April 30, 2005
Vogon poetry
I cannot believe I missed this Vogon poetry competition. My first attempts at creative writing were efforts to produce my own version of Vogon aesthetics. They continue to this very day.
I Love Paris in the Springtime
Sadly, Paris Hilton's ad for Carl's Jr. may never be aired. I am counting on "the internet" to step into the breach. Or in this case, breeches.
Set to the song "I Love Paris in the Springtime," the 30-second spot, via Mendelsohn/Zien in Los Angeles, shows Hilton washing a car "with hoses shooting everywhere and her soaping everything up," said the source. Touting the BBQ Six Dollar Burger, it plays off her catch phrase, "That's hot."
That’s Hot
The latest rumour about the long awaited Paris Hilton debut album "Paris is Burning" is a collaboration with Le Tigre. Oh yes.
Le Tigre: TKO
Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.
Big Red Button
Do not press the big red button. Seriously.
Debra Messing pole dancing
Pole dancing, all the rage apparently. Well, if pole dancing is good enough for Jude Law it is good enough for the Flea. One can only imagine if Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, Vanessa Paradis, Johnny Depp, Paris Hilton, 50 Cent, Pamela Anderson or Condoleezza Rice have included it alongside their spinning and pilate routines but I am pleased to pass on a report that Debra Messing has included pole dancing in her exercise regimen.
I have yet to see Closer but I gather Natalie Portman had a keep-fit regimen of her own judging by her thong, lingerie and pole dancing ensemble. And not to forget that Kate Moss interpretive dance routine for White Stripes. I am not certain what to make of the tune but the video does bring a healthy blush to my cheeks.
Missionary Impossible
The Sister of the Flea suggests "...this Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes thing is getting even scarier (or beardier)." Katie Holmes, 26, reportedly claims to be a virgin (not that there's anything wrong with that).
Rosie O'Donnell, formerly of FormerlyRosie, had this say.
katie holmes - who is a great actress
she did a movie with
patricia clarkson
i can’t remember the name
but she was amazing in it
he looks happy
and that makes me happy
Mari Yaguchi
Mari Yaguchi is looking a bit woman on the verge after leaving all-girl pop group Morning Musume. One can only hope she left her friends in good hands under the new leadership of Hitomi Yoshizawa.
Yaguchi added that she had talked with new Morning Musume leader Hitomi Yoshizawa after making her decision to quit. "I felt sorry for the group members. After talking (with Yoshizawa), however, I felt that the group would continue to work even though I quit," she said.
The Personal Property of Marlon Brando
Some of Marlon Brando's personal effects are to be auctioned by Christie's this summer.
Other lots include Brando's 1954 Oscar nomination certificate for On the Waterfront, the black velvet tunic he wore as Jor-El in Superman and Native American artefacts given to him by actor Val Kilmer.
April 29, 2005
Keitai culture
Features that are experimental in North American cell phones are mainstream in Japan. It is not just the specific gadgetry that is important, however, so much as its ubiquitousness (via the Neighbour of a Flea).
Keitai Deka
I cannot be the only person who would enjoy subtitled Japanese television programming. Once the web has smashed television into ten thousand narrowcasted channels I shall eat Teriyaki Nori roasted seaweed and watch Keitai Deka on my cellphone television.
Another Japanese game show
The more wax you are covered with the more difficult it is to defend yourself with a small plastic umbrella. Just like life, really.
Anakin Dynamite
Anakin Dynamite. Sweet. Just don't use those Jedi skillz in class.
Unbiblical, Weird
Pharyngula calls it irony overload. Though reading this makes me think I should have watched Revelations, I just wish I had thought to write the Left Behind series as I would now be blogging from a seaside mansion/compound in Mexico.
Body piercing saved my life
One of many "edgy" slogans for Extreme Christian Clothing.
Ask Captain Lim
How safe is flying today? And just which seats are best in the event of an emergency?
Boeing Dreamliner
One assumes Airbus have done their math vis a vis passenger numbers and destination airports large enough to accomodate their new aircraft. Gods, what a monster...
But for all the hype about the maiden flight of the new double-decker Airbus A380 I am forced to ask how long it would take to board or disembark and what the wisdom is in producing something whose scale paints a giant terrorist bullseye on the side.
I think Air Canada's decision to go with the new long-range Boeing 7E7 Dreamliner is a sensible one. Flea-readers who share my corporate video fetish can find plenty of Dreamliner goodness at the Boeing site. "7E7 Dreamliner Approved for Offer to Airlines" is particularly satisfying both for the crap sound quality and peculiar "raise the roof" gesture the project leader has picked up from his teenage children.
April 28, 2005
Rock Star Kylie
Kylie Minogue is to headline the Glastonbury music festival as part of a reported transformation into a rock star. Expect irritated noises from humourless indie scenesters everywhere.
Minogue has long expressed an interest in playing Glastonbury, an enthusiasm not matched by the festival's promoter, Michael Eavis, until now. Like her 1995 duet with Nick Cave, Glastonbury will add rock cred to her extensive CV.
And the Australian has some snark to offer... the cads!
Night Watch
Night Watch looks promising (hat tip to Bill's comments).
German Post Office
German Post Office is an animated short using clips from the soundtracks of two German-language pornographic films found on "the internet". This should be work-safe unless your employer speaks German.
Space Dude
My hand-eye coordination does not extend to jumping from platform to platform in space so I have to take the game's word for it but apparently there are ten levels of Space Dude so best not to play unless you have time to kill or are, in point of fact, the boss and can do as you please.
Crazy Frog Axel F
Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.
80s Tees
Lots of temptation at an on-line 80s T-shirt store. I am pretty much going to have to buy this Wembley and Red Fraggle Rock T-shirt (via That Crazy Neighbor Lady).
Red Fraggle - The Enthusiast
If I was a Fraggle I would be yearning for Red. Why does she not believe my postcards?
Science vs. Norse mythology
Or rather "science" vs Norse Creation Science... remember you can't prove a negative! (via Chapel Perilous)
Although I'm quite content with who I am and what I am...
"Following this is a list of different occupations. You must select at least five of them. You may add more if you like to your list before you pass it on (after you select five of the items as it was passed to you). Of the five you selected, you are to finish each phrase with what you would do as a member of that profession. Then pass it on to three other bloggers. OF COURSE you all without blogs are welcome to play along in comments!"
The complete list is in the extended entry. My choices:
If I could be a librarian I would be in the employ of the Balfour Library at my favourite museum in the world. I would take my lunch at the Bird and Baby.
If I could be a psychologist I would slide sideways into Lacanian clinical practice instead of using Lacan to write papers about Japanese horror movies.
If I could be a linguist I would design vampire languages for horror movies Japanese or otherwise.
If I could be an architect I would devote my life to building the Tyrrel Corporation pyramid in downtown Toronto.
If I could be a backup dancer I would have Kylie Minogue's number on speed-dial. Also, I would be ripped.
I was tagged by the delicious SondraK...
If I could be a scientist...
If I could be a farmer...
If I could be a musician...
If I could be a doctor...
If I could be a painter...
If I could be a gardener...
If I could be a missionary...
If I could be a chef...
If I could be an architect...
If I could be a linguist...
If I could be a psychologist...
If I could be a librarian...
If I could be an athlete...
If I could be a lawyer...
If I could be an innkeeper...
If I could be a professor...
If I could be a writer...
If I could be a backup dancer...
If I could be a llama-rider...
If I could be a bonnie pirate...
If I could be a midget stripper...
If I could be a proctologist...
IIf I could be a TV-Chat Show host...
If I could be an actor...
If I could be a judge...
If I could be a Jedi...
April 27, 2005
Serenity sneak preview
Curse you, Seattle, Austin, Sacramento, Boston, Altanta, Chicago, San Francisco, Las Vegas, Denver and The Portland of Oregon! For Joss Whedon has a Serenity announcement to make to you:
Unless.
And, no, I'm not talking Australia (but Hi, Australia! anyway), I'm talking here in the more-or-less-United States, a one time multi-city Browncoat sneak event. Thursday, May 5th at 10:00 pm, the movie (Serenity! Pay attention! Jeez.) will be playing at exactly 10 theaters in 10 cities across the country. You (or possibly someone much like you) (or possibly a robot EXACTLY like you, but with better manners and sonic arm-lasers, sent to take your place) will be able to buy a ticket to see Serenity months in advance. Not just the bitty trailer with not enough Kaylee and Book, but the whole film, in its extremely almost completed state.
Vexed again!
Star Wars and The O.C.
George Lucas is to appear as himself in the May 12 episode of The O.C. If we could just work in Jessica Alba wearing a Wonder Woman* costume Bill Ardolino's head would explode.
*Ok, this is not Jessica Alba either. But I think we can agree it's a good idea.
Star Wars television series
George Lucas reportedly plans two Star Wars television spin-off series, one animated and one live-action to be set in the time between Episodes "III" and IV (via Gay Orbit).
But the surprise came with his announcement of a live-action spin-off series that will take place between movie Episodes III and IV. At first, according to StarWars.com, Lucas said, "There's none of the main characters from I, II, and III" in the series, but stopped mid-sentence and said that "that's not exactly true now that I think about it." He concluded by saying it's hard to answer what will be in the show since it's a year away from going into production.
Farscape costume props
A variety of A-prop costumes from Farscape are up for sale on eBay.
Here is the rare opportunity to own a piece of sci-fi history: an actual costume used in the filming of FARSCAPE and designed by the world famous craftspeople of the legendary Jim Henson Company
This auction features an authentic costume worn by actor Ben Browder in his role as astronaut John Crichton—considered one of his “earth” outfits
I am tempted by the Aeryn Sun White Rhinestone Wedding Dress for the as yet hypothetical Bride of a Flea.
Cramps: Garbageman
Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.
Ripley's IQ Game
Ripley's Believe It or Not! presents an IQ Game (via Classical Values).
It's not as easy as you might think...
Promenade the Puzzle
Promenade the Puzzle is a short-film by Michele D'Auria. The Wall meets Tim Burton by way of Ted Naifeh. Gorgeous. I believe the internet has reached a point where I could ditch television entirely and watch things people have produced for themselves. That includes blogs, of course, but it is coming more and more to include film and video (via Chapel Perilous).
I'd like to teach the world to dance...
...in perfect harmony? The Flea rattles its ghostly chains in welcome to readers from 150 states and territories in April 2005. My server statistics show 120,000+ unique readers so far this month and a monthly record 300,000 page views.
Affection for Kylie Minogue unites readers from Tadjikistan, Barbados, Guyana, Gambia, Albania, Saint Lucia, Mongolia, Ghana, Virgin Islands, Laos, Gabon, Palestinian Territories, Macau, Rwanda, Honduras, Niger, Moldova, Netherlands Antilles, Azerbaidjan, Kazakhstan, Maldives, San Marino, Zimbabwe, British Indian Ocean Territory, Cambodia, Liechtenstein, Kyrgyzstan, Gibraltar, Monaco, Andorra, Antigua and Barbuda, Cameroon, Belarus, Myanmar, Bermuda, Georgia, Nicaragua, Paraguay, Polynesia, Nigeria, Kenya, New Caledonia, Uganda, Cuba, Senegal, Morocco, Panama, Oman, Faroe Islands, Jamaica, Nepal, Namibia, Libya, Mauritius, Ecuador, Syria, Sri Lanka, Trinidad and Tobago, Bahamas, Greenland, Brunei Darussalam, Bolivia, Ukraine, Macedonia, Guatemala, El Salvador, Lebanon, Bosnia-Herzegovina, Dominican Republic, Pakistan, Central African Republic, Cayman Islands, Cyprus, Qatar, Bulgaria, Puerto Rico, Jordan, Sudan, Malta, Peru, Bahrain, Tunisia, Luxembourg, Egypt, Colombia, Costa Rica, Vietnam, Kuwait, Iceland, Lithuania, Yugoslavia, Latvia, Estonia, Bangladesh, Russian Federation, Venezuala, Romania, Croatia, Slovak Republic, Philippines, Ireland, Israel, Malaysia, Chile, Algeria, Indonesia, Argentina, Guam, Slovenia, New Zealand, Czech Republic, Turkey, South Africa, Hungary, Greece, Portugal, Thailand, United Arab Emirates, India, Saudi Arabia, Iran, Taiwan, Norway, Poland, South Korea, Hong Kong, Spain, Singapore, Denmark, Finland, Switzerland, China, Brazil, Austria, Belgium, Sweden, Italy, France, Netherlands, Japan, Germany, Mexico, Australia, Great Britain, "European Union", Canada and the United States.
