea Towers.

Airbus 380

There may be a point at which your model airplane is so big you need a pilot's license to operate it.

Tokyo Xbox360 Lounge

Toronto could surely use an Xbox360 Lounge.

Long Range Acoustic Device

The Seabourn Spirit used a Long Range Acoustic Device (LRAD) to repel pirates off the coast of Somalia. The technology may also prove effective with skateboarders or wandering saxophonists of the Annex.

Tarot Blocks

Futurecast™ Tarot Blocks combine the fun of Tarot with the convenience of blocks.

Umm, no.

Ozzy Osbourne: Mr. Crowley

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

Whale Meat Story

Clive Barker shares a story of wartime rations in his grandmother's kitchen. A whale of a tale, obviously. Not safe for lunch.

Cthulhu calling

Book-A-Minute condenses the narrative form of H.P. Lovecraft. It is a wood for the trees problem: correct in the detail but missing of the point. Lovecraft's magical realism is something that emerges from the fissures in his prose.

John Dee and the Necronomicon

Colin Low considers a gnostic continuum of ideas in John Dee, the Necronomicon and "the cleansing of the world".

The ontology of the Necronomicon

The most common question about the Necronomicon: is it real?

The Humidor NX

As soon as my ad revenue ramps up to sinecure levels I shall acquire the obvious casemod for Flea Towers.

Faithless: Tarantula

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

Corporate spyware

Think twice before running any Sony BMG cd on your computer lest you have to reformat your hard-drive to undo the damage. Supposedly a response to file-sharing of dubious legality, I can think of nothing better calculated to discourage people from using a legally acquired Sony BMG product. This is frankly outrageous.

Update, November 11: Sony suspends production of its rootkit hack as the inevitable wave of opportunistic trojans and class-action lawsuits appear in its wake.

Update, November 13: Microsoft is disabling its "rootkit" utility in response to the Sony BMG use of the feature. Good. The Electronic Frontier Foundation has published a list of cds with Sony BMG's tricky software for those wondering if their system has been infected and consequently might take part in a class-action lawsuit.

00000000

We have all seen the movies: American Minuteman missiles required an eight digit combination to activate. Will somebody please tell me this next bit is not true.

PhaSR

PhaSR, the first "man-portable, non-lethal deterrent weapon" takes us one step closer to the Covenant Beam Rifle.

Im nin'alu

Flattery is not always intended by the sincerest imitation. Alison Goldfrapp is the latest to dive into a diva bun fight instigated by long-time crumpet in a hurry, Madonna.

I must say I have never heard it described in quite those terms before. It would seem the Immaterial Girl has her own accusations of copying to make. Word has it Madonna is disgruntled with "net pirates" and is on a witch-hunt for the culprit who leaked her album to "the internet" in advance of its release date. In related news, the Flea is informed by an impeccable authority that the controversial tune "Isaac" turns out to include large sung quotations from an Hebrew traditional, Im nin'alu.* Furthermore, that it is gorgeous. Though I am not certain to whom Madonna has decided the appropriate royalties should be paid.

If the doors of the wealthy are locked, the doors of Heaven will never be locked.

*Possibly familiar to Flea-readers through its interpretation by stunning songstress Ofra Haza.

Goldfrapp: Train

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance. Not safe for work unless your job involves pasties.

Think of the antioxidants

Cocktail experts: what do you call a whisky and green tea combination? Aside from popular in China, that is.

Update: The Flea's Cocktail Expert informs me this does not sound like a cocktail but a mixed drink. I blog corrected!

Johann Hari unplugged

Johann Hari attempts the Franz Mayr intestinal cleansing approach to weight loss. Not to be confused with the Maria Callas approach (via the Daily Dish).

Remember, remember the fifth of November

Cambridge historian, Mark Nicholls compares today's terrorism, and government response, to that of the early seventeenth-century. Apples and oranges, really.

The final wyrd

An attention seeking Winnepeg folk-act owing an unacknowledged debt to Hamlet (or more likely Terry Pratchett) have had their laughable case against J.K. Rowling and Warner thrown out of court. So much for their quest for an injunction, 40-million dollars or a film credit. May they once again lapse into the obscurity they have earned.

Living in an immaterial world

Describing the West as "The Beast", Madonna's kabbalah has reportedly taken a gnostic turn.

Let us take a for instance. As a noted performer and reported spokes-celebrity for a new Kabbalah Energy Drink, Madonna has condemned Paris Hilton for damaging the credibility of kabbalah by treating it as a fad.

Ahem.

While it is not clear what Madonna makes of kabbalah's chances with Britney Spears and Victoria Beckham as enthusiasts, at least Gwen Stefani is not sitting still for Madonna's non-theological barbs.

INXS: Pretty Vegas

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

Fun with neurology

Check out the pink dots. Then follow the green dot...

