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April 30, 2005

Go ahead. Force me to make a choice.

Balloon Juice reports on overt proselytizing by evangelical instructors at the United States Air Force Academy. Can you imagine for a moment what the reaction would be if it had been reported this was islamist proselytizing? What in heaven's name is wrong with us that the evangelical version of absolute religious truth should be naturalized in this context? This sort of behaviour is why many of us who have supported the fight against fascist theocracies abroad are worried about its strident counterpart at home in the democratic West. Yes, there is a difference between Islamic fundamentalism and Christian fundamentalism: the latter have not achieved their aim of taking power. And it is only sensible to believe we should do everything in our power to prevent that from happening.

I do not know how many times I have been told by otherwise sensible people that gay marriage is unimportant and that I am wrong to be worried by the populism and the pandering that is the new face of conservatism in the United States and Canada. I am sick of being chastised for drawing attention to the would be theocrats among my fellow Christians when those doing the chastising so evidently believe their own freedoms are not at risk. But I suppose it seems a small thing to trade away someone else's liberty. They are wrong and they should know better.

Not that there is any surprise in citizens of Western democracies looking the other way when someone else's rights are at stake. After all, that is what we have all been doing in our trade with mainland China and our military support for the Saudis and every other compromise of someone else's freedom in the name of national sovereignty or convenience or utter indifference. When we discount the freedom of others it is all too easy to forget to safeguard our own. Look at photos of public life in Iran or Afghanistan before the mullahs came to power and understand there is nothing natural, nothing inevitable about the freedoms we enjoy here. They can be taken away. There are people whose religious ideology is such that they think of nothing but taking our freedoms away. Most Canadians, thank God, seem to share my concerns.

I am particularly dismayed by the people who want to pooh-pooh these groups, claiming they are just a fringe element that should be ignored. Many want us to believe that all of these groups are individual actors- even people like Jay, who can clearly recognize the political ties between George Soros, Media Matters, America Coming Together, etc., but wants to pretend there is not a coordinated effort to impose a specific brand of Christianity on everyone.

Andrew Sullivan is sometimes over the top in his rhetoric, but he has an excuse- he is homosexual. They are gunning for him, first. You and I are phase two. We ignore these folks and abandon Andrew at our own peril, and if we do not confront these people, you can kiss goodbye the coalition that has swept Republicans into power.

When faced with a choice of this loose-knit coalition of frauds, bigots, hucksters, and letting the 'evil' loony left in charge, well, suddenly MoveOn doesn't seem that damned scary anymore, particularly when you consider how marginalized the Cynthia McKinney crowd is. They may tax the hell out of me and leave us with an impotent foriegn policy, but I can count on them staying out of my bedroom, my science classes, my pharmacy, my marriage, and my Doctor's office.

Go ahead- force me to make a choice.

Update: A comment at Balloon Juice asks a question:

"If you are secure in your own beliefs why should it matter what someone else says about religion?"

I am utterly certain of my religious beliefs. My certainty arises from being born again, saved by Grace. I know what I believe is true. It is precisely because of the certainty of my convictions that I find it so offensive that government officials should attempt to impose their erroneous beliefs upon me. Christians used to be thrown to the lions to avoid just this fate. What on earth makes you believe it is appropriate for us to endorse such an imposition in a Western democracy?

Update: The snark has started for this post. All I can say is that if it isn't your marriage the government is planning to negate then you have nothing to say. If you are gay, a resident of one of the seven Canadian provinces (plus one territory) where you currently have the hard won right to marry and think the separate-but-equal apartheid solution on offer from the Conservatives is just dandy then I will be curious to hear from you. Otherwise, it is not your right to give away. Something I have learned from publishing the Flea is that there are people who will scream bloody murder if I deny them the "right" to leave a comment at my blog but who don't blink an eye at disordering the life and dignity of their fellow citizens. What on earth can I say to a display of such staggering self-absorption? It beggars description. Are some people empathically retarded? Or do they share a sneaking satisfaction to see lives turned upside down? I have more respect for the fundamentalists because they - at least in theory - are trying to save souls.* For the rest who think this is a joke because they might miss out on a tax cut... feel free to read something else. I can only pray people care more for your fate when it is your basic rights on the line. I will still be here to write in your defense but I will not forget where you stood when you had the choice to defend people weaker than yourself. Not only that, I am going to remember where you stood once, as it will, the Conservative party belatedly comes to its senses. There are going to be plenty of revisionist personal histories on offer come that day. But I will not forget. History both ancient and contemporary offers many examples of just such indifference so I cannot say I am surprised. Only disappointed.

*And the people who think the government should not claim the right to "marry" anybody. But how much can I work into one paragraph? After all, same-sex marriage is not even gay marriage. There are plenty of folks out there who are bi or do not base their identity on their sexual orientation or who have yet to figure out what they want. Heck, there are a large majority of folks who will never want to marry someone of the same sex or who may decide never to marry at all. Their choice as free adults is still to be taken away for no good reason at all. This is not an acceptable alternative to the criminal enterprise running our country. It is not a conservative alternative but a radical, factional position that seeks to impose itself at a moment when the country is weakened by corruption and resurgent separatism. We need better but I am beginning to fear we do not deserve better.

