May 31, 2005
myData = myMondrian
Deconstructing Roy Lichtenstein
Deconstructing Roy Lichtenstein compares the Pop artist's work to its original sources.
Gonzo cannon
Johnny Depp is generously footing the bill for a Gonzo fist tower to ensure a decent send-off for Hunter S. Thompson.
During the ceremony, Thompson's ashes will be fired from a cannon at the top of the tower onto his Colorado ranch.
Jew B. & Milky Whyte: Tarzan Rubberband
Now is the time at the Flea when we dance though I am not entirely certain why. Possibly not safe for work if you are concerned about what your colleagues might say about the kind of websites you are frequenting. There is also the risk of singing along.
Skyscraper comparisons
A scale-comparison elevation plan chart of proposed, visionary and fantasy skyscrapers needs a bigger monitor to enjoy properly. I wonder when 7 South Dearborn is going to get its act together. And it is satisfying to note the "mixed used" Minas Tirith in the list at 304m.
Pile Of Guilt
Kid Dork of Sean Twist has introduced a harsh measure for dealing with unread books.
Sadly, Star Wars: Battle Surgeons sounds pretty good to me.
Batmobile
An exhaustive compendium of the history of the Batmobile is made possible thanks to "the internet".
The Batmobile made its career debut in Batman #5, then appeared on a comic cover for the first time for Batman #20. Because of different artists' interpretations of what the car should be, it changed size, shape, and features frequently. Later, as the car was marketed beyond the comics, more forms appeared based on practical or aesthetic considerations.
Guess-the-google
The Flea's engoing mission of reducing office productivity everywhere compels me to present Guess-the-google.
May 30, 2005
Cinnamon Rush
One of the strangest things in the world to me is the way stuff moves around the place. It was not so longer ago that only a tiny elite in any particular society would have access to luxury goods or commodities that had travelled any distance at all. Now it is an apparent banality that in the clutter on my desk is a watch made in Japan, a bottle of sandalwood oil from Australia and a two dollar bill from the U.S. of A. I could not tell you where the staples in my stapler come from or where my Farrah Fawcett sunglasses were manufactured let alone where the pewter in my Alchemy tetragrammaton ring was sourced. Our nervous systems evolved in a context where all the food we ate, every article of cloth we wore and each hunting gadget were intimately familiar to us from the beginning to the end of a very short supply chain. These days the surface of my desk presents me with bewildering complexity and a maze of relationships both social and technological that it could take ages to tease out. But who has the time? Small wonder the extraordinary difficulty of making ethical choices in our consumer habits or use of energy or attitudes toward environmental or labour policy are addressed in such facile terms by our major political parties.
Which brings me to my favourite toothpaste. There is nothing remarkable about my Crest Whitening Expressions liquid gel (excepting that unique Cinnamon Rush flavour sensation) but it did strike me how odd it was to be in Islington brushing my teeth with a product I had bought at the Giant Tiger in Picton, Prince Edward County. It seemed a long way for a humble toothpaste tube to travel. A bit like Sam Gamgee's pots and pans I expect.
Stonehenge is 'sort of Canadian'
Margaret Atwood thinks Canada is a bit like Stonehenge.*
*It isn't really.
(via Sinister Thoughts)
The Black Knight
Get medieval with the Black Knight! I love the muzak in the Olde Weapon Shoppe.
Star Wars testaments
I have just watched the Retarded Animal Babies interpretation of the latest Star Wars installment and it left me feeling more positive about the whole enterprise largely on the grounds I am not the only person re-writing this latest Lucas drek in my head even as I am watching it on the screen. Some words of warning... do not even think about watching this short film at work. There is swearing, animated nudity and adolescent fart-level humour. It is hilarious.
It left me thinking about some of my difficulties with the prequels and the blanket emotional refusal I have to accept that any of it should be considered canonical. This left me with the further thought that I am basically an Old Testament Star Wars fan. Except that in the case of this scripture the Old Testament occurs in the future while the New Testament occurs in the past. Or possibly that I am a New Testament Star Wars fan denying the truth of Old Testament writings I deem to be heretical. Or maybe the prequels are a latter-day arrangement that has an only passing relationship to the authentic continuity. Well, you see my problem. Just remember: never talk like that. That character does not exist.
Another Star Wars prequel
Cinematical follows up on rumoured Lucas musings (via Gay Orbit).
Dishwasher Salmon with Cilantro Sauce
The Surreal Gourmet presents an approach to dealing with impossibly high expectations of his cuisine.
May 28, 2005
BoA world conquest
K-Pop star BoA (Kwon Boa) announces plan for world conquest.