I am particulary happy to welcome readers from the Mongolia, Lebanon and Ukraine. When the people are free they will always choose the power of pop music over the dubious satisfactions of sour-pussery. This is all headed in the right direction but I shall not rest until the Flea has regular readers from a .va domain! There has to be somebody there who wants to know more about Cameron Diaz and Jessica Alba.
The Naughty Professor
While I think my lectures are quite witty and no Dean has ever had cause to complain about my grading I think Thorstein Veblen was on to something with his office hours. Personally, I make certain to post my office hours in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying "Beware of the Leopard" to suggest an open-door policy (I make joke) (well, borrow joke actually). Heaven knows what Veblen would have made of email (via the Flea's Professional Development Manager).
Hell as explained by a chemistry student
Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
I suppose I should check Snopes for this one but in exam grading season I prefer to live with my illusions.
April 26, 2005
Serenity
Keeping an eye on the Apple movie site for the Serenity trailer that Joss Whedon has announced is to be released today...
Update: Still waiting. So here is Jessica Alba vs Doctor Doom in an internet exclusive Fantastic Four trailer. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, by contrast, offers a meditation on rhetorical structure of movie trailers and a man with a voice that makes him sound like he is seven feet tall. Also featured is a girl in a bikini.
Update: The trailer for Serenity. Oh yes.
C3POs
If George Lucas brought back C3POs, or rather C-3POs, I would forgive him everything. Except Greebo shooting first. Obviously.
(hat tip to the Neighbour of the Flea)
Darth Vader vs Hollywood
Darth, how you doing? We thought you were dead!
The Nomi Song
A Klaus Nomi biopic is a pretty big deal and any opportunity to be in the virtual presence of the flawless Ann Magnuson is not to be missed. A Flea field trip is in order!
Deen: In the disco
Now is the time at the Flea when we dance like it's the 2004 Eurovision Song Contest.
Alba and Diaz share a bed
If Jessica Alba and Cameron Diaz choose to share a bed I can hardly see how it is news. File this Sun article with headlines like "Jessica Alba lesbian" or "Cameron Diaz nude" in cynical efforts to attract readers. I mean, it is not as if following that link will lead to pictures of Jessica Alba and Cameron diaz in bed naked.
Jessica told an American TV show: "We shared a room and bed most of the time, 'cause it's scary. I didn't know her before the trip. We were strangers. There weren't enough rooms. Everyone had to sort of bunk together. The boys all stayed in one room. She didn't snore."
Trippin', it turns out, is an eco-friendly MTV travel show featuring Diaz and Justin Timberlake, though USA Today suggests "fans shouldn't expect to see much of Diaz' romance" with him on screen. No word yet on whether Cameron shares a bed with Drew Barrymore as well.
Update: The Jawa Report has photos. Including the one with the llama. You know, I looked at the llama photo and I thought, no, that would be taking it too far. But does Rusty Shackleford care? No. He just publishes it for everybody to see.
Operation G.R.A.D.U.A.T.E.S.
Operation G.R.A.D.U.A.T.E.S. is a nicely drawn shoot'em up and I am not terribly good at it.
Update: Much easier once I worked out you can just hold down the spacebar.
April 25, 2005
Morning Masume
Reading about the recent expulsion of Mari Yaguchi from her role as leader of J-pop stars, Morning Masume, I decided to find some of the act's music on-line. No luck yet but it turns out I had already seen Morning Musume (that one is possibly nsfw) in the context of this little Ringu themed prank. If you not seen Ringu all I can say is these ex-talent show contestants are being very good sports. Shame I cannot find samples of the music anywhere.
Yet the scoop photos taken of her were enough to drive her out of Morning Musume, an entirely manufactured group created and updated from failed contestants on TV amateur talent shows, but one of the biggest acts in Japan.
The "tryst" at issue was for a 22-year old woman to be "captured on camera simply getting into a car and walking alongside her boyfriend, an actor called Shun Oguri." The scandal! At least Mari Yaguchi may now pursue a solo career. Shun Oguri's career does not seem to have been called into question despite his obvious propensity for dodgy New Romantic cosmetics.
J-pop
A guide to J-pop for the perplexed.
The site has lots and lots (and lots) of clips for anyone unfamiliar with the syrupy goodness that is Japanese pop music. It isn't all bubblegum and happy bunnies though. Oh, no.
Pink nail polish
Jordon Bratman asked "celebrity jeweller" Stephen Webster for a last minute change to the $114,000 engagement ring he had bought for Christina Aguilera. Because she was wearing pink nail polish.
Corset piercings
While already familiar to SuicideGirls readers, corset piercings are still quite fashion forward.
Young Bond
A friend of mine commented that Brian Herbert needed to be killed before he could entirely ruin the legacy of his brilliant father, Frank Herbert. Yes, hyperbole and so forth. Now, we do not condone murder here at the Flea - even on aesthetic grounds - but I am confident my friend would offer much the same opinion about a series of "Young Bond" children's books being cranked out at the behest of Ian Fleming's family. The very idea is abomination.
The Young Bond novels are written by Bond fan Charlie Higson. His first book, SilverFin, hit the shelves earlier this month and has been a publishing success. It features 007 as a schoolboy at Eton, where he is facing the wrath of a vicious American pupil whose father is a wealthy villain carrying out sinister experiments on humans.
Stewie Griffin: Rocket Man
Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.
William Shatner: Rocket Man
Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.
Venturi Fétish
"Fétish: An object to which one attributes magical and beneficial powers, leading to a safe and comfortable lifestyle."
A Venturi Fétish, the first production electric sports car, would make a fine Fleamobile. Though the choice of "safe" and "comfortable" seems an odd marketing strategy. Perhaps something is lost in translation.
Yume no Chikara
Because what's the point of having dreams if you are not going to make them happen? This is is better known as the "Honda balloon ad" or "Honda balloon commercial" to all you search engines out there.
Update: And while we are on the subject of Japanese ads that rule I present this aloe jelly product. I do not know what it is but I am pretty sure I need it to fuel my jungle-gym themed summer vacation plans.
Update: Pocky... slightly unsettling.
Shanghai autoshow
Myrick paints a depressing picture of the Chinese auto industry. Increases in steel prices and lending rates have dealt a harsh blow.
April 23, 2005
L.A.M.B.
I had somehow missed Gwen Stefani's fashion line, L.A.M.B. This cocktail dress for Spring '05 is impressive. L.A.M.B. also offers a line of accessories and, via No Doubt Web, is the news that L.A.M.B. footwear is on the way.
"L.A.M.B. represents all things that I love. It's very much about my style and how I like to put things together. L.A.M.B. is something that I want to wear everyday, and I'm really excited to be adding a collection of L.A.M.B. sneakers to my closet," explains Stefani, who was named "Most Fashion-Forward Artist" by Vogue Magazine.
Paris Hilton Sheer
"'Paris Hilton Sheer' is very sophisticated and sexy and hot and it smells so good and guys love it."
Paris Hilton launches Sheer, her new fragrance, in Tokyo.
The new fragrance, which will retails for 5,775 yen per 50ml bottle, includes among its olfactory "notes" such intriguing elements as wet ozone, skin musk and pheromone.
wom·an
wom·an is a slide show by Esther G. This is breath-taking (via Yummy Wamkame).
Update: Here is Esther G's blog, The bell jar.
No Doubt: It's My Life
Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.*
*It might be best to right-click and save this one.
Love Letter to Condi
Love Letter to Condi. Time to wave a lighter back and forth over your head.
with more power than most heads of state.
Dress for Success
Original creations from Project Runway are to be auctioned and the proceeds donated to Dress for Success, a "not for profit organization that provides interview suits, confidence boosts and career development to job seeking low-income women." Learn how a suit can make a difference in a woman's life.
The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe
Loving the look of the new gateway to Narnia but the content has got a way to go for the wardrobe to work properly. The "about the movie" summary claims there are a thousand tales in Narnia but the "first" that is "about to be told" looks like a stripped down version of books one and five. As ever, is it too much to expect the folks writing copy to have read the books on which their films are based. We shall see how Disney does when they have finished the site.
Serenity trailer
Joss Whedon has been doing yoga and can touch his toes. Also, he has an announcement to make. "Trailer. Serenity. Tuesday."
I'm here on the official site, so that can only mean one thing: somebody finally told me my password! (Again.) It probably also means that I have some big-ass announcement or other. Well tops on the announcement list is this: after months of intensive yoga, i can finally touch my toes! (They feel round and bunion-y.)
But there's more! I'm talkin' movie news, peeps, so no more drumroll: Trailer. Serenity. Tuesday.
Yeah, kids, the haps is hap'nin', and it runs thus: EXCLUSIVELY on Apple movie trailers (and linked through this site as well of course) will be a small, medium, large or FULLSCREEN trailer for Serenity the major motion movie. Yeah, THE trailer. And the following Friday said trailer hits theaters. Which theaters? Until I get confirmation you'll have to guess, but I'm betting you can.
Now, here's a word of warning: this trailer ain't shy. If you're looking to live totally spoiler-free, know that there's plenty of key dialogue and images running through this bad boy. It's pretty tasty, though, and it doesn't give everything away. But close scrutiny will definitely learn you much of what's to come. (Anakin TOTALLY goes evil.) It's a nice piece to while away the time till September, and hopefully should intrigue th' peeps that don't have coats of brown.
The only thing more exciting than y'all finally seeing this was showing it to Nathan. Like a schoolboy giggled he.
Bye-ee!
Joss "You can't take my toes from me" Whedon.
And Serenity to follow in September.
Study in communication
Web-designer, Ze offers Passive Aggressive Communication Solutions. There are some great pointers on punction to be found.
Emails 'pose threat to IQ'
As someone whose work is constrained by hundreds of emails asking questions that have already been answered in lecture or by the course syllabus, I am hardly surprised to learn my faltering intellect is having a hard time of it.
Further study might usefully consider a corrolation between the constant sending of pesky emails and doziness, lethargy and the inability to focus.
April 22, 2005
Osethay Igbay Ollywoodhay Utslays
Pope Benedict XVI has issued his first encyclical, Osethay Igbay Ollywoodhay Utslays, an expression of "grave doubts" about Paris Hilton for her behaviour in apparent contradiction of the moral precepts of the Olyhay Iblebay.
"A contract is sacred and binding and not to be taken lightly," wrote Benedict XVI. "God does not smile on those who ignore contractual obligations in order to advance their own frivolous agendae."
Hinting that he knew the "ealray easonray" (real reason) for the split between Hilton and Richie, the pontiff warned that he might not choose to remain "ilentsay" forever.
One of the most shocking moments of my time in England was the discovery my English friends could not speak Pig Latin. My friend from Texas and I naturally insisted onay onglay onversationcay.
Paris and Nicole
"It's no big secret that Nicole and I are no longer friends. Nicole knows what she did."
By now everybody knows Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie have had a falling out.
Sad news. At least Paris' album is coming out later this year.
Update: Gaah! The article says Nicole has an album coming out later this year. Well, I am curious about that too but I am still waiting for "Paris is Burning".
Who should you vote for?
A handy website for people voting in the imminent UK general election. Too late for me as my absentee ballot is already decided (via Shatnerian).