Update: Good question (via INDC Journal)

When ever anybody told me that schoolchildren should be led in prayer in the classroom, I would agree, and say the children should face Mecca and pray, but could the school system afford the cost of the prayer mats? Almost always got a reaction.
Posted by the Flea at 02:22 PM | Comments (15) | TrackBack (3)

Vogon poetry

I cannot believe I missed this Vogon poetry competition. My first attempts at creative writing were efforts to produce my own version of Vogon aesthetics. They continue to this very day.

Oh freddled gruntbuggly,Thy micturations are to me. As plurdled gabbleblotchits. On a lurgid bee. Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes. And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles, Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon. See if I don't.
Posted by the Flea at 07:41 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

I Love Paris in the Springtime

Sadly, Paris Hilton's ad for Carl's Jr. may never be aired. I am counting on "the internet" to step into the breach. Or in this case, breeches.

CKE Restaurants, which has a reputation for politically incorrect advertising, tapped the sexy socialite for a new Carl's Jr. TV spot. The problem, according to a source, is the spot is meeting with some resistance from network executives. "It couldn't be more pornographic," said the source. "It's about as racy as I've seen."

Set to the song "I Love Paris in the Springtime," the 30-second spot, via Mendelsohn/Zien in Los Angeles, shows Hilton washing a car "with hoses shooting everywhere and her soaping everything up," said the source. Touting the BBQ Six Dollar Burger, it plays off her catch phrase, "That's hot."
Posted by the Flea at 07:37 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)

That’s Hot

The latest rumour about the long awaited Paris Hilton debut album "Paris is Burning" is a collaboration with Le Tigre. Oh yes.

Known for their highly political and feminist stance, it wouldn’t be surprising if Le Tigre felt a backlash by working with the notoriously fun-loving hotel heiress. Then again, Hilton could just gain tons of cred for working with the musically respected rockers. Others who are reportedly contributing to Hilton’s debut album include the likes of The Black Eyed Peas, JC Chasez, and Lil John (on a track called uh, “That’s Hot”).
Posted by the Flea at 07:34 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (1)

Le Tigre: TKO

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

Posted by the Flea at 07:33 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Big Red Button

Do not press the big red button. Seriously.

Posted by the Flea at 07:32 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (1)

Debra Messing pole dancing

Pole dancing, all the rage apparently. Well, if pole dancing is good enough for Jude Law it is good enough for the Flea. One can only imagine if Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, Vanessa Paradis, Johnny Depp, Paris Hilton, 50 Cent, Pamela Anderson or Condoleezza Rice have included it alongside their spinning and pilate routines but I am pleased to pass on a report that Debra Messing has included pole dancing in her exercise regimen.

Will & Grace beauty Debra Messing is taking pole dancing and 'strippercise' lessons in a bid to tone her body up after becoming a mum.

I have yet to see Closer but I gather Natalie Portman had a keep-fit regimen of her own judging by her thong, lingerie and pole dancing ensemble. And not to forget that Kate Moss interpretive dance routine for White Stripes. I am not certain what to make of the tune but the video does bring a healthy blush to my cheeks.

Posted by the Flea at 07:31 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Missionary Impossible

The Sister of the Flea suggests "...this Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes thing is getting even scarier (or beardier)." Katie Holmes, 26, reportedly claims to be a virgin (not that there's anything wrong with that).

Normally, the idea that Cruise might have the opportunity to deflower America’s Onetime Sweetheart would send us stumbling into the street to thrust our head underneath the first convenient Hummer tire, begging its dead-eyed driver to finally deliver us four tons of sweet annihilation. But in a surprising moment of clarity, we realized that this notion is patently ridiculous: Pacey totally decommissioned Katie’s virgin-battleship on the fourth season of Dawson’s.

Rosie O'Donnell, formerly of FormerlyRosie, had this say.

my tommy has a new babe
katie holmes - who is a great actress
she did a movie with
patricia clarkson
i can’t remember the name
but she was amazing in it
he looks happy
and that makes me happy
Posted by the Flea at 07:29 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Mari Yaguchi

Mari Yaguchi is looking a bit woman on the verge after leaving all-girl pop group Morning Musume. One can only hope she left her friends in good hands under the new leadership of Hitomi Yoshizawa.

"As an idol and leader of Morning Musume, I was worried for a variety of reasons," Yaguchi said during an appearance in the TBS program "Utaban" on Thursday night. "But I finally decided to take responsibility."

Yaguchi added that she had talked with new Morning Musume leader Hitomi Yoshizawa after making her decision to quit. "I felt sorry for the group members. After talking (with Yoshizawa), however, I felt that the group would continue to work even though I quit," she said.
Posted by the Flea at 07:27 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

The Personal Property of Marlon Brando

Some of Marlon Brando's personal effects are to be auctioned by Christie's this summer.