The Subway Page
The Subway Page offers "links to world subway and other transportation information resources." Some inevitable dead-linkage has crept in but an interaction subway map of Nagoya has already come in handy.
Typosquatting
Take care when you type the word "Google".
The malicious site, googkle.com, is infested with Trojan droppers, downloaders, backdoors and spyware, and an unsuspecting user only has to visit the page to be at risk of computer hijack attacks, according to a warning from Finnish anti-virus vendor F-Secure Corp.
Das Keyboard
Das Keyboard is for ubergeeks only. Sadly, I now find I crave one for myself.
Since there is no key to look at when typing, your brain will quickly adapt and memorize the key positions and you will find yourself typing a lot faster with more accuracy in no time. It is amazing how slow typers almost double their speed and quick typers become blazing fast!
May 27, 2005
Mary Jane Watson
The greatest moment in comic book history is the first appearance of Mary Jane Watson, in "Amazing Spider-Man" No. 42 (first series, November, 1966). Obviously.
Choosing a girlfriend
Apparently, choosing a girlfriend is much more straightforward than it looks. This one might not be safe for work if you laugh too loudly and your co-workers decide to investigate just what precisely is so funny about that spreadsheet you are looking at anyway.
Grocery Store Wars
Grocery Store Wars is yet another web movie that is more faithful to the spirit of the original films than the latest Lucas efforts. This is worth a look for the shopping cart alone. Also, a cute way to market organic food products.
Break me a f***ing give
Anthony Lane offers up Yoda as the character he would most like to see bumped off in the latest, and supposedly last, Star Wars installment.
Vorsprung durch Technik
A peculiar Audi commercial has convinced me of the truth of Vorsprung durch Technik.
On the number of New World founders
Jody Hey's "On the number of New World founders" reaches a surprising conclusion about the first wave of immigrants to the Americas. I would love to know what their names were.
Heliosheath
After a 28-year journey Voyager 1 has entered the heliosheath of the solar system. An artists rendition of our solar bow shock is pretty cool.
"Voyager 1 has entered the final lap on its race to the edge of interstellar space," said Dr. Edward Stone, Voyager project scientist at the California Institute of Technology in Pasadena. Caltech manages NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena, which built and operates Voyager 1 and its twin, Voyager 2.
May 26, 2005
The Queen of Chavdom
The Flea's passion for Beckham media made it impossible to ignore reports of a Posh Spice nude calendar appearance. But Flea-readers asked: where be the photos? I was forced to reiterate my rock hard commitment to maintaining standards on non-objectification and that commitment will stand proud for as long as I am publisher of the Flea (Time-Warner, make me an offer).
But then I thought: where be Victoria Beckham's own performativity and representation of self in this then? The Flea could hardly stand in the way of Posh and Becks' parodic expression of wealth and dialogical relationship to gender roles. Plus, those glasses really work for me. The small issue of not being able to find images from the forthcoming "4 Inches" calendar may have also played a part.
The greatest moment in comic book history
The greatest moment in comic book history. Read about it tomorrow... at the Flea!
Jessica Alba offers free talent
Seeing as Bill Ardolino is boycotting the Flea he is going to miss this link to high-resolution photos of Jessica Alba engaged in charitable pursuits.
Star Wars costumes
A parade of unfortunate Star Wars costumes suggests I might not be the extreme hellaloser I thought. Then again, there is the problem of finding these costumes strangely fascinating.
And for the first time I literally sprayed coffee onto my monitor. It was Chewbacca related. Fair warning.
Natalie Portman pole dancing
Given the Flea's ongoing reportage of cutting edge keep fit trends and coverage of the latest in popular film it only seemed wise to link to these clips of Natalie Portman pole dancing in the film "Closer". I doubt I shall ever see the movie myself as it looks to be more an exercise in existential frustration than an exercise in keeping fit. Jude Law and Clive Owen also feature.
How to brew beer in a coffee pot
How to brew beer in a coffee pot.
Xtreme beach volleyball nude, at last
Japanese videogame manufacturer, Tecmo appears to have failed in its court bid against players of its Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball title. Wired reports Tecmo had objected to players introducing custom mods that created a naked volleyball experience by rendering away the game's already scanty costumes.
I do not think it is only Tecmo's legal position that is precarious. It is difficult to credit objections to nude volleyball to a game manufacturer that "assigned the R-trigger on the Xbox pad to be a 'boob cam' - press it and you automatically zoom in on your character's breasts or crotch" and "the ability to set the level of 'bouncyness' on the breasts of the female characters." It would be sensible to worry less about custom mods and more about problems with virtual sand.