XSS-11

Experimental Satellite System-11 performs "proximity operations" and demonstrates it can track, approach and observe other satellites. A first step toward an orbital battlespace...

The physics of extra-terrestrial civilizations

Michio Kaku is interviewed on the subject of extra-terrestrial life (and addresses the same issues here). He makes good reference to Nicolai Kardashev's typology.

Careful with that axe, Eugene

From the BBC archives: Recordings of Indeterminate Origin presents Pink Floyd, the John Peel sessions.

Sarah Brightman: Harem

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance. With a wiggle of the hips and a tip of the hat to Jeff!

Mouse Avoider 2

Because there is no reason I should go quietly mad on my own.

Supersize

A month of effort has gone into perfecting the package for Superman's new-look supertights. Upgraded Superman, Brandon Routh reportedly finds the result "empowering".

Update: In related news, an innovative criminal defense strategy (hat tip to Jeff).

Pu-erh Imperial

Momentarily dazzled at the thought of Victoria Beckham's £150,000 worth of costume jewellery, and her subsequent ascension to the throne of Essex, the Flea wonders where to acquire a supply of Pu-erh Imperial tea. All the Spanish A-list are drinking it as part of their slimming regimens, apparently. Not certain of the specific brand though Tokyo T is another hit with the mannequin set.

The Jane addiction

I cannot improve on the title so reproduce it in the tag-line instead. Peter Schilling considers the enduring appeal of Jane Austen.

Ladytron: Jet Age

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance (takes a moment to download).

Top ten

4Car features the top ten Bond cars, the top ten cars that time forgot and a variety of Fleamobiles in the top ten cars from tv.

I am Canadian

William Shatner reveals the secret, seething capacity for violence lurking in the heart of every Canadian.

Update: Um, folks, these are bumpers from Conan O'Brien. There are a few clues here that Shatner of joking... I despair for the all too earnest dispotion of most Canadians.

What's wrong with trial by axe?

A Scot wit has a go at English anger. He has a point about comedy being war by other means. But I draw the line at the manners and the awkwardness and the garden sheds.

Geek to Geek

Geek to Geek offers on-line dating for nerds. I notice no provision has yet been made for Canadian postal codes...

She ain't no hollaback girl

I think Madonna is joking with the Gwen Stefani comments. In related news, Abba petititions the EU for action under European unmitigated gall regulations.

Madonna: Hung Up

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance (and again on VH1).

1-888-2-Confess

Madonna's latest foray into viral marketing is a 1-888 confessions hotline number and an inevitable podcast of the confessions themselves. Also, a tagging project.

Fascinating news from Belgium

Madonna is interviewed for Belgian television. No worries about translation from the original Belgian as Madonna's Belgianese sounds Detroit via the West End.

Lurid confessions

Madonna is under fire for "Isaac", a tune on her new album. Many observers, including the Flea, assumed a reference to kabbalah super-genius Isaac Luria. It turns out the Isaac in question is Yemeni singer Yitzhak Sinwani. Though I doubt Madonna's rejoinder is likely to win over her kabbalistic critics.

Ferrari Enzo

Top Gear had trouble getting their hands on a Ferrari Enzo super-car as Ferrari quite sensibly refused to lend them one. And neither would anyone else. No one else that is until Pink Floyd drummer, Nick Mason decided to lend a hand, and his rather expensive automobile, in return for a little book publicity. Jeremy Clarkson obliged with an endorsement (BBC rules notwithstanding).

The Young Punx: Young and Beautiful

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

Celebrity sighting

The Flea is not normally one for star-struck commentary about supposed notables making their way to and from Yorkville hotel rooms. But I was delighted to run into Dave Thomas as I left Ryerson's bookstore. The great man even held the door for me, eh?

Black Helicopters

The Register posts its Google Earth "Spot the Black Helicopter" competition results. Amazing stuff. Loving this U2 in flight.

I/O Brush

How neat is this. Love the tune too.

The enemies of truth

Two years ago I was confronted by an undergraduate student who wanted to enter a course part way into the term. What readings and other assignments had she missed? What had been covered in lectures? I did my best to do justice to twelve hours of lecture material in the half hour remaining before my next class. Not to worry, offered the student, "it's all relative anyway". You see, the particular course content could not possibly stand for generations of scholarship struggling to make sense of the world. This poor soul had been taught the only important thing to know is that all knowledge is strictly contingent and reliance on any particular facts, or assertions that declare the superior rigour of a particular mode of analysis, is no longer necessary. Ignorance is a real time saver.

To argue for the truth, that is to say for the existence of the truth, in contemporary arts or social science departments is most often to be treated with sneering derision. There is precious little truth to be found; only an etiquette about all the opinions upon which we are meant to agree. We are meant to believe that only people lacking in the suburban knowingness which now passes for an education can be so naive as to believe in the truth. So much for the Enlightenment.