"Brando was an extremely private and elusive individual," it said. Godfather author Mario Puzo's letter could fetch up to $1,200 (£627) "The sale offers an intimate insight into the lifestyle and career of a famed screen colossus."

Other lots include Brando's 1954 Oscar nomination certificate for On the Waterfront, the black velvet tunic he wore as Jor-El in Superman and Native American artefacts given to him by actor Val Kilmer.
Posted by the Flea at 07:24 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

April 29, 2005

Keitai culture

Features that are experimental in North American cell phones are mainstream in Japan. It is not just the specific gadgetry that is important, however, so much as its ubiquitousness (via the Neighbour of a Flea).

"Cell phones have created extensions of personal space in Japan," said Yuichi Kogure, who teaches a class on keitai culture at Tokyo's Toita Women's College. "You take your world with you when you have your keitai in your hand. In the keitai world, people forget where they are, and women [with cell phones], for instance, can be seen putting on makeup or brushing their hair in the subway, something considered highly rude in Japan in the past. But now, people are walled inside their own little world with their keitai and aren't even aware of what they're doing in public."
Posted by the Flea at 06:21 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

Keitai Deka

I cannot be the only person who would enjoy subtitled Japanese television programming. Once the web has smashed television into ten thousand narrowcasted channels I shall eat Teriyaki Nori roasted seaweed and watch Keitai Deka on my cellphone television.

American detectives need snitches, sidearms, and sports cars to catch bad guys. But the hottest private eye in Japan fights crime with her cell phone. The teen supersleuth is the protagonist of Keitai Deka (literally, "the cell phone detective"), a popular show on Japan's BS-i channel. Every Sunday night, she unravels mysteries with the help of her superpowered DoCoMo smartphone. Although Westerners might find the premise implausible, in Japan, where multitasking teens can thumbtext faster than you can type, it's practically a documentary.
Posted by the Flea at 06:20 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Another Japanese game show

The more wax you are covered with the more difficult it is to defend yourself with a small plastic umbrella. Just like life, really.

Posted by the Flea at 06:20 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Anakin Dynamite

Anakin Dynamite. Sweet. Just don't use those Jedi skillz in class.

An awkward apprentice struggles with older Jedis, school elections and idiots!
Posted by the Flea at 06:18 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Unbiblical, Weird

Pharyngula calls it irony overload. Though reading this makes me think I should have watched Revelations, I just wish I had thought to write the Left Behind series as I would now be blogging from a seaside mansion/compound in Mexico.

The authors of the best-selling "Left Behind" end-times thriller series call the new apocalyptic NBC mini series "unbiblical" and "weird." Jerry Jenkins, novelist of the "Left Behind" series, which has sold 62 million copies since its debut in 1995, said "Revelations" is "a mishmash of myth, silliness, and misrepresentations of Scripture."
Posted by the Flea at 06:17 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (1)

Body piercing saved my life

One of many "edgy" slogans for Extreme Christian Clothing.

Posted by the Flea at 06:16 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Tainted Love

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

Posted by the Flea at 06:14 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

Ask Captain Lim

How safe is flying today? And just which seats are best in the event of an emergency?

Posted by the Flea at 06:05 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Boeing Dreamliner

One assumes Airbus have done their math vis a vis passenger numbers and destination airports large enough to accomodate their new aircraft. Gods, what a monster...

Moments after emerging from the cockpit of the A380 after its successful first flight, chief test pilot Jacques Rosay said flying the world’s biggest passenger jet had been "like handling a bicycle."

But for all the hype about the maiden flight of the new double-decker Airbus A380 I am forced to ask how long it would take to board or disembark and what the wisdom is in producing something whose scale paints a giant terrorist bullseye on the side.

I think Air Canada's decision to go with the new long-range Boeing 7E7 Dreamliner is a sensible one. Flea-readers who share my corporate video fetish can find plenty of Dreamliner goodness at the Boeing site. "7E7 Dreamliner Approved for Offer to Airlines" is particularly satisfying both for the crap sound quality and peculiar "raise the roof" gesture the project leader has picked up from his teenage children.

Posted by the Flea at 06:04 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

April 28, 2005

Rock Star Kylie

KylieMotorcycle.jpg

Kylie Minogue is to headline the Glastonbury music festival as part of a reported transformation into a rock star. Expect irritated noises from humourless indie scenesters everywhere.

It's something of a coup for Minogue and her management team for her to line up at the three-day rock extravaganza, which is attended by 150,000 rock fans. She will appear with acts such as Coldplay, the White Stripes, Van Morrison and Elvis Costello.

Minogue has long expressed an interest in playing Glastonbury, an enthusiasm not matched by the festival's promoter, Michael Eavis, until now. Like her 1995 duet with Nick Cave, Glastonbury will add rock cred to her extensive CV.

And the Australian has some snark to offer... the cads!