May 25, 2005
Posh Spice nude
Victoria Beckham has posed nude for charity. Fans of Posh may imagine the act is inherently charitable thereby earning some sort of double-karma. No word on whether David Beckham plans a similar act of Samaritanism.
And, especially in Victoria's case, the result is stunning. For once she is actually posing, as opposed to just pouting. She looks incredibly natural and, even better, she seems to be having fun.
Up Sith Creek
I would tell you I thought the Star Wars prequels were a steaming pile of bantha poodu but that would just be a point of view and we are now to believe that moral relativism is the hallmark of the Dark Side. And if you felt differently I would go all broody and threatening on you because either you are with me or you are my enemy and that oddly familiar assertion of moral absolutes we are now also meant to believe is the hallmark of the Dark Side. Frankly, I could care less if George Lucas wants to pass himself off as a latter day anti-war activist and critic of capitalism but I wish he would keep his own second-hand cotton-candy philosophy straight. Also, I am reasonably certain I saw at least one of his Huttish brood in costume once again. The one good thing I will say for this film is the appearance of Leia's mother in slightly-retro cloned cinnamon buns. There is no reason another generation should not have its sexual development compromised by a hairstyle.
The Sith Sense
Darth Vader will fully read your mind. Just don't pick a specific object. Specific objects do not concern him.
My object was "Natalie Portman as my imaginary girlfriend" and Lord Vader. Read. My mind. Totally.
The Passion of the Sith
David Edelstein sums up neatly what I believe is the second-worst flaw of the Star Wars prequels.
There is also the interesting rumour that Tom Stoppard was drafted to improve Lucas' legendarily ham-fisted dialogue. Actually, I loved the line "Hold me like you did by the lake on Naboo." and plan to salt my conversation with it. Unfortunately, Portman mispronounced "Naboo" and that took me right out of the scene.
J'en ai marre, encore
The Flea wishes to signal ongoing feelings of solidarity and affection for the people of Corsica. Here is Alizée singing J'en Ai Marre to underline the point.
Molecubes
The last sight seen by the last human will look something like this self-replicating machine.
(Is This The Way To) Amarillo
(Is This The Way To) Amarillo is a home-made video by British soldiers serving in Iraq that crashed UK Ministry of Defence computers due to a massive run on bandwidth. The MoD does not seem to have been bothered by the incident.
They e-mailed it to Army friends in London, but so many tried to download it that the MoD server could not cope. The MoD said the spoof was "brilliant" and the crash did not cause problems.
The whole Amarillo video is available here.
Kosovo
Though personally, I think these Norwegian soldiers serving in Kosovo deserve more attention for their version of Kokomo. Much as nobody anticipated the irritation to be caused to untold numbers of rail and bus commuters by the invention of handheld communicators I doubt the combination of inexpensive digital video and broadband internet was meant to lead to impromptu karaoke by the boys overseas. It seems inevitable in retrospect. We have a micro-genre in the making.
ToTo247's Xanga Site
The chilling story of a blogger's last post (via Gay Orbit).
"He wrote that he was wondering why Lin was there and wished he would leave," said Police Officer Jennara Everleth, an NYPD spokeswoman.
May 24, 2005
Eternity in a wild flower
"To see the world in a grain of sand,
and to see heaven in a wild flower,
hold infinity in the palm of your hands,
and eternity in an hour."
Once again in Annexia. Let us see what I can make of it.
Paris Hilton's Carl's Jr.
At long last, the Paris Hilton ad for Carl's Jr. featuring a burger approximately the size of Paris' head. That's hot!
Update: I love Paris every moment!
Louis XIV: Paper Doll
Now is the time at the Flea when we dance with bare-breasted Suicide Girls. Not safe for work unless you teach cultural studies in which case watching this video is only one example of a gruelling dedication to the advancement of the understanding of popular culture.
Most powerful
Paul O'Brien ponders the Question Cosmic: who is the most powerful being in comicdom? Much preferring the Marvel multiverse I thought of the Beyonder or Thanos with the Infinity Gauntlet. O'Brien agrees these are real bad-asses but hands the prize to the DC continuity.
The Man of Steel
A sincere tribute to Superman is touching considering he is so much less cool than the Batman.
Size 9 or 10
A two-thousand year old shoe has been unearthed at a Somerset quarry. The quarry part is a bit suspicious. Archaeologists should also be on the look-out for remains of Britain's oldest scarf, floppy hat and killer hoover.
Roman fashion crime
The Flea presents an update to an earlier report of a Roman fashion crime: photographic evidence from Darlington of Roman Army socks and sandals.
