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December 31, 2006

Cranberries: Linger

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Happy New Year everybody!

This one goes with a special shout-out to Bill Ardolino on his way to Fallujah. Now is the time at the Flea when we dance (I'll explain later).

Posted by the Flea at 12:10 PM | Comments (6)

December 29, 2006

Be a Mind Sticker

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And if Tab does not work out for you there is always nerve stapling. Basically, whatever it takes.

Posted by the Flea at 07:10 AM | Comments (6)

Cradle Of Filth: No Time To Cry

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

Posted by the Flea at 07:08 AM | Comments (2)

Suggestions, please

Sure, Einstein may have been working in the post office, but as a master of Time, Space and Dimension we should accept his ability to substitute physics training for, say, psychiatry. Hence the oft-cited bit about insanity being defined by doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. No need to fill in Flea-readers on matters of uncertainty principles and the like, to be sure. Suffice to say being a successful globe-spanning dictatorial autarch does not guarantee anything but kitsch taste in architecture and if you are an entrepreneurial genius with a multi-billion dollar garage start-up this does not necessarily mean you will be my first stop for advice about the ladies.

That said, even a broken digital clock is right once a day* and that Einstein chap was probably on to something when it came to insanity. Yes, Nietzsche had a few words to say about the eternal return and Freud a few more on neuroses but why consult philosophy or psychiatry when a physicist is handy. In the same spirit of freelance personal empowerment, I am asking Flea-readers for thoughts about New Year's resolutions; I have a list to prepare.

* When it offers gnomic silence in response to the question, "What is Buddha nature?" Broken digital clocks are very zen.

Posted by the Flea at 07:07 AM | Comments (9)

December 28, 2006

Rise of the Silver Surfer

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Not even Jessica Alba undressing herself* could save the latest Fantastic Four feature from mediocrity; Rise of the Silver Surfer has some work to do to earn my cinema-going dollar. A big screen Galactus** would go a long way to convincing me. Another mediocre Dr. Doom: Not so much.

Marvel's first family of superheroes, The Fantastic Four, meets their greatest challenge yet in FANTASTIC FOUR: RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER as the enigmatic, intergalactic herald, The Silver Surfer, comes to Earth to prepare it for destruction. As the Silver Surfer races around the globe wreaking havoc, Reed, Sue, Johnny and Ben must unravel the mystery of the Silver Surfer and confirm the surprising return of their mortal enemy, Dr. Doom, before all hope is lost.

* Psych! Ok, seriously, here is Jessica Alba giving MTV a tour of the sequel's production facilities. She has an astonishing smile and does this cute little bouncy thing when she is enthusiastic about something. Just saying.
** Which means "Mighty Milk" in the original French.

Posted by the Flea at 06:54 AM | Comments (7)

Abney Park: Wrong Side

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

Posted by the Flea at 06:51 AM | Comments (3)

She's Goth to Have It

Thanks to Accordian Guy, Flea-readers can access the priceless treasure that is the goth issue of Archie. Though Mr. deVilla is less enthusiastic about She's Goth to Have It than I am.

It's a little-known fact that your subculture is over the minute it becomes a plot point in an Archie Comic.

Seriously, Veronica in a corset. 'Nuff said.

Special Dark Update: This Heineken: Goth or Not Goth?

Posted by the Flea at 06:47 AM | Comments (9)

December 27, 2006

Curse of the Golden Corset

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Gong Li's "eye popping" performance in Zhang Yimou's latest effort has the Chinese blogosphere all agog.

The $57 million Tang dynasty features bloody battles, ornate sets and an "eye-popping" role from Gong Li, "whose breasts are so tightly wrapped that they appear ready to pop out of her costume", Xinhua news agency said on Wednesday.

"What I remember is not the fighting scenes or the acting, but the shiny white flesh," Xinhua quoted internet surfer "Bond" as saying in a personal review. The term used for "golden flower" sounds similar to "golden corset" in Mandarin, though the Chinese characters are different.

Which is an odd fact to note given the original title is reportedly "Fill the City with Golden Armors". Chinese humour being noted for its inscrutability, Flea-readers may wish to peruse the trailer for Curse of the Golden Flower themselves. This one comes with a wall of corsets warning; impressive.