Not that it would have changed my vote. My result suggested I should vote Conservative. The problem with all quiz thingees of this type is that they have difficulty weighting the relative importance to voters of specific issues let alone addressing "deal breaker" issues. For me those issues are security and defense, equality before the law, and freedom of expression. Labour does not fair well on that last issue but does well enough on the first two that I would not consider a lousy Conservative alternative for all three. Another imponderable is trust. I do not agree with much of what Tony Blair advocates but I trust the man. By contrast, the only thing Ann Widdecombe ever said that I agreed with was that "there is something of the night" about Michael Howard. Creepy. At least the quiz fairly addressed my active antipathy for the Liberal Democrats.
Gorillaz: Rock It
Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.
Quentin Crisp
"Never try to keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level. It's cheaper."
- Quentin Crisp
Sometimes I think pig-farming has indeed become my style. If I can implement my Ghost of a flea brand-stretching project I may yet have the funds to become the ballet dancer I was meant to be (via the Flea's HR expert). This is a metaphorical aspiration you understand. My actual back-up career is superspy/underwear model.
Countdown to Victory
As the Flea makes preparations for a proper VE Day anniversary celebration in the Cotswolds, the CBC offers an interesting countdown of the last days of the Second World War in Europe. News clips from the CBC archives are particularly moving.
Nazi flag
An Australian baby is reported to have enjoyed the "bright colours" of a Nazi flag. Her mother claimed not to have understood what the flag represented (via the Flea's Anita Loos Confidante).
Two residents of Kitchener, Ontario had no such excuse for their decision to fly the Nazi flag.
They took it down themselves yesterday, but not because of any pressure, McKee said. "We made our point," said the unrepentant white supremacist. He said the flag will fly again on Wednesday, which is Adolf Hitler's birthday.
I think it is appropriate to publish all these names so that search engines might appropriately contextualize them in perpetuity.
World Conquest
World Conquest is a web-rased Risk type game. Star Conquest is more engrossing and, unfortunately, time consuming. Hey, it's Friday. It's not like they can reasonably expect you to not be playing video games at the office. There is probably something in your collective agreement about that somewhere.
Hamster history
The Hamster Theatre Company presents the hamster history of Britain (via Quotulatiousness).
Falkirk Wheel
The Falkirk Wheel is a rather impressive boat-lift.
Hot Water
Hot Water is another plumbing themed on-line game that I find too stressful to enjoy properly.
France
The French government supports dictatorship over democracy in pursuit of arms sales and business opportunity. You could knock me down with a feather. I expect progressives to rush into the streets calling for a boycott of French goods, disinvestment in French business and an end to academic exchanges with French universities just as soon as the mainstream media reports the news of this latest demonstration of venal hypocrisy (via Instapundit).
/bitter sarcasm
At the outset of a three-day visit to China, French Prime Minister Jean-Pierre Raffarin said he supported Beijing's "anti-secession" law on Taiwan, and vowed to keep pushing for an end to an EU arms embargo that could open the door for Paris to sell weapons to the Asian giant.
French
| Your Inner European is French! |
You have the best of everything - at least, *you* think so. |
This insight arrives via Paul, whose inner European is Russian.
April 21, 2005
Project Runway
"Fashion can be a real bitch sometimes."
- Heidi Klum
I wanted to watch Project Runway because Flea-fav Michael Kors was to be one of the judges and I have been curious to learn more about how he thinks. But the star of the show turned out to be the, uhh, star of the show. Heidi Klum is an engaging host and suprisingly sweet in comparison with the somewhat terrifying Tyra Banks. She is quite stunning, of course, but watching her lead a pack of models in an impromptu walk at a roof-top party demonstrated the elemental presence that makes her a star and the rest merely gorgeous. Wishing the losing contestant "auf Wiedersehen" and a handshake was particularly charming.
I was astonished at what some of the contestants could put together on short notice using supermarket-sourced materials. The screamingly camp Austin Scarlett's corn husk dress showed true innovation but I was most impressed by Mario Cadenas' Balenciaga-volume shower curtain gown (show spoiler in the first Cadenas link). In fact, I was surprised to see Cadenas there at all as I was under the impression he had already be tapped as one of fashion's next big things.
Update: This link should lead to an introduction to Project Runway.
33
"33", the first episode of the new Battlestar Galactica series is available for viewing on-line, uncut and commercial free. Play it for your non sf geek friends at work while offering your personal commentary and exposition on points of comparison with the first series, aspects of Colonial history and speculation on just what the heck Commander Adama was thinking when he decided to arrest President Roslin in the end of season cliffhanger. I mean Adama, dude.
Blur: Good Song
Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.
Puki
Puki is a nice little office diversion. Just be careful when the little suckers jump for your face.
BB minigun
A window-mounted BB minigun would make short work of skateboard nuissances though would probably violate the same noise by-laws.
F/A-22 Raptor
Video and commentary on the first F/A-22 squadron in training arrive via INDC Journal, which provides a one-word rationale for the expense.*
* China.
Ethical gaming
Let's face facts. Even if it were not crippled by dozens of dictatorships, a totally unaccountable bureaucracy and massive institutionalized corruption and criminality the United Nations would still be lame.
So what's in the chopper? Bombs? Napalm? No: your cargo is high-energy biscuits. There may be armed rebels a-plenty in Food Force, a new video-game release, but it's not your job to massacre them; instead, you have to negotiate with them to ensure that starving refugees get life-saving food supplies. Welcome to the world of ethical gaming. Food Force is the brainchild of the UN World Food Programme (WFP).
April 20, 2005
Winston’s War
I have just got through Michael Dobbs' Winston's War and am looking forward to the sequel, Never Surrender. It is at times a gut-wrenching read. There were so very many interests, so very many people, who would do anything rather than face up to their responsibility and fight evil.
It all started over a drink in a pub with two excellent friends, the wonderful TV writers and producers Laurence Marks and Maurice Gran. One of them mentioned that the reason why Winston Churchill became Prime Minister and not any of the other candidates was because of a telegram of tremendous significance that went missing on the day he was appointed. Could it have been so chaotic, I asked myself? Could our entire history have been changed because of straying telegram?
Palace of the Soviets
Beatiful Atrocities comments on Stalin's architectural vision for Moscow. Lots of the designs were never realized in the Soviet era instead having to wait for contemporary condo development in downtown Toronto.
The Aristocrats
The Aristocrats is no killing joke but it has a distinguished history nonetheless.
Due to the offensive nature of the joke, it has remained within the inner sanctums of comedy for decades. It’s told in the back rooms of comedy clubs by comedians to comedians—until now.
Just so we are clear on this point... "the Aristocrats" is meant to be as over-the-top offensive as possible. Before you read the next sentence: please do not even consider following the next link at work or in mixed company. In fact, do not even consider following the next link! Here is the unaired South Park rendition of the joke which may have served as an inspiration for the new documentary.
Royal Reference Room
Royal Reference Room features a variety of astrological natal charts and other assorted factoids about British royalty. The natal chart of England is fun too though the coronation of a Norman Duke on the basis of a dubious claim and right of conquest is hardly an auspicious choice for a birthdate. How about Magna Carta instead? June 15, 1215 makes England Gemini. Creepy.
BoingBoing socialism
BoingBoing socialism does not sound too far afield from South Park Republicanism.
Stewie Gilligan Griffin
I think it is pretty obvious to people who know me that Stewie and I are channelling the same cosmic energy (hat tip to the Flea's Interpersonal Skills Advisor).
Tomorrow People
The Campblog reports on the impending region 1 dvd release of The Tomorrow People. Jaunt!
Lois Lane
Images of Kate Bosworth as Lois Lane from the forthcoming Superman Returns.
Funny female CBC news personalities
In my quest for Wendy Mesley media I came across a weblog, or "blog", with an article that I am pretty sure qualifies as objectification. More unattractive CBC news personalities at once! Though you have to admit former Mr. Mesley, Peter Mansbridge is sex on a stick.
Wendy is the kind of woman that will chew you up and spit you out in an argument, berate you in front of your friends for being naive, and make you buy an issue of Frank Magazine…
But can you find those Frank covers on line? Nooooo...
April 19, 2005
Pope Benedict XVI
"We are moving towards a dictatorship of relativism which does not recognise anything as definitive and has as its highest value one's own ego and one's own desires."
Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger is now Pope Benedict XVI. The choice of name presumably offers some degree of symbolic continuity with Pope Benedict XV. As the first German Pope in a thousand years (I believe the last was Victor II) this name makes a gesture toward a man known for attempted reconciliation and peace-making in contrast with some of Germany's more recent history and the role some have contentiously argued was played by the Vatican in that history.
I expect we will be reading much about the former Cardinal's one-time membership in the Hitler Youth, something I believe was required by law at the time. Certainly, the optics of such a choice present a serious problem. That said, I would be more concerned about the new Pope's current views.
He upset many Jews with a statement in 1987 that Jewish history and scripture reach fulfilment only in Christ — a position denounced by critics as “theological anti-semitism”. He made more enemies among other religions in 2000, when he signed a document, Dominus Jesus, in which he argued: “Only in the Catholic church is there eternal salvation”.
I say "would be" because it seems peculiar to expect the leader of the Roman communion to believe eternal salvation could come about in any other way. Surely that would make him a Protestant? I see no point in painting over differences of opinion including, and perhaps especially from my point of view, those differences found amongst Christians. The last Pope described "homosexuality" as part of a "modern ideology of evil". Well, I believe that view itself to be a mistake whose ultimate inspiration is the very word John Paul II chose to use and, to parse Benedict XVI, a manifestation of an objective disorder of faith. Sex and morality are not the only issues in contention as the appropriateness of contraception, role of women in the church, etc. and so forth are all in dispute to say nothing of the the basic divisions amongst Catholic, Orthodox and Protestant traditions or people of other faiths entirely. So we have serious disagreements amongst people of faith whose roots go back at least as far as Luther tacking a note to the door. The question now is how people with such basic disagreements can come together to address issues of social concern without demonizing one another. This may place me on the side of a "dictatorship of relativism" but I hope such could be a benign dictatorship. I think this is infinitely preferable to the imposition of absolutes - least of all my own - and our only choice if we are to find points of compromise that do not compromise our own most profoundly held convictions. We have much work to do.
The Way to Eden
Sad to say but not even Orion slave girls could rescue the disaster that is Enterprise. Time to celebrate Star Trek as it once was... The Way to Eden featured a song we all probably know already. This deserves to be sung around water coolers everywhere. Sing along at your office (or grocery store... or elevator... etc.) then let me know and I will link back to you!
Yea brother
Heading out to Eden
No more trouble in my body or my mind
Gonna live like a king on whatever I find
Eat all the fruit and throw away the rind
Yea brother, yea
You can reach a soundfile here under "yeah brother"... this deserves a Dead Can Dance cover.
Update: ***Dave is the only one of you who will own up to knowing the lyrics! :)
Google Sightseeing
Why bother seeing the world for real? Here are some Google satellite image oddities at Wired.
Then there is the creepy spectacle of Neverland Ranch. It takes a lot of water to keep those lawns green and fend off reality so neatly.
Score A Million
Score A Million is a straight-forward trivia game.
The Bravery: An Honest Mistake
Now is the time at the Flea when we dance like it's 1986. Or maybe 1987.
Magic Kittens
A cute tribute to minimal techo. Drink five cups of coffee and your office will be party central!
Novem Portis de Umbrarum Regni
"The Engravings of The Club Dumas and The Ninth Gate" hosts images of woodcut engravings, designed by the Spanish artist Francisco Solé, from a fictional grimoire. I have copies of the images themselves as tarot cards in the Flea Towers collection. They were part of a promotional kit for the film and irresistible to a collector of the eldritch and the outré.
This is the premise behind Arturo Perez Reverte's novel The Club Dumas (originally published in Spanish as El Club Dumas) and its film adaptation The Ninth Gate. The protagonist in the story is a modern-day "book detective" named Corso, a scholarly P.I. who gets paid to research rare books. Corso gets in over his head, however, when he agrees to study the last three surviving copies of a 17th century occult work that allegedly has the power to summon the Devil.
Is "www" in Hebrew equal to 666?