She said: "It is quite funny really that the soldiers were wearing these thick woolly socks. It could have been the fashion for a Roman soldier or it could have been because of the tough northern cold. ... There was a letter found at the Roman fort at Vindolanda, on Hadrian's Wall, from a soldier writing home asking for more socks."
May 23, 2005
Sic transit gloria mundi
The Flea is on the move again and regular posting should resume tomorrow from the not as sunny as it should be sounding Republic of Annexia. Some thoughts on discount airlines. The ticket price sounds good, yes, but the discount is eaten away by overweight baggage charges and the price of rail/coach tickets each way to and from your destination city and hinterland airport. Big savings for the inconvenience and expense are retained by the airline while each souvenir of your visit jacks up your fare to exactly where it would be had you flown with a proper carrier. At least, such is the guestimate of the travelling book collector. If stamps and other light-weight antiquities are your game you may not face the same problem.
Some further reflection for my airline: Air Transat, your customer service is everything I could have expected had I realized your corporate headquarters was in Quebec City. Your steerage-class in-flight cuisine is everything I have come to know and love from from the gourmanderie that is the Great White North. And while my first flight with you found all the electrics and tail parts still in working order on touch-down your peerless Canadian accident record leaves me crossing my fingers and offering prayers to a variety of ancient storm gods as I face the prospect of my return journey.
Once again: Air Transat, you are the sucking wind beneath my wings.
May 21, 2005
Self-suspicion
The Flea's Human Resources Advisor forwards news from Hanzi Smatter, "dedicated to the misuse of Chinese characters (Hanzi or Kanji) in Western culture." It seems Nike has made a somewhat odd choice of message for a pair of $320 trainers. I doubt this was the image they were looking for.
May 20, 2005
Sam Gamgee in Mordor
"There, peeping among the cloud-wrack above a dark tor high up in the mountains, Sam saw a white star twinkle for awhile. The beauty of it smote his heart, as he looked up out of the forsaken land, and hope returned to him. For like a shaft, clear and cold, the thought pierced him that in the end the Shadow was only a small and passing thing: there was light and high beauty for ever beyond its reach."
The Unutterable Beauty
"Faith"
How do I know that God is good? I don't.
I gamble like a man. I bet my life
Upon one side in life's great war. I must,
I can't stand out. I must take sides. The man
Who is a man a neutral in this fight is not
A man. He's bulk and body without breath,
Cold leg of lamb without mint sauce. A fool.
He makes me sick. Good Lord! Weak tea! Cold slops!
I want to live, live out, not wobble through
My life somehow, and then into the dark.
I must have God. This life's too dull without,
Too dull for aught but suicide. What's man
To live for else? I'd murder some one just
To see red blood. I'd drink myself blind drunk,
And see blue snakes if I could not look up
To see blue skies, and hear God speaking through
The silence of the stars. How is it proved
It isn't proved, you fool; it can't be proved.
How can you prove a victory before
It's won? How can you prove a man who leads,
To be a leader worth the following,
Unless you follow to the death--and out
Beyond mere death, which is not anything
But Satan's lie upon eternal life?
Well--God's my leader, and I hold that He
Is good, and strong enough to work His plan
And purpose out to its appointed end.
I am no fool, I have my reasons for
This faith, but they are not the reasonings,
The coldly calculated formulae
Of thought divorced from feeling. They are true,
Too true for that. There's no such thing as thought
Which does not feel, if it be real thought
And not thought's ghost--all pale and sicklied o'er
With dead conventions--abstract truth--man's lie
Upon this living, loving, suff'ring Truth,
That pleads and pulses in my very veins,
The blue blood of all beauty, and the breath
Of life itself. I see what God has done,
What life in this world is. I see what you
See, this eternal struggle in the dark.
I see the foul disorders, and the filth
Of mind and soul, in which men, wallowing
Like swine, stamp on their brothers till they drown
In puddles of stale blood, and vomitings
Of their corruption. This life stinks in places,
'Tis true, yet scent of roses and of hay
New mown comes stealing on the evening breeze,
And through the market's din, the bargaining
Of cheats, who make God's world a den of thieves,
I hear sweet bells ring out to gayer, and see
The faithful kneeling by the Calvary
Of Christ.
I walk in crowded streets where men
And women, mad with lust, loose-lipped and lewd,
Go promenading down to hell's wide gates;
Yet have I looked into my mother's eyes,
And seen the light that never was on sea
Or land, the light of Love, pure Love and true,
And on that Love I bet my life. I back
My mother 'gainst a whore when I believe
In God, and can a man do less or more?