Posted by the Flea at 10:25 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Night Watch

Night Watch looks promising (hat tip to Bill's comments).

From Russia, with horror, comes the stylish horror fantasy film that has revolutionized post-Soviet cinema: NIGHT WATCH (NOCHNOI DOZOR). The film brings to the fore the cutting-edge vision of director/writer Timur Bekmambetov (whom Russian director Nikita Mikhalkov called "our Tarantino") and is the first instalment of a trilogy based on the best-selling Russian sci-fi novels of Sergei Lukyanenko (which also include Day Watch and Dusk Watch).
Posted by the Flea at 10:20 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

German Post Office

German Post Office is an animated short using clips from the soundtracks of two German-language pornographic films found on "the internet". This should be work-safe unless your employer speaks German.

Posted by the Flea at 10:17 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Space Dude

My hand-eye coordination does not extend to jumping from platform to platform in space so I have to take the game's word for it but apparently there are ten levels of Space Dude so best not to play unless you have time to kill or are, in point of fact, the boss and can do as you please.

Posted by the Flea at 10:14 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Crazy Frog Axel F

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

Posted by the Flea at 10:12 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

80s Tees

Lots of temptation at an on-line 80s T-shirt store. I am pretty much going to have to buy this Wembley and Red Fraggle Rock T-shirt (via That Crazy Neighbor Lady).

You don't know how long i have been looking for the sanford and son shirt, and how happy i was to find it on your site. Once again thanks kevin, and to let you know that 80's tees ROCKS!!!!!!!!
Posted by the Flea at 10:11 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Red Fraggle - The Enthusiast

If I was a Fraggle I would be yearning for Red. Why does she not believe my postcards?

Red Fraggle is the kind of Fraggle someone watches and then says, "Now there's a really energetic Fraggle who knows where she's going and what she wants to do." And then, CRASH, Red runs right into a stalagmite. But that doesn't stop Red. It's certainly not her fault the stalagmite didn't know enough to move.
Posted by the Flea at 10:11 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Science vs. Norse mythology

Or rather "science" vs Norse Creation Science... remember you can't prove a negative! (via Chapel Perilous)

Posted by the Flea at 10:11 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (1)

Although I'm quite content with who I am and what I am...

"Following this is a list of different occupations. You must select at least five of them. You may add more if you like to your list before you pass it on (after you select five of the items as it was passed to you). Of the five you selected, you are to finish each phrase with what you would do as a member of that profession. Then pass it on to three other bloggers. OF COURSE you all without blogs are welcome to play along in comments!"

The complete list is in the extended entry. My choices:

If I could be a librarian I would be in the employ of the Balfour Library at my favourite museum in the world. I would take my lunch at the Bird and Baby.

If I could be a psychologist I would slide sideways into Lacanian clinical practice instead of using Lacan to write papers about Japanese horror movies.

If I could be a linguist I would design vampire languages for horror movies Japanese or otherwise.

If I could be an architect I would devote my life to building the Tyrrel Corporation pyramid in downtown Toronto.

If I could be a backup dancer I would have Kylie Minogue's number on speed-dial. Also, I would be ripped.

Bonachela, 31, discovered something Minogue’s legion of fans have always known: when it comes to shaking her booty, the 34-year-old is one hell of a mover and fit as a flea. "Hundreds of thousands of people saw my work," he says, unable to keep the note of disbelief out of his voice.

I tag Eric, John and Dean!

I was tagged by the delicious SondraK...

If I could be a scientist...
If I could be a farmer...
If I could be a musician...
If I could be a doctor...
If I could be a painter...
If I could be a gardener...
If I could be a missionary...
If I could be a chef...
If I could be an architect...
If I could be a linguist...
If I could be a psychologist...
If I could be a librarian...
If I could be an athlete...
If I could be a lawyer...
If I could be an innkeeper...
If I could be a professor...
If I could be a writer...
If I could be a backup dancer...
If I could be a llama-rider...
If I could be a bonnie pirate...
If I could be a midget stripper...
If I could be a proctologist...
IIf I could be a TV-Chat Show host...
If I could be an actor...
If I could be a judge...
If I could be a Jedi...

Posted by the Flea at 12:03 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (4)

April 27, 2005

Serenity sneak preview

Curse you, Seattle, Austin, Sacramento, Boston, Altanta, Chicago, San Francisco, Las Vegas, Denver and The Portland of Oregon! For Joss Whedon has a Serenity announcement to make to you:

The movie is very nearly finished. You've seen many pretty images in the trailer. But I've still got work to do and you've still got months before you can see it.

Unless.

And, no, I'm not talking Australia (but Hi, Australia! anyway), I'm talking here in the more-or-less-United States, a one time multi-city Browncoat sneak event. Thursday, May 5th at 10:00 pm, the movie (Serenity! Pay attention! Jeez.) will be playing at exactly 10 theaters in 10 cities across the country. You (or possibly someone much like you) (or possibly a robot EXACTLY like you, but with better manners and sonic arm-lasers, sent to take your place) will be able to buy a ticket to see Serenity months in advance. Not just the bitty trailer with not enough Kaylee and Book, but the whole film, in its extremely almost completed state.