Is "www" in Hebrew equal to 666?
The number 666 indicates that the letters in the Greek form of the name of the Antichrist will add up to 666. There is a slim possibility that his name will equal 666 in the Hebrew language since the Antichrist will be Jewish. The numeric system does not work in English or in languages other than Greek or Hebrew, so it is useless to calculate the values of names in these modern languages. (Grant R. Jeffrey, Prince of Darkness, pp. 275, 277)
The "count the number of the beast" is the total of adding the letter/numerical value of his name. This "count" equals "Six hundred sixty and six', not simply three 6's or 666. So if we apply the clear teaching of Revelation 13:18 to the Hebrew "www", we actually have 6+6+6 or 18 — not 666.
18! It is to shudder. More important is that "slim possibility" caveat. The New Testament was written almost entirely in koine Greek so people looking for an Hebrew correspondence are most probably on the wrong track. But then I meet all too many Christians who believe Scripture to be the literal word of God but cannot be bothered to learn Hebrew or Greek. Tut tut!
Underwater bipedal locomotion
Ia! Ia! Cthulhu fhtagn! Underwater bipedal locomotion by octopuses in disguise...
April 18, 2005
RU (no, not tATu)
Advertising is the very essence of democracy.
- Anton Chekhov
Clever chap that Chekhov. So I am thinking I should move to Russia and produce a girl/girl pop act. I am still missing tATu and nothing will replace Romania's Cheeky Girls in my artistic firmament but RU are just fine to be getting on with. This is my exact creative vision. Lots of videos get the idea across. "Heat of the Night" is entirely representative but "Play Like That" is a tour de force. I mean, pardon my French but it is the new Flea anthem. It neatly summarizes my entire political-philosophy. So much better than communism. I am going to play it over and over until they tack an eviction notice to my door.
Enlisting Mike Tyson and the Fedorov Brothers may demonstrate a profound marketing logic but it escapes me. I cannot even begin to process RU's "highly political" track Egomaniacs. It is quite danceable though I have the impression it is supposed to be a protest song. The corsets are a dead give-away.
Dennis Madalone: America We Stand As One
I * knew * I had forgot to post something. SondraK has reminded me!
***
To my dear American friends and neighbo(u)rs,
If you ever find yourself considering the peculiar view so many non-American friends have of your country all you need to know is we are looking this kind of schmaltz in speechless wonder.
Yours,
The Flea
PS - This America, Fuck Yeah! edit is brilliant.
PPS - I owe this bit of genius to Shatnerian.
PPS - What's Lyta Alexander doing in the video? Tell me she is not married to that guy. I am obviously doing something radically wrong with my life.
Subjunctive
As the Flea is often in a subjunctive mood I should be attracting brainy types left and right.
(via The Tiger in Winter)
Dark Phoenix
Dark Phoenix Rising reminds me I need some Jean Grey/Dark Phoenix energy in my life. Well, Dark Willow anyhow. And Wolverine kicks ass, eh?
10th Time Lord
David Tennant has now been officially named the new Doctor Who. Billie Piper is to stay on as the new Who companion... bring back K-9 too, please! (via Shatnerian)
Update: Better make that the 11th Time Lord. SciFiDaily explains.
Signs You Might Be a Bit Too Canadian
Signs you might be a bit too Canadian.
5. You can easily get several people near you to wax nostalgic on this same image (#4).
6. And this doesn't bother you at all (#5).
This CBC classics site explains.
Office Party
Best to go easy on the champagne at the office party (possibly nsfw banner ads).
Ann Coulter
I do not think Ann Coulter is funny or clever. Communists for Kerry turning up in a Time Magazine feature that does not get the joke... now that's funny. And rather clever of those Kerry "supporters" too (via lgf).
Protesters blast Coulter at the G.O.P. Convention in New York City last year
Arc of tyranny
Hatred as an element of the struggle; a relentless hatred of the enemy, impelling us above and beyond the natural limitations that man is heir to, and transforming him into an effective, violent, seductive and cold killing machine.
- Che Guevara
Article 303a of the Penal Code of that noted workers paradise, Cuba punishes "publicly manifested homosexuality" with three months to one year in prison. Worth remembering the next time some self-satisfied ersatz-progressive vacationer decides to wax lyrical about Cuban health care and the nastiness of the United States.
Funny how much this map of sodomy laws so closely resembles a map of "the arc of tyranny". I imagine we could produce maps for lack of reliable enforcement of property rights, lack of religious freedom and poor rates of literacy among women that would show a similar disposition of countries.
Decapitation strategy
Strategic voting takes on a more sinister/cool cast with the Liberal Democrat "decapitation" strategy aimed at unseating top Tories. It is interesting that after ten years of Labour government that people still harbour such animosity toward the Conservatives. Canadian memories of Brian Mulroney have proven to be as deep-seated.
April 16, 2005
Wendy Mesley
My next step in an ongoing effort to get Air Transat to acknowledge my attempts to contact them is the following missive to Marketplace, a CBC television consumer affairs program. As an entirely separate issue is my decades long infatuation with Wendy Mesley. She is the bomb. I am pretty much convinced she will come to my rescue.
I have been trying to get Air Transat to reply to my concerns about the safety of their aircraft for more than a month. Given that a rudder fell off one of their flights from Cuba (images linked below) and that I am scheduled to fly on one of their Airbus A310s (maybe the same A310) in May I think it would be reasonable for them to at least acknowledge my email. I have spoken with the Canadian Transportation Safety Board and they can do nothing. I believe I am not the only consumer in this situation and so I am passing the following links on to you:
Airbus A310
Air Transat update
Another Air Transat update
These are posts at my blog where I have raised the issue in the blogosphere. The site receives a quarter million page views a month. This does not mean Air Transat is prepared to answer my email but it does give me some small satisfaction.
Thank you for your consideration.
Update: I am looking for on-line video footage that will give Flea-readers outside Canada an idea of Wendy Mesley in action. She is always courteous, professional and well spoken! Some unscrupulous folks may have attempted to game search engines with mischievous expressions such as "Wendy Mesley nude" but here at the Flea it is only the high road of internet citizen journalism. Take this interesting fact, for example. Wendy Mesley's favourite book is reported to be "The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe". Good choice!
Who has not hidden at the back of a wardrobe hoping for a trip to Narnia? I had two wardrobes at my house in Manchester but both seemed to be malfunctioning (thus the Manchester part).
Update: Aha! The Marketplace website archives plenty of its segments including a piece on freecycling featuring Wendy Mesley with a parrot on her shoulder and her Buying into Sexy piece on marketing to tweens that features must-see Toronto landmark, the Dufferin Mall. I must forward that second bit to a friend of mine who is writing her doctoral dissertation on tween marketing and media. I watched part of of this piece when it was aired and, as much as I like Clifton Joseph, was disturbed by the rhetoric around women's virtue elicited by his interview with some young men.
Go get Air Transat, please!
Adonis from Chernitz
I shall leave it to Flea-readers to decide if a penis can be "short, but impressive" as this is a matter of personal preference as much as objective measurement. I am better placed to offer an opinion about ancient pornography, or rather "pornography", unearthed at Leipzig and the role of comparable predispositions in scientific analysis of archaeological remains.
And the project is becoming ever more fascinating as archeologists continue uncovering additional fragments while sifting through the Stone Age garbage pit. One fragment, which extends from the left calf to the pelvis, appears to be part of a female statue; Adonis, apparently, had a girlfriend. In fact, in an article soon to be published in the journal Germania, Staeuble speculates on how the pieces could fit together. He writes that "there is strong evidence that this is a copulation scene."
Ooh! The thought! I do not think it takes a radical postmodern turn of mind to conclude we cannot reliably write much about the the mind of the person who sculpted this early "Adonis" without taking into account the mind of the archaeologist doing the writing. Imagine for a moment these objects had been unearthed in, say, Victorian England or Afghanistan under the Taliban and it is easy to understand that perspective has quite a bit to do with interpretation. It is more difficult to see the prejudices we sensible, ostensibly less biased folks bring to our analyses of similar material. To even describe objects such as the Adonis and his friend as "pornographic" is to decide in advance that some representations should be categorized separately from others on the basis of their sexual subject matter.
In fact, to do so is to have decided that a copulation scene is primarily about sex in the first place. That this may sound ridiculous ("What else would an image of two people doing it be about if not about sex?") only shows how taken-for-granted are our ideas about the privileged, and segregated, place of sex has in contemporary thought. Some archaeologist of the far future might assume a crucifix was about torture ("What else would an image of a man being tortured be about if not torture?") and in making this assumption would have no clue about the weight of symbolism carried by such an image while being all too confident about what such an image "must" mean. There is no reason to believe we are any closer to the intent or understanding of the artist or audience for the Adonis from Chernitz. The image may have nothing to do with sex let alone the illicit fascination of "pornography".
Eco-porn
Eco-porn confuses me. Cognitive dissonance or something. It's porn therefore it is interesting. Yet it is strangely repellent at the same time.
Lost Gardens
Lost Gardens is a themed virtual tour of the collections of the British Museum. Plenty of hot Adam and Eve action!
Genesis offered some clues. Of the four rivers running out of Eden, one is named as the Euphrates, which rises in the mountains of Turkey and flows down to the Persian Gulf. Most writers placed Eden beside the Euphrates and the River Tigris in modern-day Iraq.
Air: Playground Love
Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.
Buttercouple
Are they a match?
Soulmate
This Dead Celebrity Soulmate search hooked me up with Cleopatra. Good choice (via Dodgeblogium).
"Perhaps we could have a beneficial relationship. We should arrange to meet and discuss this further. You wouldn't happen to be Roman, would you?"
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking, B2?" the first banana asks. "I think I am, B1," B2 replies. "It's Bananas in Pyjamas time!"
British Tories may have borrowed their campaign slogan from Bananas In Pyjamas, an Australian children's program.
Blairism
Anatole Kaletsky writes Blairism looks set to triumph over Thatcherism in large part because the Tories have stopped making a coherent counter argument (via the Campblog).
But what is the Tories’ response to all this? To whinge about immigrants and gypsies. The clearest evidence of the Tories’ ideological capitulation is their decision exactly to match Labour’s plans for public spending on health and education — and even to trump Mr Blair with promises of a higher basic state pension and total abolition of university top-up fees and student loans.
(Emphasis added.) This sounds all too similar to our Canadian context. A recent Conservative party policy convention demonstrated a preference for gay-baiting to offering a credible alternative government. We deserve better.
Mr. T: Mother
Now is the time at the Flea when we dance for a second time.*
*This one could not wait. Via C. Buddha... thanks!
April 15, 2005
The Paris Hilton Podcast
Paris. Hilton. Podcast. So hot. Can't breathe.
(via. 10:51am Toronto)
Winona Horowitz
Formerly Rosie waxes poetic about celebrity commodification, shoplifting and a terrific idea for the next Bond Girl.
who became a commodity too young –
a boundryless existence that every star has -
and came to realize it was all a charade
oscar nominated – hyper famous – the girl other girls wanted to be
who got swept away in the tidal wave of maddness –
celebrity in america
if winona rider was starring the the new james bond film –
we never would have heard about her stealing
Condi 2008, A Love Poem
Harry Hutton offers a paeon to Condi.
I'd love to get you in the
Oval Office, and keep you close to me.
Name your Chav baby
BBC1 put the name Britney Federline (nee Spears) into a Chav name generator to anticipate names for the forthcoming little Federline. Their results: if it is a girl it is to be Joleen Sabrina Federline and if it is a boy his Chav name would be Kyle Storm Federline.
Real life vs the internet
Real life vs the internet. Possibly not worksafe but it should be because I want it to be. Therefore it is. Because that's how it works.
Moore's Law
Intel is looking for that April 19, 1965 issue of Electronics Magazine you have kicking around.
We are looking for the April 19, 1965 issue of Electronics Magazine (contains "Moore's Law" article by Gordon Moore, Intel co-founder). $10,000 for mint condition copy! Will choose based on best condition - take good photos!
