December 31, 2006
Cranberries: Linger
Happy New Year everybody!
This one goes with a special shout-out to Bill Ardolino on his way to Fallujah. Now is the time at the Flea when we dance (I'll explain later).
December 29, 2006
Be a Mind Sticker
And if Tab does not work out for you there is always nerve stapling. Basically, whatever it takes.
Cradle Of Filth: No Time To Cry
Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.
Suggestions, please
Sure, Einstein may have been working in the post office, but as a master of Time, Space and Dimension we should accept his ability to substitute physics training for, say, psychiatry. Hence the oft-cited bit about insanity being defined by doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. No need to fill in Flea-readers on matters of uncertainty principles and the like, to be sure. Suffice to say being a successful globe-spanning dictatorial autarch does not guarantee anything but kitsch taste in architecture and if you are an entrepreneurial genius with a multi-billion dollar garage start-up this does not necessarily mean you will be my first stop for advice about the ladies.
That said, even a broken digital clock is right once a day* and that Einstein chap was probably on to something when it came to insanity. Yes, Nietzsche had a few words to say about the eternal return and Freud a few more on neuroses but why consult philosophy or psychiatry when a physicist is handy. In the same spirit of freelance personal empowerment, I am asking Flea-readers for thoughts about New Year's resolutions; I have a list to prepare.
* When it offers gnomic silence in response to the question, "What is Buddha nature?" Broken digital clocks are very zen.
December 28, 2006
Rise of the Silver Surfer
Not even Jessica Alba undressing herself* could save the latest Fantastic Four feature from mediocrity; Rise of the Silver Surfer has some work to do to earn my cinema-going dollar. A big screen Galactus** would go a long way to convincing me. Another mediocre Dr. Doom: Not so much.
* Psych! Ok, seriously, here is Jessica Alba giving MTV a tour of the sequel's production facilities. She has an astonishing smile and does this cute little bouncy thing when she is enthusiastic about something. Just saying.
** Which means "Mighty Milk" in the original French.
Abney Park: Wrong Side
Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.
She's Goth to Have It
Thanks to Accordian Guy, Flea-readers can access the priceless treasure that is the goth issue of Archie. Though Mr. deVilla is less enthusiastic about She's Goth to Have It than I am.
Seriously, Veronica in a corset. 'Nuff said.
Special Dark Update: This Heineken: Goth or Not Goth?
December 27, 2006
Curse of the Golden Corset
Gong Li's "eye popping" performance in Zhang Yimou's latest effort has the Chinese blogosphere all agog.
"What I remember is not the fighting scenes or the acting, but the shiny white flesh," Xinhua quoted internet surfer "Bond" as saying in a personal review. The term used for "golden flower" sounds similar to "golden corset" in Mandarin, though the Chinese characters are different.
Which is an odd fact to note given the original title is reportedly "Fill the City with Golden Armors". Chinese humour being noted for its inscrutability, Flea-readers may wish to peruse the trailer for Curse of the Golden Flower themselves. This one comes with a wall of corsets warning; impressive.
Feindflug: Stukas im Visier
Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.
Gentlemen prefer Veronica
Yet another icon is about to vandalized in pursuit of a needless bringing up to date. Agent Bedhead has the details.
The only thing that Archie ever had going for him is that teenage boys could vicariously experience the two-females-and-one-male threesome fantasy. Archie was billed as the average boy who most teenage males could identify with, and “his relationship with Betty and Veronica indicates every teenage boy’s own deeply seated desire to date two identical twins and eventually convince them to make out with one another while he watches.”
There is something there about revamped artwork as well. I got distracted.
December 23, 2006
Kylie Minogue: Santa Baby
Happy Christmas! Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.
What we do in life echoes in Eternity
It seems an appropriate time of year to call to mind the debt we owe to Robert Heinlein and some of the ways in which we might repay him; starting with a robust defense of Starship Troopers. Spider Robinson's thoughts on the subject are always worth re-reading (via InstaPundit).
Which occasionally involves giving the Admiral your respectful attention. Even when the old fart's informed opinions conflict with your own ignorant prejudices.
The only real fear I have lies in the apparent abandonment of civilization I hear whenever I, for example, listen to the BBC. They have taken a great deal of time to perfect their elocution when it comes to Orcish names and the Black Speech (yes, I stray from Heinlein) and yet still manage to mispronounce Wolfowitz; one suspects intent rather than error. Flea-readers might consider this fine, animated History of Religion in 90 seconds. Go blue team!