Posted by the Flea at 08:57 AM

Feindflug: Stukas im Visier

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

Posted by the Flea at 08:54 AM | Comments (1)

Gentlemen prefer Veronica

Yet another icon is about to vandalized in pursuit of a needless bringing up to date. Agent Bedhead has the details.

Archie and the Riverdale gang kicked off in the 1940’s with a very sassy and distinct set of personalities represented by the characters. In the 1950’s, cartoonist Dan DeCarlo gave the crew their first makeover, which was visualized as a more modern look. This look was less stylish and detailed, but it emphasized the physical similarities of Archie’s two girlfriends. Betty and Veronica were essentially twins with different hair colours. These similarities gave readers a bit of “delicious irony” to watch Archie’s “romantic quandry” over which girl to date. Weren’t they the same girl, just divided into the good/bad dichotomy?

The only thing that Archie ever had going for him is that teenage boys could vicariously experience the two-females-and-one-male threesome fantasy. Archie was billed as the average boy who most teenage males could identify with, and “his relationship with Betty and Veronica indicates every teenage boy’s own deeply seated desire to date two identical twins and eventually convince them to make out with one another while he watches.”

There is something there about revamped artwork as well. I got distracted.

Posted by the Flea at 08:51 AM | Comments (2)

December 23, 2006

Kylie Minogue: Santa Baby

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Happy Christmas! Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

Posted by the Flea at 11:17 AM | Comments (8)

What we do in life echoes in Eternity

It seems an appropriate time of year to call to mind the debt we owe to Robert Heinlein and some of the ways in which we might repay him; starting with a robust defense of Starship Troopers. Spider Robinson's thoughts on the subject are always worth re-reading (via InstaPundit).

Simply put, we can all do the best we personally can to assure that the country Robert Heinlein lives in is not ruined. I think he would take it kindly if we were all to refrain from abandoning civilization as a failed experiment that requires too much hard work. (I think he'll make out okay even if we don't—but he'd be a lot less comfortable.) I think he would be pleased if we abandoned the silly delusion that there are any passengers on Starship Earth, and took up our responsibilities as crewmen—as he has.

Which occasionally involves giving the Admiral your respectful attention. Even when the old fart's informed opinions conflict with your own ignorant prejudices.

The only real fear I have lies in the apparent abandonment of civilization I hear whenever I, for example, listen to the BBC. They have taken a great deal of time to perfect their elocution when it comes to Orcish names and the Black Speech (yes, I stray from Heinlein) and yet still manage to mispronounce Wolfowitz; one suspects intent rather than error. Flea-readers might consider this fine, animated History of Religion in 90 seconds. Go blue team!

Posted by the Flea at 11:11 AM | Comments (5)

December 22, 2006

The Deathly Hallows

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Struggling to finish her magnum opus, J.K. Rowling is haunted by Harry Potter in her dreams. Now she reveals the name of the final book in her epic series: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

“For years now, people have asked me whether I ever dream that I am 'in' Harry's world,” Rowling wrote. The answer was 'no' until a few nights ago, when I had an epic dream in which I was, simultaneously, Harry and the narrator.

“I was searching for a Horcrux (a magical object in Rowling's books created through the use of the Dark Arts) in a gigantic, crowded hall which bore no resemblance to the Great Hall as I imagine it. As the narrator I knew perfectly well that the Horcrux was jammed in a hidden nook in the fireplace, while as Harry I was searching for it in all kinds of other places, while trying to make the people around me say lines I had pre-arranged for them. Meanwhile waiters and waitresses who work in the real cafe in which I have written huge parts of book seven roamed around me as though on stilts, all of them at last 4.5m high.”

She added: “Perhaps I should cut back on the caffeine?”

Update: Fan speculation about the new Harry Potter title has begun:

There are also many theories about the meaning of the new title. Some fans think that "Deathly Hallows" refers to horcruxes, says Mr. Spartz. Horcruxes are objects that contain pieces of a wizard's soul. When a wizard kills somebody, he can split his own soul and put a piece of it into an object. This makes the murderous wizard more difficult to kill: Not only does he have to die, but the remnants of his soul must be destroyed as well.

"Harry thinks Voldemort split his soul into seven pieces, which means that in order to defeat Voldemort, Harry has to hunt down and destroy all of the remaining horcruxes and then take on Voldemort in a final battle," says Mr. Spartz.