Land Walker
This Land Walker would make a fine off-road Fleamobile. And I am pretty sure we could use a scaled up version for the arsenal of blogocracy (don't miss the movies!).
April 14, 2005
Hideo Nakata
I rented Dark Water and it might be the most frightening film I have ever seen, not surprising given it was written by Koji Suzuki of Ringu fame. The direction and music were astonishing, however, so I decided to find more films by its director, also of Ringu fame, Hideo Nakata. Chaos is more Hitchcock than horror but the music and luscious, slightly damp suburban architecture of Tokyo are in the same league as Dark Water.
Channel 4 is somewhat dismissive of the region 2 Chaos dvd's inclusion of Curse, Death And Spirit as a nod to Nakata completists. Pre-Googling, I could not tell you what "pink eiga" cinema might be but I would be just as happy to have the freebie. Unfortunately the region 1 version I watched did not appear to have it.
Gwen Stefani: Holla Back Girl.
Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.*
*No direct link due to webmaster sensibilities... but the video is linked in the left hand column. So, just what is a holla back girl?
its like come and talk to me again girl , or just talk to me.
Kamen-no-Kokuhaku
Yukio Mishima's student diary is thought to be an inspiration for his later novels including Confessions of a Mask. What is it with fascism and obsessive record-keeping?
The diary, written in a notebook from May 11, 1946, to Nov. 13, the following year, is titled, "Account diary." It was initially his account book, but later became a memorandum of his daily life. The diary clearly describes films he saw, railway fares, admission fees to drama theaters, prices of books he bought and the amount of money he paid for coffee he drank at a coffee shop with a friend. At the time, he was enrolled in the law department of the prestigious University of Tokyo.
Oshiro
Oshiro fits the mood I am in after watching Inugami. Mainly I want to take some time, become a henro for a couple months and do the tour of Shikoku.
Shin Gi Tai
Shin Gi Tai is a six-minute diversion by way of Blade Runner/Matrix homage. I am mainly impressed by the fact of bandwidth reaching the point where something like this can be a six-minute diversion.
RCA Victor Corporation
A demonstration of the latest in audio technology, "stereo sound" arrives courtesy of "the internet".
Old Navy tunics
Does anybody know where I can find the Old Navy "Bust A Move" tunics commercial on-line? The one time I set foot in an Old Navy the place made my skin crawl but I love the ad.
Lookin' for somethin' you can wear
On the beach so the fellas will stare
Wear it over that tiny bathing suit
And look pretty cute.
Stacked
I would like to imagine Pamela Anderson actually writes her Stacked blog but sadly I do not believe it is so. The viral marketing part works though. Obviously (via Chapel Perilous).
April 13, 2005
Another Air Transat update
After trying several numbers for Air Transat I gave up and tried Expedia.ca once again. It took another two calls but, having refused to help me the first time I contacted them, they have belatedly decided to address my concerns and contacted Air Transat for me. Sure enough, both my scheduled flights are on an Airbus A310. Let's see... Air Transat have yet to reply to two emails I sent a month ago, will not answer their telephone and have me booked on the same model aircraft that lost its entire rudder section on an Air Transat flight out of Cuba. Discount travel... you get what you pay for!
Given the lousy service I have received from Air Transat and Expedia.ca I suggest Flea readers everywhere avoid this airline and book flights through a travel agent and not Expedia.com. Expedia offers the illusion of convenience but leave you with no intermediary if anything falls off an aircraft you might be asked to fly.
Here is my latest attempt to contact Air Transat by email. Perhaps they will reply to this one.
This is my third attempt to contact you by email. I have tried to contact you by telephone and through my agent Expedia.ca. The following email was sent to this address on March 16, 2005 and you have yet to reply. I now learn through Expedia.ca and Conquest tour operators that my flight will indeed by an Airbus A310.
1 - Why have you not replied to my earlier emails?
2 - What safety checks have been carried out on the A310 I will be flying to and from Toronto? Specically, have you carried out an X-ray inspection of the tail/rudder sections of your A310 fleet in addition to visual or tap (acoustic) testing?
3 - Am I scheduled to fly on the specific aircraft that lost its tail section on a return flight from Cuba?
Yours,
Update: Time to talk to the organ grinder:
I have booked a return flight with Air Transat, a Canadian charter company that flies a fleet of Airbust A310 aircraft. As I am certain you are aware, one of these lost its rudder section on a flight from Cuba recently. I have tried repeatedly to contact Air Transat regarding their inspection procedures. Despite having written three times to Air Transat I have yet to receive any reply regarding my concerns about the safety of their aircraft. Are you aware you are selling aircraft to airlines that will not address passenger safety concerns about the A310? More importantly, why should I not cancel my flight and reschedule with an airline flying a Boeing product?
Yours,
Update: "Airbust", what an hilarious Versprechen Fehleistung! I could die laughing! Literally!
Update: So here I am searching for consumer advocate resources at the Canadian Consumer Information Gateway and guess which name comes up number five in the tourism "complaints" section. Could it be... Air Transat! If Air Transat does not offer a prompt reply my next step is a formal complaint to the Canadian Transportation Agency. Not that I expect much from a government department whose airline contact information includes JetsGo (corrected, please see below), a carrier that went bankrupt a month ago. These federal bureaucrats tell us we should always contact the airline with our complaints first. Concept. But if they do not dismiss our concerns out of hand there is always the following:
So... what possible reason would an airline that won't even answer email or the telephone have to take seriously anything your toothless "mediation techniques" have to offer? And what are your tax-payer funded salaries for exactly?
Update: Oops! I was thinking of JetsGo which went bust rather than WestJet that did not. Thanks to an eagle-eyed commenter!
Cat Bike
The Cat Bike: a motorcycle by Caterpillar. So cool. Must have. Like now. Totally.
Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)
Black Sun is another little of genius from Baz Lurhmann. Lots of good, and for me timely, advice.
Update: As Ben points out in the comments, this poem was not written by Baz Lurhmann but by Mary Schmich. Sorry my post was unclear!
Fatwa Against False Muppets
I am radically in favour of gay marriage, think the more transhuman Angelina Jolie becomes the hotter she gets and can even just barely tolerate the new Star Wars films. But this. This is taking change too far.
The Flea hereby issues a Fatwa Against False Muppets. I will see you in Hell Sesame Street producers! "C" is for "fatwa"!
My beloved blue, furry monster - who sang "C is for cookie, that's good enough for me" - is now advocating eating healthy. There's even a new song - "A Cookie Is a Sometimes Food," where Cookie Monster learns there are "anytime" foods and "sometimes" foods.
Wikibituary
Perhaps that should be "wikobituary". Just don't say wikibituary too fast or it loses its cleverness.
Guardian Unlimited reported Dworkin's death, confirmed by her agent, shortly before 1800 GMT yesterday, the first major news outlet to do so, though the correct date of her death was posted at the top of her Wikipedia biography at least 24 hours earlier.
Colonial Viper
A quarter-scale Colonial Viper rocket. Oh yes.
Bai Ling
"I’m all naked with tattoos on my body. You have to find out why when you see the movie."
Rusty Shackleford has the details (warning: extreme geek alert).
The Cock Crows at Midnight
Life in Jiangxi reports on an amateur theatrical.
Farmer: Ah my beautiful cock, I will stroke you. You have done me so much good.
Forests Forever
Ok, I have probably chopped down more trees than most people but I love forests and am quite fond of many specific individual trees. Yet Forests Forever makes me feel choppy. What, like trees don't listen to Zeppelin?
Religion in general
OxBlog critiques that don't-eat-at-McDonald's-or-you-will-become-fat documentary to the effect it can be perfectly rational to make choices that may be unwise in the long run (via Instapundit).
I agree with Oxblog's point but feel it should be extended beyond the world of documentaries for the scandalization of earnest middle-class undergraduates. While true of the puritanical organic lobby, a Supersized ethical position is also advanced by all too many Christians. Indeed, this is where the green-thinkers derive their theology in the first place. Gluttonous McDonald's visits are on a long list that includes some items mentioned once or twice in scripture such as gay sex, polycotton and women letting their hair down in church and plenty of things from cocaine to coffee which are nowhere to be found in the Bible. The notion is that some things, while pleasurable, will prevent your immortal soul from making it to heaven and that for your own good you must be prevented from enjoying them. That this makes a nonsense of free will, shows precious little faith in the free gift of Grace and that some "sins" are singled out for hysterical attention while most are ignored entirely does not bother puritans historical or contemporary. And the fact most people worship at a different altar altogether does not cross their minds at all.
April 12, 2005
Desperate housewives
Hi everybody. I am back home but realizing I am lacking the necessary oomph to post much more today. More tomorrow. In the meantime, here is something add to the file for my ongoing fascination and befuddlement with Japanese culture. So many marriages are reported to be sexless that the Guardian reports some genuinely desperate housewives have turned to Kim Myong-gan's clinic, and "sex volunteers", for assistance. The service sounds sensible but, well, clinical.
Mr Kim dismissed charges that his service was little more than a male prostitution ring. "The men volunteer and pay half the hotel and restaurant bills, so legally there is absolutely nothing wrong with it," he said.
Sic transit gloria mundi
I am on the move today so the Flea will be posted this afternoon! In the meantime, check out that 2006 Audi A3 ad in the sidebar. It's a wonder of narrative advertising intrigue and adventure!
Willow-ish
And while I am on the move you can also give some thought to single gothic/witchy types in T.O. who might like an increasingly rumpled professor. I saw a Willow-ish person yesterday who reminded me of my vanished ex and figured it was time to get over it. Spring has sprung!
April 11, 2005
Muddying the waters
This weekend I was exposed to the first sensible argument I have heard against gay marriage. The argument is simple: to change the law would be to tamper with a social convention and in so doing, "muddy the waters". I believe the argument is sensible even though I disagree with its intended conclusion that it would be best not to change the law. But I think it is reasonable to suggest that some confusion is entailed by extending the definition of marriage to include same-sex couples.
Because that is what we are doing. I have made it clear here and elsewhere that I do not acknowledge the right of any state, or indeed any church, to sanction a marriage. The "Quaker" part of that fighting Quaker tag is serious. In my belief, a marriage is created in the face of the Almighty not in registry office (post-facto blessing or no). Even so, we are talking about the government recognizing a change that has already come about and in short order most people are going to take it for granted that a marriage might refer to couples that, despite having lived together for decades, had not hitherto had the same benefits as everybody else. This is a big step and it is going to be a difficult one for some even though the issue is on the periphery of their lives. For many folks the prospect of same-sex marriage must be like watching same-sex pairs figure skating. The sensation is probably one of unheimlich Gefühl, a jarring sense of the unfamiliar in something that would normally be taken-for-granted.
One of the most confusing aspects of this debate to me is that those folks arguing against gay marriage are often people who argue vociferously for the state to stay out of private business and who seem to genuinely feel no animosity toward gay people. Yes, there are a bigoted few but this hardly accounts for the overwhelming number of otherwise sensible people who, I am quite certain, will look back on their opposition with embarrassment in the fullness of time.
Every time I have this conversation with someone struggling to articulate why their gut is telling them other folks should be prevented from doing something that, whatever their particular beliefs, harms nobody the same arguments are proposed. Marriage, I am told, is about reproduction. Or it is about the will of God. Or it is about nature. Or it is about history and tradition. Each of these arguments can be dismissed in turn by rudimentary logic and observation of the marriages of Michael Jackson or Britney Spears so it occurs to me that something more basic is in play.
Here is the problem. Even Britney Spears admits her overnight Vegas wedding was a farce but it was a real wedding in the eyes of the law. If marriage can include everybody from infertile couples to couples at the registry office who may one day be King and Queen or couples who are planning to add an extra wife or two if they can get Utah to go back to the old faith (that would be the seriously traditional form of marriage) we are talking about an institution whose definition may be set in law but whose intentions, aspirations and religious underpinnings are extremely flexible.