December 22, 2006
The Deathly Hallows
Struggling to finish her magnum opus, J.K. Rowling is haunted by Harry Potter in her dreams. Now she reveals the name of the final book in her epic series: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.
“I was searching for a Horcrux (a magical object in Rowling's books created through the use of the Dark Arts) in a gigantic, crowded hall which bore no resemblance to the Great Hall as I imagine it. As the narrator I knew perfectly well that the Horcrux was jammed in a hidden nook in the fireplace, while as Harry I was searching for it in all kinds of other places, while trying to make the people around me say lines I had pre-arranged for them. Meanwhile waiters and waitresses who work in the real cafe in which I have written huge parts of book seven roamed around me as though on stilts, all of them at last 4.5m high.”
She added: “Perhaps I should cut back on the caffeine?”
Update: Fan speculation about the new Harry Potter title has begun:
"Harry thinks Voldemort split his soul into seven pieces, which means that in order to defeat Voldemort, Harry has to hunt down and destroy all of the remaining horcruxes and then take on Voldemort in a final battle," says Mr. Spartz.
Horcruxes have to do with death, hence the reference to "Deathly Hallows," he adds. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the word hallow as a noun can mean "a loud shout or cry" or "a saint." In the Potter canon, nothing is holier than a wizard's soul. It would make sense, says Mr. Spartz, to link the two words. "The new book will be about Harry hunting down and destroying Voldemort's remaining horcruxes," he says. A spokeswoman for Scholastic declined to comment on the book's content. It isn't known when Ms. Rowling will deliver the manuscript.
The film adaptation of "Harry Potter and Order of the Phoenix," the fifth book in the series is set for release on July 13 of next year.
None dare call it treason
The fact it is possible to utter the words al Qaeda of England tells any sane, free and educated person all s/he needs to know. First, about the situation that has been allowed to arise. Second, about the contemptible suicidal treasonous folly of every British government since the War.* Third, about what has to be done; to hang this bastard would be a fine start. Happy Christmas.
British police have been quietly carrying out a series of key arrests as they continue to track at least six active "plots" tied to what they call "al Qaeda of England."
* Yes, including Her Majesty's government during Margaret Thatcher's tenure.
December 21, 2006
Unhinged
Let us all pause for a moment and reflect on the wonder that is Drusilla with the help of this marvelous Unhinged BtVS tribute vid. Once you are done with that it is time to pour a snifter of brandy, find a quiet spot by the fire and enjoy Lydia Chalmers' Thesis on William the Bloody. I particularly enjoyed Appendix B; more Flea than Flea.
My task for today: Work the word "effulgent" into conversation.
Billy Idol: Jingle Bell Rock
Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.
Blogs are the new black
The Local considers the Queen of Swedish blogging. Interesting fact: Five of the top ten most popular blogs in Sweden are about fashion. Take Engla's Showroom, for example.
"I started the site in June last year," Harjunpää told The Local. "Back then I updated once or twice a day, now I usually put up four to six posts."
And very nice posts they are too.
December 20, 2006
Via Galactica
This certainly puts a different spin on the name of everybody's favourite battlestar.
- Robert Anton Wilson, Ishtar Rising
I think RAW is engaged in a little hyperbole here; the Romans were perfectly capable of metaphor. Still, it is a nice accidental origin for the word galaxy.
Juno Reactor: Song for the Ancestors
Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.
Not to forget the cold antiseptic sting of the Swiss franc
Harry Hutton has a Christmas greeting for the Swiss who, I gather, are much like top tier bloggers.
The Swiss are the world’s most miserable creatures. Baffled and affronted by anyone who tries to make a joke, they fanatically disapprove of any humour that rises above the level of a clown being hit with a broom, though if you spill soup down your shirt they will laugh. Incapable of joy, they devote their dismal lives to banking and endless niggling referendums. From time to time an Italian visitor will have his car clamped, or be fined for smoking: this provides the only sour amusement a Swiss ever experiences.
After a few decades of this he dies, and the cuckoo clock croaks its mournful music over his lifeless body.