Horcruxes have to do with death, hence the reference to "Deathly Hallows," he adds. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the word hallow as a noun can mean "a loud shout or cry" or "a saint." In the Potter canon, nothing is holier than a wizard's soul. It would make sense, says Mr. Spartz, to link the two words. "The new book will be about Harry hunting down and destroying Voldemort's remaining horcruxes," he says. A spokeswoman for Scholastic declined to comment on the book's content. It isn't known when Ms. Rowling will deliver the manuscript.

The film adaptation of "Harry Potter and Order of the Phoenix," the fifth book in the series is set for release on July 13 of next year.

Posted by the Flea at 07:27 AM | Comments (5)

Kode9: 007

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

Posted by the Flea at 07:17 AM

December 21, 2006

Unhinged

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Let us all pause for a moment and reflect on the wonder that is Drusilla with the help of this marvelous Unhinged BtVS tribute vid. Once you are done with that it is time to pour a snifter of brandy, find a quiet spot by the fire and enjoy Lydia Chalmers' Thesis on William the Bloody. I particularly enjoyed Appendix B; more Flea than Flea.

Photograph--print, aged, Boxer Rebellion, found likewise in Sir Nicholas Brisby's Diary. Both of these photographs show William the Bloody with his constant companion Drusilla.

My task for today: Work the word "effulgent" into conversation.

Posted by the Flea at 06:33 AM

Billy Idol: Jingle Bell Rock

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

Posted by the Flea at 06:23 AM | Comments (2)

Blogs are the new black

The Local considers the Queen of Swedish blogging. Interesting fact: Five of the top ten most popular blogs in Sweden are about fashion. Take Engla's Showroom, for example.

At number 2 in the chart is Engla's Showroom, which pulled in over 50,000 unique visitors last week. The site has been up and running for a year and a half and is maintained by Engla Harjunpää, a 24-year-old woman from a small village outside the university town of Uppsala.

"I started the site in June last year," Harjunpää told The Local. "Back then I updated once or twice a day, now I usually put up four to six posts."

And very nice posts they are too.

Posted by the Flea at 06:21 AM | Comments (2)

December 20, 2006

Via Galactica

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This certainly puts a different spin on the name of everybody's favourite battlestar.

... the early Romans conceived the thickest band of stars in the sky as the Via Galactica, the Way of Milk, from which we get our familiar expression the Milky Way. To them and to the Greeks this was literally a mist of milk across the heavens, spurted upward from the breasts of the earth goddess, Hera.
- Robert Anton Wilson, Ishtar Rising

I think RAW is engaged in a little hyperbole here; the Romans were perfectly capable of metaphor. Still, it is a nice accidental origin for the word galaxy.

Posted by the Flea at 07:21 AM | Comments (7)

Juno Reactor: Song for the Ancestors

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

Posted by the Flea at 07:17 AM

Not to forget the cold antiseptic sting of the Swiss franc

Harry Hutton has a Christmas greeting for the Swiss who, I gather, are much like top tier bloggers.

What’s wrong with being Swiss? Listen, and I’ll tell you.

The Swiss are the world’s most miserable creatures. Baffled and affronted by anyone who tries to make a joke, they fanatically disapprove of any humour that rises above the level of a clown being hit with a broom, though if you spill soup down your shirt they will laugh. Incapable of joy, they devote their dismal lives to banking and endless niggling referendums. From time to time an Italian visitor will have his car clamped, or be fined for smoking: this provides the only sour amusement a Swiss ever experiences.

After a few decades of this he dies, and the cuckoo clock croaks its mournful music over his lifeless body.

Pigeons are birds of an entirely different feather. A threatened pigeon cull in Kingston-on-Thames raised controversy in the comments at the Surrey Comet. I confess I was astonished at how long it took to raise the all important European or African pigeon question (hat tip to the Sister of the Flea).

Why not just round these flying rats up in a big net? Surely the council could find some practical use, for example setting up a tasty pigeon pie stall in the centre of town. I for one would be grateful to see these horrific beasts removed from the Royal borough altogether! They are a nuisance, and also the flying wizards of Satan. There, I've said it.
Posted by the Flea at 07:14 AM | Comments (10)

December 19, 2006

Le Smoking

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Writing for the Associated Press, Samantha Critchell argues the merits of tuxedos for women.