I have to choose. I back the scent of life
Against its stink. That's what Faith works out at
Finally. I know not why the Evil,
I know not why he Good, both mysteries
Remain unsolved and both insoluble.
I know that both are there, the battle set,
And I must fight on this side or on that.
I can't stand shiv'ring on the bank,
I plunge Head first. I bet my life on Beauty, Truth,
And Love, not abstract but incarnate Truth,
Not Beauty's passing shadow but its Self.
Its very self made flesh Love, realised.
I bet my life on Christ--Christ Crucified.
Behold your God! My soul cries out. He hangs,
Serenely patient in His agony,
And turns the soul of darkness into light.
I look upon that body, writhing, pierced
And torn with nails, and see the battlefields
Of time, the mangled dead, the gaping wounds,
The sweating, dazed survivors straggling back,
The widows worn and haggard, still dry-eyed,
Because their weight of sorrow will not lift
And let them weep; I see the ravished maid,
The honest mother in her shame; I see
All history pass by, and through it all
Still shines that face, the Christ Face, like a star
Which pierces drifting clouds, and tells the Truth.
They pass, but it remains and shines untouched,
A pledge of that great hour which surely comes
When storm winds sob to silence, fury spent
To silver silence, and the moon sails calm
And stately through the soundless seas of Peace.
So through the clouds of Calvary--there shines
His face, and I believe that Evil dies,
And Good lives on, loves on, and conquers all--
All War must end in Peace. These clouds are lies.
They cannot last. The blue sky is the Truth.
For God` is Love. Such is my Faith, and such
My reasons for it, and I find them strong
Enough. And you? You want to argue? Well,
I can't. It is a choice. I choose the Christ.
- G. A. Studdert Kennedy
William Blake
Turner has never moved me and Barbara Hepworth, while collectible, only demonstrates why Vorticism was only a backwater of Futurism. There is only one British artist who is truly great.
I stopped by the Tate Britain to see if the Flea was on display. Not this time. In storage and so near yet so far. Just as well. I might have been tempted to eat it thereby bringing the tattoo to grim semblance of life.
May 18, 2005
Deep affection
The White Peril discusses some reasons for the deep affection so many fans hold for Kylie Minogue.
Australian Prime Minister John Howard has added his best wishes and words of support. Reportedly, such wishes and prayers have been such that Kylie Minogue's website was temporarily overwhelmed by traffic yesterday. One sobering additional revelation is a report that Kylie had her medical check-up on the advice of her boyfriend. One possible outcome of Kylie's unfortunate news is that many people may now be considering if it is time for a check-up of their own.
Why I live in Canada, Episode III
Liberty, for one thing. The temptation of Vivienne Westwood ties and Paul Smith blazers is more than a civilized soul can long endure. I had to say to myself, "I am not spending three-hundred dollars on a hat", consider every step on my way back to the street entrance and firmly close the door behind me. This was after trying on every Philip Treacy item in the store. Unfortunately, at £175 the Elvis trilby added up to more than my current choices can support even counting a minutely considered VAT exemption. At least I am now the pround owner of a pair of hot new cufflinks.
Prime Minister Belinda Stronach
Hey, it's not like those words are never going to be strung together in that order. Belinda Stronach, apparently reaching a similar decision to my own, has decided it is better to fight for a renewed democracy in a centrist party rather than continue to support the Conservative Party platform (hat tip to PolSpy).
"I respect deeply the moral positions that some of you may have, but I cannot bring myself to support a status quo that says to another citizen that he or she cannot enjoy the same civil rights I already have," she says in a statement posted prominently on her web site. "This is just not fair."
Smart ass
This was forwarded to me by the Flea's Etiquette Advice Team.
"Really?" said the manager. "My wife is from Canada."
"No s***?" replied the boy. "Who'd she play for?"
May 17, 2005
Troubling news
Kylie Minogue has been diagnosed with breast cancer. I am certain the many people with experience of cancer in their own families, and everyone around the world for whom Kylie's music is an ongoing source of happiness and inspiration, will find this most troubling news (hat tip to the Flea's Etiquette Advisor).
Whilst at home in Melbourne with her family this week prior to her Australian Showgirl Tour, Kylie was diagnosed with early breast cancer. She will undergo immediate treatment and consequently her Australian tour will not be able to proceed as planned.
Kylie said today "I was so looking forward to bringing the Showgirl tour to Australian audiences, and am sorry to have to disappoint my fans. "Nevertheless hopefully all will work out fine and I'll be back with you all again soon."
The Brisbane Courier-Mail is publishing letters of support for Kylie. Kylie, her family and her friends are in my prayers.