Pigeons are birds of an entirely different feather. A threatened pigeon cull in Kingston-on-Thames raised controversy in the comments at the Surrey Comet. I confess I was astonished at how long it took to raise the all important European or African pigeon question (hat tip to the Sister of the Flea).
December 19, 2006
Le Smoking
Writing for the Associated Press, Samantha Critchell argues the merits of tuxedos for women.
That means women, too.
Tuxedos, or at least "tuxedo- inspired" pieces, have been all over the runways and red carpets as black-tie fashion took a 180-degree turn from embellished glittery gowns to, well, black ties. Kate Moss and Kate Winslet are among the celebrities photographed in tux looks this year. It's a style that sees ebbs and flows in popularity but hasn't really completely fallen out of favor since Yves Saint Laurent introduced Le Smoking tuxedo in 1966.
Let's face facts. A woman of sufficient beauty and grace can wear anything and be mesmerizing; even in as masculine a garment as a tuxedo. Certainly, Kate Moss made the look look effortless in her recent Vanity Fair shoot. But Critchell is understating the effect with even so grand a pedigree as Le Smoking... for the real classic we have to set the wayback machine to Marlene Dietrich.
In related news: Daniel Craig's Bond tuxedo raised £12,000 for a children's charity. Bless.
Lady Sovereign: 9 to 5
Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.*
* LOL.
The riddle of steel
Writing for the National Review, John J. Miller considers Robert E. Howard's most famous creation in this the centenary year of his creator. I think the article is worth a look even if I expect there is hardly a Flea-reader who does not first and foremost think of Conan as a literary figure.
Surely a contentment worth striving for. Loving this argument from the Rantburg post whence the linkage:
December 18, 2006
Good news
Popoholic offers a few precious glimpses of Christina Ricci's righteous posterior new film project, Black Snake Moan.
A controversial assertion: Sexist? Or sexy?
Mory Kante: Yeke Yeke
Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.
Bad news
Ben's Delicatessen, source of the second best smoked meat sandwiches on this astral plane, has closed.
Normally I am sympathetic to the collective bargaining process but in this instance I am hoping Ben's owners are just union-busting. We have to get those sandwiches back on-line.
Viande fumée Update: An authority on the Montreal smoked meat scene informs me of a not terribly conspiratorial conspiracy theory making the rounds regarding Ben's closure, viz the place was worth more for the real-estate it was sitting on than staying in business as a diner. Fortunately, Schwartz's is not sitting on the same sort of hot property and shall hopefully keep its doors open. Better yet, my local source informs me I have been missing out on Smoked Meat Pete, reportedly better than even my sacred Schwartz's.
December 15, 2006
Twilight of the idols
Andrew Ian Dodge reveals a sacred idol in need of a good kicking over by putting the boot to the music industry and the BBC's monopoly besides. While sure be received as blasphemy by Baal worshipping types at the Beeb, "Creative destruction in the music industry" nevertheless features an introduction by Jo-Anne Nadler, a former BBC1 producer herself. There could hardly be a more telling expert witness.
"To redeem those who lived in the past and to turn every 'it was' into a 'thus I willed it' - that alone should I call redemption," as Zarathustra put it. Surely a timely thought in the week MySpace enables artists to upload, price and sell music direct through our pages.
Current 93: A Gothic Love Song
Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.
Spanish Flea at The Bronze
Spanish Flea at The Bronze: Goth or not goth? Tricky (hat tip to Elvis).
Related: Buffy and Faith Tainted Love vid. Oh yes.
December 14, 2006
When prequel and orgasm are made to rhyme
Halo Wars may redeem the word prequel with a real-time strategy counterpart to Bungee's epic trilogy. And it has a co-op mode... Flea-readers, I present for your consideration the Halo Wars trailer.
Note to self: Find permanent, lucrative employment then purchase ludicrous entertainment centre then plug into hypothetical Xbox 360. Then use imaginary free time to leave Toronto's low-res, poorly rendered "reality" and begin a new life of epic meaning kicking Covenant ass. In the meantime, watch this Halo 3 backstage video over and over again.
Faithless: Insomnia
Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.*
* I don't know for how much of the day that link has been problematical. I have switched it up for an excellent live cover version.