Special occasions require special-occasion clothes - and many people treat New Year's Eve as if it's the biggest, most important night of the year. So, if there's ever an evening to pluck the tuxedo from the back of your closet, this is probably it.

That means women, too.

Tuxedos, or at least "tuxedo- inspired" pieces, have been all over the runways and red carpets as black-tie fashion took a 180-degree turn from embellished glittery gowns to, well, black ties. Kate Moss and Kate Winslet are among the celebrities photographed in tux looks this year. It's a style that sees ebbs and flows in popularity but hasn't really completely fallen out of favor since Yves Saint Laurent introduced Le Smoking tuxedo in 1966.

Let's face facts. A woman of sufficient beauty and grace can wear anything and be mesmerizing; even in as masculine a garment as a tuxedo. Certainly, Kate Moss made the look look effortless in her recent Vanity Fair shoot. But Critchell is understating the effect with even so grand a pedigree as Le Smoking... for the real classic we have to set the wayback machine to Marlene Dietrich.

In related news: Daniel Craig's Bond tuxedo raised £12,000 for a children's charity. Bless.

Posted by the Flea at 07:04 AM | Comments (11)

Lady Sovereign: 9 to 5

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.*

* LOL.

Posted by the Flea at 07:03 AM | Comments (1)

The riddle of steel

Writing for the National Review, John J. Miller considers Robert E. Howard's most famous creation in this the centenary year of his creator. I think the article is worth a look even if I expect there is hardly a Flea-reader who does not first and foremost think of Conan as a literary figure.

In the tales, Conan takes his turn as a thief, pirate, mercenary, tribal chieftain and, finally, king. He is never comfortable in any of these roles. You can take the boy out of Cimmeria, but you can't take Cimmeria out of the boy: Just about everywhere Conan goes and no matter what he does, he is an outsider who follows only a rough sense of personal honor. He has been called an existential hero because he feels no responsibility to be anything other than his authentic, barbaric self. "I live, I burn with life, I love, I slay, and am content," he says in "Queen of the Black Coast."

Surely a contentment worth striving for. Loving this argument from the Rantburg post whence the linkage:

I believe Conan is TECHNICALLY part of the Cthulhu mythos, with a number of Mythos creatures mentioned in the Conan stories and at least one Conan reference in Lovecraft's works. The critter in "The Tower of the Elephant" was definitely cut from the Mythos mold, if not as malevolent as the rest.
Posted by the Flea at 07:01 AM | Comments (7)

December 18, 2006

Good news

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Popoholic offers a few precious glimpses of Christina Ricci's righteous posterior new film project, Black Snake Moan.

Here are Christina Ricci’s promo pictures for her upcoming movie, Black Snake Moan. I’ve already talked about how she wanted the role so badly; she sent naked pictures of herself to the director (btw, every female celebrity should take note; naked pictures get you bonus points).

A controversial assertion: Sexist? Or sexy?

Posted by the Flea at 07:21 AM | Comments (5)

Mory Kante: Yeke Yeke

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

Posted by the Flea at 07:17 AM

Bad news

Ben's Delicatessen, source of the second best smoked meat sandwiches on this astral plane, has closed.

The owner of a famed Montreal deli blames striking workers for forcing her to close up shop. Ben’s, a Montreal institution for 98 years, is closing because “we have come to the conclusion a single outlet deli cannot thrive in the economic environment of a unionized payroll,” said 83-year-old owner Jean Kravitz. The restaurant’s 22 unionized employees — including waiters, bus boys and short-order cooks — went on strike July 20 to back demands for improved working conditions.

Normally I am sympathetic to the collective bargaining process but in this instance I am hoping Ben's owners are just union-busting. We have to get those sandwiches back on-line.

Viande fumée Update: An authority on the Montreal smoked meat scene informs me of a not terribly conspiratorial conspiracy theory making the rounds regarding Ben's closure, viz the place was worth more for the real-estate it was sitting on than staying in business as a diner. Fortunately, Schwartz's is not sitting on the same sort of hot property and shall hopefully keep its doors open. Better yet, my local source informs me I have been missing out on Smoked Meat Pete, reportedly better than even my sacred Schwartz's.