What happens when folks come along who say that marriage is about two people loving each other and forming a bond that entails commitment and obligations to one another? Gay marriage is not the source of confusion but it certainly highlights some serious confusions. Think of all those people arguing against gay marriage but who do not intend to have children themselves. Or those who argue gay marriage is against their particular religious law but shy at the idea of having to ask the province of Ontario for an annulment. Or who argue that marriage is about the union of one man and one woman even as they head for their second divorce because of infidelity. Or who want to defend a tradition that in not so distant times meant a proposal had legal standing because women could not hold most jobs, let alone vote, and needed to be protected from the various scoundrels of the world. If a revised definition of marriage was to limit its scope to loving commitment there are many, many people who might have cause to reflect on their own behaviour.
Talk about muddying the waters.
An attack on religious freedom
Speaking at an anti-equality rally on Parliament Hill Stephen Harper, the man who may be Canada's next Prime Minister, described gay marriage legislation as an "attack on religious freedom".
Speaking for everyone who worships an octopus-faced alien who will soon rise and eat us all I resent Harper's capricious definition of religious freedom as everybody who agrees with Stephen Harper. Despite what should be a PR coup arising from the exposure of massive criminality and corruption in the federal Liberal party, Harper and all too many of his supporters are busy doing their level best to remind us Conservative policy stands for the imposition of some religious views at the expense of others. Harper has made it clear he will not stand for all Canadians and it is therefore impossible for me to consider him or his party as an alternative government. To those Christians whose faith is circumscribed by animosity toward what other people get up to and think that morality can be legislated I want to remind you of the many, many Christians - and people of other faiths - who think differently. Respect for equality before the law is the real Canadian value that needs to be defended.
G, G, Tea
Vegas wedding aside, I do not understand why people are so mean to Britney Spears. Also, a reminder to Japanese firms that the Flea stands ready to endorse your product and/or service!
Zero emissions cargo ship
Gizmodo features a zero emissions cargo ship by Scandinavian design firm Wallenius Wilhelmsen. The design is alarmingly close to the specifications for the Flea's floating university and casino.
Sea Kings
Paul Couvret, a former Sea King Air engineer officer, comments on the role of Sea Kings in the Australian Defence Forces. While it is dismaying that nine members of the ADF should have died in a recent Sea King accident there is something vaguely reassuring that the Canadian armed forces are not the only people faced with this situation.
But we don't need to get too sentimental about them; they are only machines, assets that need to be managed. Certainly we'd like to hold on to them if we can. Very few other aircraft have the range, carrying capacity or overwater capabilities of the Sea King. Certainly not the Sea Hawk, which is much smaller inside.
April 09, 2005
Caspar Milquetoast
So that is where the expression "milquetoast" comes from (via comment at SondraK and go read Jeff).
drum|head
Recent events have given me cause to think about a living will. What to do with my consciousness when my mortal frame stops working properly? An arrangement along these lines would be cool even if Gary Numan was not some sort of demigod in human form.
Dance floor
Time to have a First East Disco Dance Floor installed at Flea Mansions.
The video show off the dance floor but the full effect could only be achieved with some of my stylin' dance moves.
Stealth disco inferno
Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.
Raymi newbies
Newcomers to her blog don't "get" the Raymi.
She took the words right out of my mouth. Except most of my flak comes from teenage monarchists writing tracts under a pseudonym from their parents' basement. They aren't old enough to own their own tea kettles and lack that flexible quality needed for feng shui. No wait, I am thinking of tai chi.
Virgin Galactic
Virgin Galactic expects to take customers into orbit in 30 months (via A.E.Brain).
Brain of a Blogger
Blogging is good for your health.
Fool the media
It turns out there is a lot of nonsense on "the internet". Not that this stops the mainstream media from reporting just about anything. Remember this the next time the establishment media dismisses the blogosphere. Or vice versa.
Over the past few months, we conducted a series of experiments to find out what kind of half-baked ideas could we get reported as actual news?
In the pot-meet-kettle department, I reported a Creation Science Fair the other day that I was fully convinced was legitimate. My ass was duly fact checked.
April 08, 2005
The Old Negro Space Program
Like me, you may never have heard of the "Old Negro Space Program". Ken Burns has so much to answer for (via KiP).
Willy Wonka
The teaser trailer meets every expectation of words combined to say "Tim Burton" and "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory".
Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch
"Reasons why I love the Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch." Hmm. Some reasons. The ad.
I close my eyes for a big surprise the tender crisp bacon cheddar ranch
The Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch is tempting but will remain a mystery to me for as long as I stay on the Paris Hilton Diet for my keep fit regimen.
BK 911
Well, you may not think it's a hamburger emergency. While I expect this is an American 911 call, this is exactly the sort of slack attitude to the defense of liberty we have seen in Canada these last few days that means Canadian democracy is about to collapse.*
*Yes, I am poking fun.
(hat tip to the Flea's dromology consultant).
VisitorVille
VisitorVille is a neat looking web statistics program that represents traffic Sim-style. Does anyone have any reviews to offer?
PookMail
Pook, a gremlin dear to my heart, has thoughtfully loaned his name to PookMail.
The Language Game
At the end of term, I do not know if I have the brain wattage to master Niccan.
Niccan is perfectly regular. Unlike real languages, there are no exceptions or irregularities. A rule you learn in one context will apply in another context; if it doesn't that means you don't understand the rule correctly.
Federal sponsorship scandal
Now the Jean Brault testimony is (for the most part) out in the open it is worth asking about the original purpose of the sponsorship program. I believe this is particularly important given that the Bloc Québecois looks set to make gains at the expense of the federal Liberal party, even to the point of sweeping Québec seats. Last night a CBC piece quoted someone as saying the scandal had damaged the voice of federalism and made it difficult to "make the case for Canada" in Québec.
Why?
Why is the Liberal party synonymous with Canada in Québec? Or anywhere else? We can blame the particularities of Québec politics but having dated a Newfoundlander I can assure you it is impossible to breath the word Québec without a lecture on Newfoundland nationalism. I have heard some of the same from Alberta and would be least surprised of all if British Columbia decided to go its own way. So it seems to me nationalism is not the problem whether it be of the Canadian or specific regional variety.
The problem is rather the idea that the Liberal party should stand as the sword and the arm of confederation. Where are the alternate voices of federalism in Québec? Where is the NDP? Where are the Conservatives? The question we should be asking ourselves is how with all we are learning about Liberal corruption that the only other port in the storm for Québecois(e) is a sovereigntist party lead by an ex-Marxist. Jack Layton and Stephen Harper are making a pathetic showing of it and nobody seems to notice. Or is it that for all too many socialists nodding their heads in agreement to any claim of victimhood, or for all too many conservatives with a grudge against the French, that Québec is no longer a part of Canada worth fighting for.
John Gomery
It is possible the leak of information subject to a publication ban influenced the decision for the raising of that ban yesterday. On the other hand, it is possible that ban would have been lifted in any event either due to the postponement of the trials for which it was put in place or its lack of relevance to those trials. Either way, a publication ban does not a dictatorship make. That few, that hyperventilating few, that band of bloggers who equated the ban with all sorts of offensive nonsense about dictatorship should now get to work changing the law they claim so much to dislike. I doubt they will bother. I doubt even more they shall offer Justice John Gomery the apology he deserves from them.
George Stroumboulopoulos
And speaking of apologies, I owe one to George Stroumboulopoulos. I made recent reference to his borification by the CBC in his transition from Much Music vj to Newsworld chat show host. Either he has found his stride or I have gotten over my preconceptions. Not only does he give good interview but he presents perspectives on Canadian politics that have few venues in the mainstream media. I will never forget his asking the question about regime change in Iran. It is a question our political and media establishments should be asking and do not.
April 07, 2005
The next James Bond
CNN announced the choice of Daniel Craig to be the next James Bond this morning. It turns out they have jumped the gun. So who knows if they is anything to this Daisy Scarlett story.
From Russia With Love
Sean Connery is to reprise his role as James Bond (but don't get too excited).
Gwen Stefani
Some people think the breath-taking, goddess-like Gwen Stefani is a fake. A fake what, exactly? These people should do their research.
Harajuku
Flickr has lots of photos tagged harajuku for people with an ethnographic interest.
Juliet: Avalon
Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.
Superhero China youths
Ashley Benigno lead me to Cao Fei's willfully alienated superhero China youths.
HeroMachine 2
The Flea... and his fighting sidekick Puck! Brought to you by HeroMachine!
(via Moonbatologist Claire and SondraK)
The Geek is in the Details
Andrew Clarke describes readings of fiction that are either so literal or so symbolic that they exclude some part of a story's reality. And Han Solo shot first, by the way.
On the other side of this are the 'symbolists': that strange breed to whom the worth of a story lies only in it's relation to the real world. Hobbits ARE the rural communities of Pre-Victorian England. The Architect IS the creator god. The purpose of a story is to comment upon the outside world. It has no reality of its own. So it's really not important if some detail is changed, as long as the metaphor holds. After all, the story is always ultimately just a shadow-play. None of it is real.
The literalists are children, incapable of looking deeper into a story or dealing with the real world, in extreme cases functionally indistinguishable from certain types of autism sufferers ... . The symbolists are cynics with no imagination and hearts made out of a bloody patchwork of all the tiny fairies' hearts that they refused to believe in.
Hawk the Slayer
Hawk the Slayer... gahh! I forgot this movie existed. Jack Palance at the top of his form.
April 06, 2005
AdScam reality check
On July 5, 1993, a publication ban was issued in relation to the prosecution of Paul Bernardo for the kidnapping, torture, rape and murder of young women in southern Ontario. The ban was controversial at the time as people were uncertain of its efficacy even in the early days of the internet, questioned the wisdom of keeping secrets from the public and anxious to undertand details of a case that were so traumatic for society in general.
But that was not the only reason people wanted access to details of Bernardo's crimes. For some the trial was a grotesque source of entertainment. Googling the names of Bernardo and his then wife, Karla Homolka I see that ten years later there are websites purporting to sell trial transcripts as pornography. Leaving aside the intrinsic outrage of such behaviour I try to imagine for a moment what this must mean for the families of Bernardo and Homolka's victims. It is an intolerable thought.
Over the last few days the Canadian blogosphere and mainstream media have been in knots over another publication ban this time related to massive fraud and political corruption. Once again the ban has proved controversial and once again it is in place to ensure a fair trial. For everyone who has argued for the lifting of the ban I ask this question: how many people seriously believe those men offering testimony to the Gomery Commission are innocent of the crimes for which they are charged? Frankly, had that thought even crossed your mind?
Because that is how our system of justice works. Those men are innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. Unless and until you would prefer another standard of guilt I suggest you give that thought some consideration before pointing fingers about the imminent collapse of democracy in this country. Justice Gomery is no fan of the Liberal government or its last incarnation under Jean Chretien. He is doing his job and in so doing he is defending our democracy. This is not the Bernardo trial. The publication ban was always intended to be a short-lived affair to recognize a conflict with trials that were to begin in early May. In fact, I expect the ban will be lifted in whole or in part later today. But even if it is not, even if the internet and alternative offshore blog news sources did not exist at all, all of that testimony would have been made public in due course. This is no dictatorship but the democracy we have made for ourselves. Jean Brault's testimony and the rest that is to follow is no Bernardo trial evidence to be kept under lock and key forever but in one respect public reaction to the two publication bans is comparable. For some the right to a fair trial is trumped by rubber-necking, political opportunism and puerile attention seeking.
Do I think the publication ban is misguided? Perhaps. I am swayed by arguments the whole proceedings should have been held in camera. This would reduce the likelihood of a two-tier society where political insiders and establishment media imagine they know what is going on while the rest of us labour in ignorance. It would certainly have spared us the unedifying spectacle of the last few days. Instead of stumbling over ourselves to break the law in the spirit of adolescent rebellion I suggest we give some thought to changing the law. A less deferential society is one I think most Canadians would like to see and with the internet I believe we are going to see it whether we want it or not.