Vexed again!

Posted by the Flea at 09:43 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (3)

Star Wars and The O.C.

George Lucas is to appear as himself in the May 12 episode of The O.C. If we could just work in Jessica Alba wearing a Wonder Woman* costume Bill Ardolino's head would explode.

In the episode, Lucas expresses interest in Seth's (Adam Brody) "graphic novel," which leads Ryan's better half to make a difficult decision regarding Summer. Things become even more complicated when Lucas invites Seth to dinner and gives him some worldly advice. I'm guessing it sounded something like this: "Seth, man, if you missed 24 last night, get a tape. Chloe was fierce!"

AmateurWondergirl.jpg

*Ok, this is not Jessica Alba either. But I think we can agree it's a good idea.

Posted by the Flea at 09:41 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Star Wars television series

George Lucas reportedly plans two Star Wars television spin-off series, one animated and one live-action to be set in the time between Episodes "III" and IV (via Gay Orbit).

The first, "Clone Wars," actually exists as series of animated shorts on the Cartoon Network, but Lucas said it will be turned into a "3-D animated version full-series" 30 minutes in length.

But the surprise came with his announcement of a live-action spin-off series that will take place between movie Episodes III and IV. At first, according to StarWars.com, Lucas said, "There's none of the main characters from I, II, and III" in the series, but stopped mid-sentence and said that "that's not exactly true now that I think about it." He concluded by saying it's hard to answer what will be in the show since it's a year away from going into production.
Posted by the Flea at 09:40 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Farscape costume props

A variety of A-prop costumes from Farscape are up for sale on eBay.

Presenting SPECTACULAR & RARE COLLECTIBLES obtained directly from the set of The Jim Henson Company’s award winning intergalactic sci-fi adventure series FARSCAPE.

Here is the rare opportunity to own a piece of sci-fi history: an actual costume used in the filming of FARSCAPE and designed by the world famous craftspeople of the legendary Jim Henson Company

This auction features an authentic costume worn by actor Ben Browder in his role as astronaut John Crichton—considered one of his “earth” outfits

I am tempted by the Aeryn Sun White Rhinestone Wedding Dress for the as yet hypothetical Bride of a Flea.

Posted by the Flea at 09:38 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Cramps: Garbageman

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

Posted by the Flea at 09:37 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Evil genius

This Evil Geniuses' Hall of Fame should come in handy for daily inspirational purposes.

Posted by the Flea at 09:34 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)

Ripley's IQ Game

Ripley's Believe It or Not! presents an IQ Game (via Classical Values).

The object of the game is to jump the balls over each other (a la checkers) until you're left with only one ball.

It's not as easy as you might think...
Posted by the Flea at 09:32 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Promenade the Puzzle

Promenade the Puzzle is a short-film by Michele D'Auria. The Wall meets Tim Burton by way of Ted Naifeh. Gorgeous. I believe the internet has reached a point where I could ditch television entirely and watch things people have produced for themselves. That includes blogs, of course, but it is coming more and more to include film and video (via Chapel Perilous).

Posted by the Flea at 09:31 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

I'd like to teach the world to dance...

...in perfect harmony? The Flea rattles its ghostly chains in welcome to readers from 150 states and territories in April 2005. My server statistics show 120,000+ unique readers so far this month and a monthly record 300,000 page views.

Affection for Kylie Minogue unites readers from Tadjikistan, Barbados, Guyana, Gambia, Albania, Saint Lucia, Mongolia, Ghana, Virgin Islands, Laos, Gabon, Palestinian Territories, Macau, Rwanda, Honduras, Niger, Moldova, Netherlands Antilles, Azerbaidjan, Kazakhstan, Maldives, San Marino, Zimbabwe, British Indian Ocean Territory, Cambodia, Liechtenstein, Kyrgyzstan, Gibraltar, Monaco, Andorra, Antigua and Barbuda, Cameroon, Belarus, Myanmar, Bermuda, Georgia, Nicaragua, Paraguay, Polynesia, Nigeria, Kenya, New Caledonia, Uganda, Cuba, Senegal, Morocco, Panama, Oman, Faroe Islands, Jamaica, Nepal, Namibia, Libya, Mauritius, Ecuador, Syria, Sri Lanka, Trinidad and Tobago, Bahamas, Greenland, Brunei Darussalam, Bolivia, Ukraine, Macedonia, Guatemala, El Salvador, Lebanon, Bosnia-Herzegovina, Dominican Republic, Pakistan, Central African Republic, Cayman Islands, Cyprus, Qatar, Bulgaria, Puerto Rico, Jordan, Sudan, Malta, Peru, Bahrain, Tunisia, Luxembourg, Egypt, Colombia, Costa Rica, Vietnam, Kuwait, Iceland, Lithuania, Yugoslavia, Latvia, Estonia, Bangladesh, Russian Federation, Venezuala, Romania, Croatia, Slovak Republic, Philippines, Ireland, Israel, Malaysia, Chile, Algeria, Indonesia, Argentina, Guam, Slovenia, New Zealand, Czech Republic, Turkey, South Africa, Hungary, Greece, Portugal, Thailand, United Arab Emirates, India, Saudi Arabia, Iran, Taiwan, Norway, Poland, South Korea, Hong Kong, Spain, Singapore, Denmark, Finland, Switzerland, China, Brazil, Austria, Belgium, Sweden, Italy, France, Netherlands, Japan, Germany, Mexico, Australia, Great Britain, "European Union", Canada and the United States.