Posted by the Flea at 07:14 AM | Comments (5)

December 15, 2006

Twilight of the idols

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Andrew Ian Dodge reveals a sacred idol in need of a good kicking over by putting the boot to the music industry and the BBC's monopoly besides. While sure be received as blasphemy by Baal worshipping types at the Beeb, "Creative destruction in the music industry" nevertheless features an introduction by Jo-Anne Nadler, a former BBC1 producer herself. There could hardly be a more telling expert witness.

Britain's music industry is is in crisis; sales of singles and albums are collapsing while digital downloads - often illegal - are exploding. Meanwhile UK artists are failing to exploit the new technologies and sales channels that could give them a competitive edge and the record companies continue to work on a pre-digital redundant business model - one where they have a monopoly of recording, releasing and distributing music.

"To redeem those who lived in the past and to turn every 'it was' into a 'thus I willed it' - that alone should I call redemption," as Zarathustra put it. Surely a timely thought in the week MySpace enables artists to upload, price and sell music direct through our pages.

Posted by the Flea at 06:31 AM | Comments (4)

Current 93: A Gothic Love Song

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

Posted by the Flea at 06:27 AM

Spanish Flea at The Bronze

Spanish Flea at The Bronze: Goth or not goth? Tricky (hat tip to Elvis).

Related: Buffy and Faith Tainted Love vid. Oh yes.

Posted by the Flea at 06:24 AM | Comments (4)

December 14, 2006

When prequel and orgasm are made to rhyme

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Halo Wars may redeem the word prequel with a real-time strategy counterpart to Bungee's epic trilogy. And it has a co-op mode... Flea-readers, I present for your consideration the Halo Wars trailer.

The Halo Wars official FAQ states that the game will take place prior to the events of Halo: Combat Evolved, presumably in the 27 years' war that followed the United Nations Space Command's first contact with Covenant. It will allow the player to control the crew and vehicles of the UNSC ship CFV-88 Spirit of Fire in the first battles against the Covenant. Bungie Studios has reported that the game is already in playable form, stating that "it's going to be awesome."

Note to self: Find permanent, lucrative employment then purchase ludicrous entertainment centre then plug into hypothetical Xbox 360. Then use imaginary free time to leave Toronto's low-res, poorly rendered "reality" and begin a new life of epic meaning kicking Covenant ass. In the meantime, watch this Halo 3 backstage video over and over again.

Posted by the Flea at 07:24 AM | Comments (3)

Faithless: Insomnia

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.*

* I don't know for how much of the day that link has been problematical. I have switched it up for an excellent live cover version.

Posted by the Flea at 07:23 AM

+2 to Awesome

"DM of the Rings" is an alarmingly perceptive Tolkien/D&D mash-up is the perfect diversion for cubicle-based former gamers. Or for any Flea-readers after an old school dungeon adventure who shall, for obvious reasons, remain nameless. "Remember: That which does not kill you was simply not permitted to do so for the purposes of the plot."

Lord of the Rings is more or less the foundation of modern D&D. The latter rose from the former, although the two are now so estranged that to reunite them would be an act of savage madness. Imagine a gaggle of modern hack-n-slash roleplayers who had somehow never been exposed to the original Tolkien mythos, and then imagine taking those players and trying to introduce them to Tolkien via a D&D campaign.

I was dating an attractive woman earlier this year who claimed to occasionally play D&D; it was too good to last. Not that I have played D&D since, like, Grade 8 you understand.

Posted by the Flea at 07:21 AM | Comments (4)

December 13, 2006

Mirna and Schmirna

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Most excellent news: The Flea's favourite Amazing Race team of the one time I watched the show are returning for an all-star eleventh season.

Charla says she is married to the man of her dreams and is manager/co-owner of ten sportswear stores. She has a form of dwarfism and says she “certainly does not consider it a limitation.” In fact, she says she hopes “to show the world what I can do and break all stereotypes about dwarfs!”

Mirna is an attorney who graduated from the University of Maryland School of Law at age 23, the youngest in her class. While she describes herself as “sometimes too competitive, strong-willed and ambitious,” she blows off steam by doing some favorite activities such as running and cycling. Mirna also claims to be a frequent winner at blackjack tournaments.

But is Mirna single? Questions, questions.