+2 to Awesome
"DM of the Rings" is an alarmingly perceptive Tolkien/D&D mash-up is the perfect diversion for cubicle-based former gamers. Or for any Flea-readers after an old school dungeon adventure who shall, for obvious reasons, remain nameless. "Remember: That which does not kill you was simply not permitted to do so for the purposes of the plot."
I was dating an attractive woman earlier this year who claimed to occasionally play D&D; it was too good to last. Not that I have played D&D since, like, Grade 8 you understand.
December 13, 2006
Mirna and Schmirna
Most excellent news: The Flea's favourite Amazing Race team of the one time I watched the show are returning for an all-star eleventh season.
Mirna is an attorney who graduated from the University of Maryland School of Law at age 23, the youngest in her class. While she describes herself as “sometimes too competitive, strong-willed and ambitious,” she blows off steam by doing some favorite activities such as running and cycling. Mirna also claims to be a frequent winner at blackjack tournaments.
But is Mirna single? Questions, questions.
The Cure: Charlotte Sometimes
Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.
Pindakaas
Dear Consulate General of the Netherlands in Toronto,
I have been reading about pindakaas and gather it has a sharper taste than North American sweet peanut butter; being closer in taste to a satay sauce. This sounds delicious! Here is my problem: How to secure a jar of pindakaas in Toronto? I would be grateful if you might suggest a purveyor of Dutch foods in the Toronto area.
Thank you for your help,
The Flea
PS - I have fond memories of my trips to Amsterdam. I did not try a local peanut butter sandwich at the time; a fact which, in retrospect, was an oversight.
The reply (with minor revisions):
You can purchase Dutch food at the following two locations:
Holland Store
2542 Weston Road (just south of hwy. 401)
Tel: 416 247-8659
Web: www.com.to/hollandstore
Niemeyer's Import
10 East Wilmott St., Unit 9
Richmond Hill
Tel: 905-764-0302
With best regards,
Cultural Department
This was very kind of the Dutch government but as I get nose-bleeds north of St. Clair I am SOL when it comes to these two suppliers. Fortunately, the Sister of the Flea reports a Dutch store in Ottawa so with any luck I can source my peanut butter there. In the meantime, if any representatives of the Netherlands should happen to read this they should please feel free to send me pindakaas for review purposes.
Customer service Update: Hugh Hewitt's lousy customer care experience with Hertz Rental Cars is worth a listen if only by way of catharsis for Flea-readers who, like me, have been repeatedly sold Shopper's Drug Mart merchandise priced higher at the cash than on the shelf or who have, heaven help you, imagined Loblaws customer service might answer a letter. Not to worry. I am going to remember that smug little Shopper's Drug Mart bastard in the coming After Times and demand trial by Thunderdome: Two men enter, one man leaves.
December 12, 2006
Assassin's Creed
I have never seen anything as amazing as this demonstration for Ubisoft's forthcoming Assassin's Creed; loving the parkour in this as much as in the new Bond, btw. Halo 3 is going to have its work cut out to be even awesomer. Time to consider a special PayPal donation button dedicated to the Flea's XBox 360 fund...
Also worth a look is this Mass Effect footage from E3 if only for the Firefly non-steady cam landing shots (via Opposable Thumbs).
Butlerian Jihad Update: Idiot Toys reports "another small victory for John Connor and the rest of mankind!" (with a tip of the hat to David Janes)
Tangerine Dream: Love On A Real Train
Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.
Galactica game
I worked up the street from the Elliott Avedon Museum and Archive of Games in Waterloo, Ontario for three years without learning of its existence. Shame. Though I believe I own a copy of this Battlestar Galactica boardgame... it is almost the right time of year for rummaging through the ancestral closets of the parental units of the Flea! Though upon reflection the only collectible I want to be certain has remained intact is my old Haunted Mansion game... Doom Buggies rule.
December 11, 2006
Buy old masters. They fetch a better price than old mistresses.
The 2006 Turner Prize defies convention as it is awarded to an artist, viz a painter. Tomma Abts' work is not my tasse de thé but it is a big step up from dung Madonnas.
Traditionalists may be doubly pleased. In an annual tournament that has been dominated for years by "concepts" and "ideas" rather than beauty, Abts, 38, says that her paintings have absolutely no meaning. The first woman painter to win, she was presented with her prize by Yoko Ono at Tate Britain last night.
Certainly, the Stuckists will be pleased. Still, I could do without the Yoko Ono bit; her involvement guarantees the presence of saddo Yoko Ono fans.