Don't blame them for my conclusions but by all means take a look at Babbling Brooks, Andrew Coyne and Gen-X at 40 for an alternative to the histrionics.
Update: I had the wrong date for the Homolka trial publication ban, now corrected.
What we knew that you didn't
Well... lots, actually.
Judging by the spike in traffic at Canadian weblogs across the board... welcome new Flea-readers! In fact, welcome to the blogosphere. For reasons that should be obvious I have not been specific about some things we bloggers knew that you did not let alone when or how we knew what we did. Suffice to say that blogging is a medium that operates well within the news cycle of anybody in an old media context. Look, we bloggers love newspapers and radio and television... all of it. In fact, we love news so much we write, edit and publish our own media. Sometimes we even make news ourselves.
The Flea gets political when I am feeling cranky but mainly features pop culture and an ongoing paeon to Kylie Minogue's assets. This may not sound like a likely place to keep up to date with, say, pulling something out of my hat at random, events surrounding testimony to a criminal inquiry and I would not dream of publishing anything to do with the magic words Gomery, AdScam, Brault or "Belinda Stronach nude". But the point is not just what I publish or don't publish. It is the fact this blog is connected to the biggest, baddest, fastest fact-checking network humanity has yet to devise. Seriously. Bookmark some blogs and keep reading us after current events become less current. There is always something new on the way that the CBC won't find out about for a week or so after we have linked it, written about it, commented on it and moved the conversation on to the next place.
For any old media types out there, the Flea attracts a quarter-million page views a month. Give me a column or a radio spot and give some of those Flea-readers happy a reason to stop browsing the internet for a few minutes!
Touch my bum
Enough news drama. Let's have another look at the Cheeky Girls' classic Cheeky Song. Ahh, Romania! You have so much to answer for!*
*("You ended that sentence with a preposition...bastard! - Colonel Jack o'Neil... that's "so much for which to answer". I think.)
Liebe ist
Nena of 99 Luftballoons fame has a new single, Liebe ist. Beautiful Atrocities tells us is #4 in Austria. Mir ist schwindelig!
Austrian greetings
Gerhard Gelbmann offers first impressions of "once-so-gorgeous-but-still-in-use" Austrian greetings and thoughts on how not to be a good guest in Austria.
Lego Ziggurat
The daughter of the Commissar has finished her Lego Ziggurat project with a little help from her father.
YaGoohoo!gle
YaGoohoo!gle is a great solution for nosey, impatient people such as, for example, me. It is interesting to note this blog is number four for the word "flea" at Google but number one at Yahoo!.
April 05, 2005
Leaked information
Let's see... let's see... how does this go? "Gomery Commission", "leaked testimony", AdScam, Jean Brault, "Jean Brault testimony", "publication ban", "publication ban blog" and "Belinda Stronach nude". Yep, that covers some of the most popular search terms for Ghost of a flea!
This just in: Air Transat fly planes and the tails fall off... more to follow!
Plus: doesn't Peter MacKay discussing the "explosive" contents of testimony with a CBC reporter in the corridors of Parliament constitute a violation of the publication ban? Don't the farcical blurred images of an American blog that must not be named in the same CBC broadcast render the court order an exercise in futility? Can we confidently say this ban will be lifted as soon as tomorrow?
Vampire bat
The words "vampire bat" and "galloping gait" are a bit unnerving when put together in the same sentence (via Chapel Perilous). Don't miss the video!
Vampire bats' thirst for blood has driven them to evolve an unexpected sprinting ability. Most bats are awkward on the ground, but the common vampire bat can bound along at more than 1 metre per second.
The Reaper
Gatorade Propel might invoke lightning bolts to keep back the Reaper but I doubt it would work against, say, the Nazgul or worse yet Frank Frazetta's Death Dealer.
Ribby the Rhino
Life as a rhinocerous lifeguard is not so easy as you might think. Note how I managed to work "rhino" into my pop reportage.
The Doors
The Doors is yet another infuriating puzzle game I am no good at.*
*I ended a sentence with a preposition! ("Bastard!" - Col. Jack O'Neil). Ok, Another infuriating puzzle game at which I am no good. I think that's it. Yes.
Napoleon Numa Numa
In case your co-workers are not quite ready yet to strangle you with your mouse-cord, I present this rendition of Napoleon Dynamite and the Numa Numa song.
Jane Wiedlin
For all your Jane Wiedlin information needs.
Daft Punk: Robot Rock
Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.
Instant spells
I have been working on Flea brand-stretching plans and should have come up with this instant spell dealio Madame Fared came up with on my own.
The Instant Spells that I will perform for you are listed below. A small donation of $13.13 is required to activate the Spell. These Spells I will perform to bring back a lover or mate, to give you needed luck in gambling or games or or to bring a specified amount of money if you are in need.
Tokyo Plastic
Hikikomori: Tokyo Plastic... the trailer. I have no idea what this is about but it looks cool. No, wait. Here we go.
I resemble that remark!
April 04, 2005
Publication ban
In the latest twist on testimony rumours, PolSpy reports someone tried to post information subject to the publication ban of the Gomery Commission to the comments section of his blog. At least one PolSpy reader, Peace, order and good government, eh? claims the same thing at his blog.
I avoid this sort of thing by a spam/idiot filtering comments function but have banned the IP address regardless. As I have been recently reminded, some folks regard blog comment to be a free speech issue. It is not.*
This is a private publication and nothing is printed here without my permission. Anyone attempting to circumvent a court order and in so doing placing others in the way of criminal prosecution is not welcome here whatever I may or may not think of the merits of the court order. It seems to me that whoever attempted to publish testimony subject to the Gomery Commission's publication ban is not only breaking the law but, in attempting to implicate others in so doing, is almost certainly open to a variety of criminal charges.
*This was awkwardly worded. Blog publishing is a free speech issue. Posting comments to someone else's blog is not. You have the right to send a letter to the New York Times but they are not violating your rights if they do not publish it. In the old pre-internet days your brilliant, incisive letter might vanish unless you took the time to start your own newspaper. In the blogosphere, if you have something to say you can publish it yourself at your own website. That is the beauty of the medium.
Ginger and Fishcakes
Ginger and Fishcakes were the ship's cats of the battle cruiser HMS Hood in the 1930s. Though being one of the ship's cats is not quite so dramatic as being the ship's wallaby...
Unfortunately, beyond a handful of old photos and a few surviving contemporary accounts, very little detailed information exists on most of these animals. Indeed, it is impossible to determine the exact numbers, types and even names of most of these special crew members. Of the known animals, there are four in particular, which are either well documented, or stand-out from the rest- "Joey" the wallaby, "Bill" the dog, plus "Ginger" and "Fishcakes" the cats.
The inevitable speculation is whether His Majesty's feline navy was aboard the Hood the day she was sunk. One internet source suggests Fishcakes may have been redeployed prior to the sorry event.
Enjoying his Finest Hour in those days was Fishcakes, a feline with the usual nine lives - perhaps together with that 'sixth sense', which many owners attribute to their cats. As ship's mascot aboard HMS Hood, Fishcakes ruled the waves until, unnoticed one day, he slipped aboard a fuel tanker lying alongside his battleship home. It was a curious act, because never before had he shown the slightest interest in jumping ship. The following day, however, Hood was sunk with much loss of life. Had Fishcakes glimpsed the future?
Zero
A variety of mascots served the United States with honour during the War.* I am particularly impressed by Salvo's service in the air and by the mascot submariners pictures aboard USS Thresher. The United States Coast Guard had many of note... though a more recent penguin stands out. Sinbad may have been most famous of all though he looks a bit like Triumph in this photo. The cutest WWII mascot hands down has to be Zero when he came aboard the USS Washington BB56 as a puppy.
*And much earlier, "Is there a cat in one of the Monitor’s cannon barrels?"
TacJammer rules ok
Frustration, thy name is trackback spam! This is to thank TacJammer once again for helping me with my bloggish difficulties. When Russ Blog Installantion Inc. is in business it will be the place to go.
Orc Siege
My favourite part of this Orc Siege game are the Quebecois accented instructions... c'est charmant, agréable! The chief orc so kicked me ass.
Thalķa: Arrasando
Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.*
*Canada sux! I'm moving to Mexico! This blast of raw life-force arrives courtesy of Beautiful Atrocities where Jeff has only listened to it about a hundred bizillion times. And from Spain by way of the comments to the same post I salvaged a link to 7:35 in the morning, a neat little film by Nacho Vigalondo. You will be singing along with the chorus (or else) even if, like me, you do not speak Spanith. Err... Spanish.
Health warnings
Some obnoxious, paternalistic tobacco health warnings courtesy of the European Union. So when we start seeing food packages with pictures of fat/skinny/scurvy-ridden people or automobile paint-jobs detailed with crash scene photographs?
This makes me want to solicit tobacco ads for the Flea.
Wordnews
Wordnews is a simple, graphical representation of the news.
Mano Cornuto
Are these politicians Satanists or is it a mere co-incidence these folks are making a blatantly Satanic gesture, hmmm?
Rhino Party
Enough is enough. Sane people have nobody to vote for come the next federal election. If that means doing the job ourselves then so be it. So, what would it take for me to stand as the independent Rhino Party candidate for Trinity-Spadina? I always liked the idea of being able to coast from coast to coast and think it is high-time we declared war on Belgium and annexed the United States (though not in that order).
I am going to need lawyers, guns and money. Well, lawyers and money. And lawn signs.
Now off to look at the rules for official party status...
Ratting and re-ratting
I have been watching Conservative reaction to this weekend's events regarding the "Gomery Commission", "Sponsorship Program" and rumoured Jean Brault testimony. Here is what I think is going to happen. I think the Conservatives will see an opportunity to take the prize without moderating any of the lunatic voices in their midst. Typical. I think the Liberals will see the writing on the wall and some close, close friends will be thrown to the lions. Also typical. In fact, I think enough dear friends will be thrown to the lions that Canadians will once again look at the alternative and decide, like me, that they would rather take the Liberal devil they know than the socon deep blue sea. The Liberals will not deserve to win the next election but the Conservatives will certainly deserve to lose it.
Following the recent Conservative Party of Canada policy convention some positions that had been up in the air have landed with a resounding thud. Or thump. For some of us the outcome of that convention meant we could not support the party in good conscience. But for some of the party faithful it does not matter what policy is advanced provided the party win the day. Well, I am not one of those people. I could care less which political party is in power provided we get the best government possible. In the meantime I am delighted and honoured to find myself in the company of Sean McCormick and Jay Currie. As Jay put it to me in an email we will have the luxury of a 360° field of fire for the next election.
That, apparently, is not good enough for some folk in the Canadian blogosphere. While I wish them all luck I cannot say I have much patience for their vexation. If you are so disposed to vote Conservative for no better reason than it is your political tribe I cannot see what separates you from the Liberal hacks in power now. Seriously, is a country governed by a Conservative in the pay of Power Corp. any different than a country run by a Liberal in the pay of Power Corp.? Call me when we have Magna money at the helm.
There, that should annoy the right people.
All of this has given me cause to wonder why so many would choose party affiliation over what they believe to be right. Perhaps they do not have many convictions to fight for beyond the prospect of a tax cut and the hell with anyone's rights but their own. I do not see anything conservative, or liberal, in that attitude. I have also had cause to think of at least one politician who was condemned by lesser men for crossing the floor. I am no Winston Churchill but I cannot think of a better model of conviction in the face of small-minded expediency.
Update: The Liberal party has reportedly asked the RCMP to investigate if the Liberals were... wait for it... this is a good one... victims of fraud. Now that is a thing of beauty. (hat tip to the Flea's beer expert)
Update: Mader Blog considers if NealeNews was in violation of the publication ban.
Colby Cosh weighs in.
History in the making too
I had posted links to Canadian and American blogosphere reaction to rumoured violations of a Gomery Commission "sponsorship scandal" publication ban but am now uncertain if even naming a specific American blog, let alone linking to it, is in violation of the ban. I will update this post pending the outcome of rumoured contempt of court charges. If CTV, the Globe and Mail and The Sun are all avoiding the name of the blog in question it seems wise for me to follow suit. Welcome to Canada, eh!