Posted by the Flea at 07:04 AM | Comments (2)

The Cure: Charlotte Sometimes

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

Posted by the Flea at 07:03 AM

December 12, 2006

Tangerine Dream: Love On A Real Train

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

Posted by the Flea at 07:14 AM | Comments (2)

Galactica game

I worked up the street from the Elliott Avedon Museum and Archive of Games in Waterloo, Ontario for three years without learning of its existence. Shame. Though I believe I own a copy of this Battlestar Galactica boardgame... it is almost the right time of year for rummaging through the ancestral closets of the parental units of the Flea! Though upon reflection the only collectible I want to be certain has remained intact is my old Haunted Mansion game... Doom Buggies rule.

Posted by the Flea at 07:07 AM | Comments (6)

December 11, 2006

Buy old masters. They fetch a better price than old mistresses.

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The 2006 Turner Prize defies convention as it is awarded to an artist, viz a painter. Tomma Abts' work is not my tasse de thé but it is a big step up from dung Madonnas.

The £25,000 Turner Prize - called the emperor's new clothes prize by its many exasperated critics - was won last night by the German-born abstract artist, Tomma Abts. She was the first painter to win since Chris Ofili, renowned for adding elephant dung to his canvases, in 1998.

Traditionalists may be doubly pleased. In an annual tournament that has been dominated for years by "concepts" and "ideas" rather than beauty, Abts, 38, says that her paintings have absolutely no meaning. The first woman painter to win, she was presented with her prize by Yoko Ono at Tate Britain last night.

Certainly, the Stuckists will be pleased. Still, I could do without the Yoko Ono bit; her involvement guarantees the presence of saddo Yoko Ono fans.

Posted by the Flea at 07:14 AM | Comments (5)

KLF: What Time Is Love (Pure Trance Mix)

The Rites of Mu is, amongst other thing, an excellent source document for the imminent cubicle revolution. Start sewing your robes now and get a head start! Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

Posted by the Flea at 07:07 AM | Comments (2)

Millwall brick

A Millwall brick is just the ticket when you are caught short without a sword-cane or telescoping steel baton. Worth a moment to pick up the basics: This plus an airline seat strapped to your distaff arm may save your life.

In the late 1960s — in response to violence at football matches in England — police began confiscating any objects that could be used as weapons. These items included steel combs, pens, beermats, polo mints, shoelaces and even boots.[1] However, fans were still permitted to bring in newspapers. Larger newspapers such as The Guardian or The Financial Times work best for a Millwall brick, and the police looked with suspicion at working class football fans who carried such newspapers. Because of their more innocent appearance, tabloid newspapers became the newspapers of choice for Millwall bricks.
Posted by the Flea at 07:04 AM | Comments (10)

December 08, 2006

Wonderland

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Didn't like my Saturnalia post? That's it! It's Christmas at the Flea! Heidi Klum is the reason for the season! Sie ist wunderschön!

Wonderland! Wonderland! Shining stars! Jingle bells! Angel boobies!*

*That last one is not strictly X-Mas related.

Posted by the Flea at 07:07 AM | Comments (5)

Combichrist: This is my Rifle

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

Posted by the Flea at 07:03 AM

Fictional religions

The gnomes of Wikipedia have thoughtfully provided a list of fictional religions. A possible class project: Adopt one of these as your own and live by its tenets for, say, a week. For example, this might be the season to keep what you kill. Hilarity ensues!

Posted by the Flea at 07:01 AM | Comments (8)

December 07, 2006

Finish the fight

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The new Halo 3 trailer is on-line. It looks like Master Chief has at least one new toy. Bungie.net Content Manager, Frank O’Connor elaborates:

Slith: Will the shield grenade be the fourth grenade type we can use in Halo 3 - alongside the frag’s, plasma’s and spike’s?
Frankie: Why does the shield have to be from a grenade? Obviously the object is grenade-like. But who says it’s a grenade?

North American Flea-readers might consider registering for the beta...

Posted by the Flea at 07:29 AM | Comments (9)

Duran Duran: Lonely in Your Nightmare

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

Posted by the Flea at 07:24 AM | Comments (4)

December 06, 2006

Bellissima

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I googled Monica Bellucci this morning to see if she had got up to anything newsworthy lately. Let's see... let's see... Ahh, here we go: She may go to China next year to promote an Italian film festival. Gripping stuff as I am sure you will agree.