I am particulary happy to welcome readers from the Mongolia, Lebanon and Ukraine. When the people are free they will always choose the power of pop music over the dubious satisfactions of sour-pussery. This is all headed in the right direction but I shall not rest until the Flea has regular readers from a .va domain! There has to be somebody there who wants to know more about Cameron Diaz and Jessica Alba.

Posted by the Flea at 09:28 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

The Naughty Professor

While I think my lectures are quite witty and no Dean has ever had cause to complain about my grading I think Thorstein Veblen was on to something with his office hours. Personally, I make certain to post my office hours in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying "Beware of the Leopard" to suggest an open-door policy (I make joke) (well, borrow joke actually). Heaven knows what Veblen would have made of email (via the Flea's Professional Development Manager).

Veblen's troubled Stanford years remind us that great brains do not a great professor make. Even his acolytes admitted that his lectures were incomprehensible. He mumbled, and recited the same material to undergraduate audiences and doctoral seminars. He hated the grading system, and willfully switched A's to C's and vice versa. "My grades are like lightning," he once said. "They are liable to strike anywhere." Students shunned him, and the feeling was mutual. One year, his posted office hours changed from "10-11, MWF" to "10-10:05, Mondays."
Posted by the Flea at 09:27 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Hell as explained by a chemistry student

Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

I suppose I should check Snopes for this one but in exam grading season I prefer to live with my illusions.

Posted by the Flea at 09:26 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

April 26, 2005

Serenity

Keeping an eye on the Apple movie site for the Serenity trailer that Joss Whedon has announced is to be released today...

Captain Malcolm Reynolds is a hardened veteran on the losing side of a galactic civil war, who now ekes out a living pulling off small crimes and transport-for-hire aboard his ship, Serenity. He leads a small, eclectic crew who are the closest thing he has left to family - squabbling, insubordinate and undyingly loyal. Mal takes on two new passengers-a young doctor and his unstable, telepathic sister, and gets much more than he bargained for. The pair are fugitives from the coalition dominating the universe, who will stop at nothing to reclaim the telepathic sister.

Update: Still waiting. So here is Jessica Alba vs Doctor Doom in an internet exclusive Fantastic Four trailer. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, by contrast, offers a meditation on rhetorical structure of movie trailers and a man with a voice that makes him sound like he is seven feet tall. Also featured is a girl in a bikini.

Update: The trailer for Serenity. Oh yes.

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C3POs

If George Lucas brought back C3POs, or rather C-3POs, I would forgive him everything. Except Greebo shooting first. Obviously.

I know what you're thinking, kid. "Man, life sure is gonna suck when this stuff tanks and I can't buy it anymore." I wish I could tell you that it'll all work out, that everything will be fine...but I can't. I've been there. I lived through it. I've eaten and lost many a fine cereal. I've munched on crunchy Gremlins and cried in their absence. I cry foul at how Fruit N' Fibre dropped at least 47 of its previously available brands, including "Cranberry Walnut" and "Same As Original, But In Orange Box." The truth is, it'll hurt. It'll hurt for a long, long time. You won't be absolved until you die, and at the rate you're smoking due to the associated stresses of having lost C-3P0's Cereal, that won't be long. I guess the only advice I could give you is this: genie lamp last wish. Screw world peace -- we're talking about double crunching here.

(hat tip to the Neighbour of the Flea)

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Darth Vader vs Hollywood

Darth, how you doing? We thought you were dead!

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The Nomi Song

A Klaus Nomi biopic is a pretty big deal and any opportunity to be in the virtual presence of the flawless Ann Magnuson is not to be missed. A Flea field trip is in order!

He came from outer space, to save the human space.
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Deen: In the disco

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance like it's the 2004 Eurovision Song Contest.

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Alba and Diaz share a bed

If Jessica Alba and Cameron Diaz choose to share a bed I can hardly see how it is news. File this Sun article with headlines like "Jessica Alba lesbian" or "Cameron Diaz nude" in cynical efforts to attract readers. I mean, it is not as if following that link will lead to pictures of Jessica Alba and Cameron diaz in bed naked.