The American blog, being promoted by an all-news Canadian website, boasts that "Canada's Corruption Scandal Breaks Wide Open" and promises more to come. The owner of the Canadian website refused to comment yesterday.
AdScam inquiry spokesman Francois Perreault expressed shock at the publication ban breach, and said commission co-counsel Bernard Roy and Justice John Gomery will decide today whether to charge the Canadian website owner with contempt of court.
(via Daimnation! and The Tiger in Winter)
Update: Being American in T.O. argues against the publication ban describing CTV as wimps for pulling a news article they had posted to their website saying that any crimes committed render all Canadian tax-payers plaintiffs.
Something that has hit me over the last year is that there really does seem to be a difference between Americans and Canadians in relation to authority, the role of government and freedom of expression. My main disagreement with the Gomery Commission publication ban is the lack of clarity we face with respect to hyperlinks and internet publication. It is difficult to obey the law when we do not know if, despite acting in good faith, we are breaking it. As it stands, I believe the publication ban will be lifted at the end of the week.
Air Transat update
On March 16 I learned that the rudder of an Air Transat flight had fallen off. This lead me to write the company asking if they were planning to use an Airbus A310 on my upcoming flight to England, home and beauty. The company has yet to acknowledge my email let alone address my question and concerns. I have, therefore, written a letter of complaint to my travel agent, Expedia.ca.
I welcome suggestions from Flea-readers about further avenues of complaint. In the meantime I have this suggestion: don't fly Air Transat. At least one of their planes had half its tail section fall off and they cannot be bothered to answer your mail once they have your money.
Update: Expedia.ca replies. Their slogan: "Now we're getting somewhere!" My slogan: Thanks for nothing!
As you requested the contact number for Air Transat is 1-800-388-5836. We hope this helps.
April 03, 2005
Gaby Chrétien
As part of my ongoing series the Flea Presents Great Canadians™, I present friends and relations of our governing Liberal party (timeline and diagram here).
Here is an interesting fact: Gabriel Chrétien (Gaby to his friends), brother to former Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chrétien, has a very low profile on "the internet". I can infer from this article about former Deputy PM Sheila Copps, that M Chrétien is now 88 years old. C'est magnifique!
Next up: Paul Desmarais... collect them all! Trade them with your friends!
April 02, 2005
Sponsorship scandal
Update: Daimnation! reports contempt of court charges are now being considered against a major Canadian newsfilter. I am going to follow Damian Penny's caution and remove any mention of the name of the blog reported to have posted materials possibly subject to the publication ban. Welcome to Canada, folks.
***
And thanks to "the internet", a publication ban on testimony to the Gomery Commission is not terribly effective. Canadian readers should be advised that republication of internet rumours may be in violation of a court order. Remember: people may read your blog and you may not be as anonymous as you imagine or might like. This blog is published in the United States but I am still keeping my head down.
It is beginning to look to me that the Liberal Party of Canada has more to worry about than remaining in power. If comprehensive, wide-ranging criminal charges are not laid soon and all the way to the top of this thing we may be looking at the collapse of the federal party for a generation. And if that happens we may be at the mercy of the fundamentalists who have taken control of the Conservative Party of Canada in which case I say with no irony, "May God help us all."
Please note: comments are closed on this post and I will delete any comments that make reference to rumoured details potentially in violation of the publication ban (Update: comments are now open to discuss legal issues in relation to the publication ban). I know this will sound hinky to my American readers but the order is in place to protect the right to a fair trial of people who might otherwise not have testified. It is "truth, justice and the American Way" south of the border. Our version is "peace, order and good government" which mostly works excepting that last part.
Small Dead Animals has more here, here and here.
Update: It is an education watching how different blogs are addressing the issue of the publication ban (linked above). Some folks are offering rhyming couplets to lead people to American blogs, others are linking to links to American blogs and some are linking to specific American blogs directly. Some are not linking to anything but discussing details of what they have read (surely that is a violation of the publishing ban...) and at least one Canadian blogger I have seen is republishing material posted to an American blog saying the material is all rumour and he therefore has no way of knowing it has any relationship to testimony subject to the publication ban. Gen-X at 40 offers the following:
I am not a lawyer so I would appreciate thoughts on the status of linking in relation to this publication ban. I have specifically avoided publishing any rumoured details to respect the Commission's ruling but am mildly concerned at a situation where people are avoiding linking to material that may or may not be out there on the internet. This blog is published using software and storage on a server in the United States. I do not see how someone accessing a blog on an American server from, say, Singapore and following a link to it elsewhere in the States can in any way be subject to a Canadian court order. That said, if someone can offer me an explanation of how doing so might contravene the publishing ban I will consider removing the linked material.
Enlightenment, please!
Update: I do not think this was Kate's intention but she has posted a Canadian flag I could fully endorse...
Gen-X at 40 argues linking may be construed as indexing and indexing is publishing. This strikes me as a bit convoluted but he be lawyering and I do not know my rear from my elbow with this stuff. Fair warning to gratuitous linkers of material banned under Canadian court orders!
Speaking of gratuitous linkers... the definitive link round-up on developments to the sponsorship scandal is at Bound by Gravity.
Update: Winds of Change blogs the story. Silent Running warns against clicking for unCanadian values, eh?
John Paul II
BBC News, "World reaction to death of Pope"
CBC News, "John Paul II:One of the very last truly great ones"
Deutsche Welle, "John Paul II Leaves His Mark on Europe"
Financial Times, "Pope John Paul II’s legacy of paradox"
Globe and Mail, "Showman, mystic, philosopher"
Jerusalem Post, "Israel expresses 'deep sorrow' upon Pope's passing"
MSNBC, "Taking shelter in Christ"
National Post, "Chronology of the life of Pope John Paul"
Reuters, "Pontificate of John Paul: The statistics"
Salon, "Compassionate conservative"
SwissInfo, "Poles mourn the passing of their moral guide"
The Telegraph, "Your view: Tributes to the Pope"
Times of London, "A titan of our times"
U.S. Newswire, "American Jewish Committee Mourns Pope John Paul II"
Washington Post, "A Modern Man Who Changed the Papacy"
Wired News, "Pope Championed Communism's Collapse, Mideast Peace"
Amazing Race
Damian finds it is still possible to be annoyed with Rosie O'Donnell now he learns she is blogging. But not just blogging... poetry blogging. Yet I find it impossible to believe Damian is not drawn to the project on some level. Take this Amazing Race themed poem, for example.
just flipped the jeep
my adorable gay boys
alex and lynn stop
of course
as rob and amber drive on
“i hope the aren’t hurt”
he says - which is sincere
i believe
but the concept of stopping – no way
don’t be ridiculous
I should warn Flea-readers everywhere that reading this fills me with an insane urge to start poetry blogging, say, The Apprentice.
Unsolicited commercial love story
A mystery of unsolicited commercial love is resolved thanks to the mystery that is "the internet".
Advertecture
While I do not believe this H&M ad flatters the Flatiron Building I love the word "advertecture" (via Gawker). I am considering a new source of revenue for Flea Towers...
Chemical Brothers: Elektrobank
Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.
Choccy
Who loves the chocolate? Everyone loves the chocolate. Nobody hates the chocolate.
(via Zacht Ei)
But does the Force work for penalties...
Apparently the trick to Jedi training is a little footie.
And he says Canadian Hayden Christensen - who plays Anakin Skywalker - juggles the ball so well that he shows the British cast and crew a thing or two.
I doubt that. It had not occurred to me that Darth Vader is Canadian. But then these new "Star Wars" films are an abomination in the eyes of the Almighty. Honestly, that people should get worked up about gay marriage and say nothing in the face of the heresiarch, George Lucas is mind-boggling to me. That goes double for the Timothy Dalton Bond films and the ruination of Andromeda after season two.
Peanut!!!
Peanut!!! is a masterpiece of web-gamery. Not that I am particularly good at it. But it is nice to find something that translates into a concrete off-line life-skill.
Desperately seeking Kylie
It's me! It's me! Ok, not really.
(hat tip to SondraK)
Scooter VS Kylie Minogue
This is the first time I have seen a mash-up peformance. Terrifying.
How to steal from McDonald's
The Chomsky quote stands out in this "humorous, just for entertainment article" describing tactics for stealing from McDonald's but I am most intrigued to learn you can fit seven pound coins in an empty creamer.
Much more reading material is available at the McDonald's Workers Resistance.
Virtual property
There is a grim irony in being stabbed to death for stealing a virtual sword. I am curious how Canadian police would react if presented with the same theft of virtual property.
"Legend of Mir 3" features heroes and villains, sorcerers and warriors, many of whom wield enormous swords. Qiu and a friend jointly won their weapon last February, and lent it to Zhu who then sold it for 7,200 yuan (464 pounds), the newspaper said.
April 01, 2005
New Who too
The ninth and latest Dr. Who has yet to be broadcast in Canada and already we learn Christopher Eccleston will not return to the roll. The Times of London reports David Tennant is in negotiations to replace him. He looks the part but how are we meant to get through new Who trauma knowing we are to lose Eccleston as soon as we get to like him? This would be easier to take if I knew Richard E. Grant or Alan Cummings was on the way.
The 41-year-old actor, worried that he may become typecast, has called time on his occupancy of the Tardis. “The audience’s response to the new Dr Who has been incredible. I’m very proud to be part of it and I hope viewers continue to enjoy the series,” he said.
The decision will be a blow to writer Russell T. Davies and to the BBC, who yesterday announced a new £10 million series and Christmas special.
Those bloody people
I am not in favour of the monarchy in principle but am basically in favour of the monarchy in practice. And as for "those bloody people" (amazing BBC snapshot there, btw) I believe Prince Charles has said nothing but what many of us are thinking.
"I don't think this was an accident, I think that the Prince wanted to make a point. The Klosters photocall is an annual Royal event which the Royals undertake grudgingly but usually in good humour. But Charles was angry that paparazzi photographers yesterday took pictures of Kate Middleton, Prince William's current girlfriend. I think these comments came as a result of that anger," he said.
Lecture Musical
While I cannot say my students treated me to a Lecture Musical this year I must say that on the whole the life of a university lecturer is a good one. And for future reference to lurking students... this is an excellent, excellent idea! Much more at the Prangstgrüp video archive.
The Seebach Band: Apache
Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.
Knight Moves Problem
Being lousy at math and generally preferring to jump in without thinking too much it took me 70 moves to solve this knight moves problem.
Update: 65 moves... getting better...
ˇi˛ek wedding photos
I will not bother trying to beat this Gawker comment on the theory-star wedding of Slavoj ˇi˛ek.
Alien Loves Predator
Alien loves Predator. I had always suspected as much. But can they marry in Ontario? Well. Probably, yes. I especially like the Alien's mom.
Bible Wars & Weapons
Bible Wars & Weapons is part of the somewhat sinister sounding 2:52 Soul Gear™ collection (via the Flea's HR expert).
Filled with cool maps that show sites of battle and illustrations of army units, boys learn about tons of cool equipment and the armor used during that time. This is action and adventure at its best—straight from the pages of the Bible.
Gospel of Judas
Recent carbon-dating reveals a papyrus manuscript of the Gospel of Judas to date to the 3rd or 4th century.
The 62-page papyrus manuscript of the text was uncovered in Egypt during the 1950s or 1960s, but its owners did not fully comprehend its significance until recently, according to the Maecenas Foundation in Basel.
Dating to Save
Dating to save people from Hell... calling all hot women of the Lord.
Modest apparel
Lydia of Purple may offer modest homeschooling Christian clothing website but has registered a somewhat immodest url. There is some Shameless Flaunting of Block Caps too.
I like the idea of modest swimwear (not without at least some historical precedents!) and have been after a stripey men's Edwardian bathing costume for Flea-ish recreational pursuits by the sea.