On a related note, Bellucci describes herself as a geisha.

Monica Bellucci begins, "I am a geisha, my work is fantastic. You're there like in a trance, you do things that you would never do, you're never cold even if you're completely naked; I usually cautious and fearful but there I become courageous." The actress says how she "never made a phone call to ask for a role. On the contrary, I love to play a destre, give shape to a character, a person. And turning someone else on excites me, to produce excitement in a man. Men can pay a woman to provoke pleasure. For women the issue is different. My naked body? I've never had problems."

Quite. Though I think something was lost in translation about "phoning in" a rôle.

Posted by the Flea at 07:17 AM | Comments (10)

Emilie Autumn: Misery Loves Company

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

Posted by the Flea at 07:14 AM

After all, it is not as if the Romans ever did anything for us

Tim Willis argues it is payback time; I for one look forward to my 40 acres and a mule. Reparations for collective British trauma suffered under the Roman conquest should come to that much at least (via Quotulatiousness).

One hundred thousand of us were taken into slavery! And that's just the start. Who invented concrete? The Romans. Who drove the first motorways through our winding lanes? Likewise. The invaders introduced nude bathing, gladiatorial combat, wild orgies (and we wonder how our youth became so depraved!). They found a druid country, where power was devolved to local communities, and organic farming was a way of life. They left one that was Christianised, rent by Hadrian's Wall and sustained by pizza.

Now composing my letter to the Italian embassy in Ottawa. Though I admit a case might be made for a different addressee as successor state to the Roman Empire.

Posted by the Flea at 07:07 AM | Comments (3)

December 05, 2006

Feeling like there's just no SLACK?

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I'd say it is a SAFE BET - iffn' I was a betting man - that most FLEA-READERS are familiar with the Church of the SubGenius, know the TEACHINGS of J.R. "Bob" Dobbs and have become Masters of SLACK. BUT...

... have you WITNESSED this SubGenius Commercial?
... have you EYESLIMED the Day of the SubGenius?
... have you TESTED YOUR SLACK against Subgenius Hypnotic Induction Video # 1? (nsfw*)

Once you have PASSED THE TEST and have learned tomorrow is the End of the World and you may die then SEND MONEY TO THE FLEA and brag to your friends and co-workers.

* Especially the slackness in your slacks!

Posted by the Flea at 07:27 AM | Comments (12)

Hawkwind: Orgone Accumulator

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

Posted by the Flea at 07:24 AM

If we persist in this we truly will have brought the calamity upon ourselves

The Cylons: Why do they hate us? Mike Campbell reports on a case of the wobblies on the Galactica bridge.

"It wasn't you!", pleads Lee. "It was them! It was the Admiralty, the military!!" (Now, I do give them marks for using the term 'Admiralty'.) [Um, 'the Cylons themselves'?!]

Even President Roslin's more level-headed response that it was a thousand good and bad decisions/actions by us that lead to the Cylon attack.

Whatever, it was us. It was something we did to them. Why would the enemy possibly want to hurt us, to kill us, to destroy our way of life?! We can't agree other than it was something we did.

He concludes with an assessment of their chances. It is a forecast for those of us watching the show as much as for the rag tag fugitive remnants of the Colonies.

Posted by the Flea at 07:21 AM | Comments (3)

December 04, 2006

Brian Slade: The Ballad of Maxwell Demon

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

Posted by the Flea at 07:04 AM | Comments (2)

December 01, 2006

Pimps At Sea

Halo3Screenshot.jpg

Rumour has it Microsoft management is playing a Halo 3 multiplayer beta on-line as I type these words and well in advance of the registrations - and the new trailer - scheduled for this Monday. GamePro has seventeen screenshots...

When the users in question were asked about Pimps at Sea, they simply replied "What's a pimp?" Considering the (Alpha) tag after the title, it seems highly probable that this is the first phase of testing for Halo 3's multiplayer. And by highly probable, we mean totally 100% true. We didn't even need to pay Encyclopedia Brown a quarter to sit down and solve this mystery. When's our turn to play?

Sometime next year.
Posted by the Flea at 02:44 PM

Annie Lennox: Into the West

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.*

*Be with you in a moment; I seem to have got some dust stuck in my eye.

Posted by the Flea at 07:21 AM | Comments (4)