STUNNING Sin City star Jessica Alba got to know Cameron Diaz very well during a recent trip to Honduras - because they had to share a bed. The sexy pair went on the voyage as part of Cameron’s new MTV show Trippin'. And while Jessica had never met Cameron before, they quickly become bed buddies.

Jessica told an American TV show: "We shared a room and bed most of the time, 'cause it's scary. I didn't know her before the trip. We were strangers. There weren't enough rooms. Everyone had to sort of bunk together. The boys all stayed in one room. She didn't snore."

Trippin', it turns out, is an eco-friendly MTV travel show featuring Diaz and Justin Timberlake, though USA Today suggests "fans shouldn't expect to see much of Diaz' romance" with him on screen. No word yet on whether Cameron shares a bed with Drew Barrymore as well.

Update: The Jawa Report has photos. Including the one with the llama. You know, I looked at the llama photo and I thought, no, that would be taking it too far. But does Rusty Shackleford care? No. He just publishes it for everybody to see.

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Operation G.R.A.D.U.A.T.E.S.

Operation G.R.A.D.U.A.T.E.S. is a nicely drawn shoot'em up and I am not terribly good at it.

Update: Much easier once I worked out you can just hold down the spacebar.

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April 25, 2005

Morning Masume

Reading about the recent expulsion of Mari Yaguchi from her role as leader of J-pop stars, Morning Masume, I decided to find some of the act's music on-line. No luck yet but it turns out I had already seen Morning Musume (that one is possibly nsfw) in the context of this little Ringu themed prank. If you not seen Ringu all I can say is these ex-talent show contestants are being very good sports. Shame I cannot find samples of the music anywhere.

Yaguchi's transgression was being caught on camera in a tryst with her boyfriend just a few hundred meters from her home at a time when her parents knew and approved of who she was with.

Yet the scoop photos taken of her were enough to drive her out of Morning Musume, an entirely manufactured group created and updated from failed contestants on TV amateur talent shows, but one of the biggest acts in Japan.

The "tryst" at issue was for a 22-year old woman to be "captured on camera simply getting into a car and walking alongside her boyfriend, an actor called Shun Oguri." The scandal! At least Mari Yaguchi may now pursue a solo career. Shun Oguri's career does not seem to have been called into question despite his obvious propensity for dodgy New Romantic cosmetics.

Posted by the Flea at 06:51 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

J-pop

A guide to J-pop for the perplexed.

Music is a pretty big part of my life, and I listen to it in all kinds of shapes and forms. One of the more obscure (considering I live in Northern Europe) genres I love is j-pop, which is a term used to refer to Japanese pop music.

The site has lots and lots (and lots) of clips for anyone unfamiliar with the syrupy goodness that is Japanese pop music. It isn't all bubblegum and happy bunnies though. Oh, no.

Posted by the Flea at 06:49 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Pink nail polish

Jordon Bratman asked "celebrity jeweller" Stephen Webster for a last minute change to the $114,000 engagement ring he had bought for Christina Aguilera. Because she was wearing pink nail polish.

"I'd asked Stephen to create a ring with one big diamond surrounded by lots of light pink ones. But when I went home that evening, I noticed that Christina was wearing this pink nail varnish she loves, which would clash with the diamonds. I had to get him to change the ring pretty quickly.
Posted by the Flea at 06:44 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Corset piercings

While already familiar to SuicideGirls readers, corset piercings are still quite fashion forward.

People putting piercings on their backs to hang corsets on them??!!? Also, OUCH!
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Young Bond

A friend of mine commented that Brian Herbert needed to be killed before he could entirely ruin the legacy of his brilliant father, Frank Herbert. Yes, hyperbole and so forth. Now, we do not condone murder here at the Flea - even on aesthetic grounds - but I am confident my friend would offer much the same opinion about a series of "Young Bond" children's books being cranked out at the behest of Ian Fleming's family. The very idea is abomination.

Here is James Bond - at the age of 13. The family of Ian Fleming, the creator of James Bond, asked illustrator Kev Walker to create the startling image. And it is hoped the picture will grace the front cover of the second in a set of children’s books, featuring the superspy as a schoolboy. The teenager appears with baggy trousers and floppy fringe - showing only the tiniest hint of the suave charmer he would become.

The Young Bond novels are written by Bond fan Charlie Higson. His first book, SilverFin, hit the shelves earlier this month and has been a publishing success. It features 007 as a schoolboy at Eton, where he is facing the wrath of a vicious American pupil whose father is a wealthy villain carrying out sinister experiments on humans.
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Stewie Griffin: Rocket Man

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

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William Shatner: Rocket Man

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

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Venturi Fétish

"Fétish: An object to which one attributes magical and beneficial powers, leading to a safe and comfortable lifestyle."

A Venturi Fétish, the first production electric sports car, would make a fine Fleamobile. Though the choice of "safe" and "comfortable" seems an odd marketing strategy. Perhaps something is lost in translation.

This obscure French automaker has been showing off “the world’s first electric sports car” since 2002 auto shows, but this was our first look. With a 102-inch wheelbase, 2,424-pound weight, and convertible body, it would seem to resemble a Mazda Miata. On the other hand, having 300 horsepower, a 4.5-second 0-60 dash, a $600,000 price tag, and no gas tank distorts that image a bit. Its 180-kilowatt electric motor can spin to 14,000 RPM, shaming any Ferrari. Lotus did much of the suspension work. The world will see exactly 25 examples of the Fetish, built with pride and joy in California. The lithium battery, also California-made, accounts for 40% of the car’s cost.
Posted by the Flea at 06:29 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Yume no Chikara

Because what's the point of having dreams if you are not going to make them happen? This is is better known as the "Honda balloon ad" or "Honda balloon commercial" to all you search engines out there.

Update: And while we are on the subject of Japanese ads that rule I present this aloe jelly product. I do not know what it is but I am pretty sure I need it to fuel my jungle-gym themed summer vacation plans.

Update: Pocky... slightly unsettling.

Posted by the Flea at 06:28 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Shanghai autoshow

Myrick paints a depressing picture of the Chinese auto industry. Increases in steel prices and lending rates have dealt a harsh blow.

Still, given all of that, the Shanghai autoshow - which opened to the public today - should be doom and gloom. But, it really wasn't that glum. Regardless of the business environment, there's always something nice about autoshows. I can't quite put my finger on what it is though.
Posted by the Flea at 06:27 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

April 23, 2005

L.A.M.B.

I had somehow missed Gwen Stefani's fashion line, L.A.M.B. This cocktail dress for Spring '05 is impressive. L.A.M.B. also offers a line of accessories and, via No Doubt Web, is the news that L.A.M.B. footwear is on the way.

The same "Made with Love" philosophy and attention to detail that are the signature of L.A.M.B.'s apparel collection will carry through in this Sneaker Collection. L.A.M.B. apparel and accessories were launched in Fall 2003 by Grammy winning musician, actress and style icon, Gwen Stefani. Drawing on her eclectic personal style and natural elegance, L.A.M.B. is inspired by all aspects of Stefani's life. The brand is defined by Stefani's innate style, which often features a playful juxtaposition between feminine and masculine. Bold and original graphics are often incorporated into L.A.M.B. creations.

"L.A.M.B. represents all things that I love. It's very much about my style and how I like to put things together. L.A.M.B. is something that I want to wear everyday, and I'm really excited to be adding a collection of L.A.M.B. sneakers to my closet," explains Stefani, who was named "Most Fashion-Forward Artist" by Vogue Magazine.
Posted by the Flea at 09:27 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Paris Hilton Sheer

"'Paris Hilton Sheer' is very sophisticated and sexy and hot and it smells so good and guys love it."

Paris Hilton launches Sheer, her new fragrance, in Tokyo.

Described in the Japanese press kit for the event as "celebrity, fashion leader, model, beauty, society lady and star," Paris took the opportunity to strike a pose or two for the cameras in a stunning sheer pink number of her own.

The new fragrance, which will retails for 5,775 yen per 50ml bottle, includes among its olfactory "notes" such intriguing elements as wet ozone, skin musk and pheromone.
Posted by the Flea at 09:26 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

wom·an

wom·an is a slide show by Esther G. This is breath-taking (via Yummy Wamkame).

# An adult female human. # Women considered as a group; womankind: “Woman feels the invidious distinctions of sex exactly as the black man does those of color” (Elizabeth Cady Stanton). # An adult female human belonging to a specified occupation, group, nationality, or other cate# gory. Often used in combination: an Englishwoman; congresswoman; a saleswoman. # Feminine quality or aspect; womanliness. # A female servant or subordinate. # Informal. 1. A wife. 2. A female lover or sweetheart. Source: The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition

Update: Here is Esther G's blog, The bell jar.

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No Doubt: It's My Life

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.*

*It might be best to right-click and save this one.

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Love Letter to Condi

Love Letter to Condi. Time to wave a lighter back and forth over your head.

To think I could marry a Secretary
with more power than most heads of state.
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Dress for Success

Original creations from Project Runway are to be auctioned and the proceeds donated to Dress for Success, a "not for profit organization that provides interview suits, confidence boosts and career development to job seeking low-income women." Learn how a suit can make a difference in a woman's life.

A donation of just one suit can empower a woman struggling in a low-income situation to start a new life of self-sufficiency and success. S.O.S. - Send One Suit - Week coincides with Women’s History Month and features promotions to raise awareness and funds for Dress for Success affiliates in the U.S. and abroad.
Posted by the Flea at 09:20 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe

Loving the look of the new gateway to Narnia but the content has got a way to go for the wardrobe to work properly. The "about the movie" summary claims there are a thousand tales in Narnia but the "first" that is "about to be told" looks like a stripped down version of books one and five. As ever, is it too much to expect the folks writing copy to have read the books on which their films are based. We shall see how Disney does when they have finished the site.

Posted by the Flea at 09:14 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)