KLF: What Time Is Love (Pure Trance Mix)
The Rites of Mu is, amongst other thing, an excellent source document for the imminent cubicle revolution. Start sewing your robes now and get a head start! Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.
Millwall brick
A Millwall brick is just the ticket when you are caught short without a sword-cane or telescoping steel baton. Worth a moment to pick up the basics: This plus an airline seat strapped to your distaff arm may save your life.
December 08, 2006
Wonderland
Didn't like my Saturnalia post? That's it! It's Christmas at the Flea! Heidi Klum is the reason for the season! Sie ist wunderschön!
Wonderland! Wonderland! Shining stars! Jingle bells! Angel boobies!*
*That last one is not strictly X-Mas related.
Combichrist: This is my Rifle
Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.
Fictional religions
The gnomes of Wikipedia have thoughtfully provided a list of fictional religions. A possible class project: Adopt one of these as your own and live by its tenets for, say, a week. For example, this might be the season to keep what you kill. Hilarity ensues!
December 07, 2006
Finish the fight
The new Halo 3 trailer is on-line. It looks like Master Chief has at least one new toy. Bungie.net Content Manager, Frank O’Connor elaborates:
Frankie: Why does the shield have to be from a grenade? Obviously the object is grenade-like. But who says it’s a grenade?
North American Flea-readers might consider registering for the beta...
Duran Duran: Lonely in Your Nightmare
Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.
I believe there is something about this in Genesis 1-2 now you mention it
Solomonia has coverage of a recent Iraq/Japan beach volleyball spectacular. Not all that much coverage is involved, truth be told. Remember this the next time some wet blanket claims things were better under the Ba'athists.
December 06, 2006
Bellissima
I googled Monica Bellucci this morning to see if she had got up to anything newsworthy lately. Let's see... let's see... Ahh, here we go: She may go to China next year to promote an Italian film festival. Gripping stuff as I am sure you will agree.
On a related note, Bellucci describes herself as a geisha.
Quite. Though I think something was lost in translation about "phoning in" a rôle.
Emilie Autumn: Misery Loves Company
Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.
After all, it is not as if the Romans ever did anything for us
Tim Willis argues it is payback time; I for one look forward to my 40 acres and a mule. Reparations for collective British trauma suffered under the Roman conquest should come to that much at least (via Quotulatiousness).
Now composing my letter to the Italian embassy in Ottawa. Though I admit a case might be made for a different addressee as successor state to the Roman Empire.
December 05, 2006
Feeling like there's just no SLACK?
I'd say it is a SAFE BET - iffn' I was a betting man - that most FLEA-READERS are familiar with the Church of the SubGenius, know the TEACHINGS of J.R. "Bob" Dobbs and have become Masters of SLACK. BUT...
... have you WITNESSED this SubGenius Commercial?
... have you EYESLIMED the Day of the SubGenius?
... have you TESTED YOUR SLACK against Subgenius Hypnotic Induction Video # 1? (nsfw*)
Once you have PASSED THE TEST and have learned tomorrow is the End of the World and you may die then SEND MONEY TO THE FLEA and brag to your friends and co-workers.
* Especially the slackness in your slacks!
Hawkwind: Orgone Accumulator
Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.
If we persist in this we truly will have brought the calamity upon ourselves
The Cylons: Why do they hate us? Mike Campbell reports on a case of the wobblies on the Galactica bridge.
Even President Roslin's more level-headed response that it was a thousand good and bad decisions/actions by us that lead to the Cylon attack.
Whatever, it was us. It was something we did to them. Why would the enemy possibly want to hurt us, to kill us, to destroy our way of life?! We can't agree other than it was something we did.
He concludes with an assessment of their chances. It is a forecast for those of us watching the show as much as for the rag tag fugitive remnants of the Colonies.
December 04, 2006
Embedded
By now most Flea-readers will know Bill Ardolino is off to Iraq to report from the front lines of the Long War; a worthy cause. Perhaps the blogosphere could pass the hat for putting together a survival kit.
Or for a lonely citizen journalist! Oh, and Ardolino, don't die or anything while you are over there.
In unrelated new: outer space exposure; the truth revealed! Must. Relieve. The pressure.
Brian Slade: The Ballad of Maxwell Demon
Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.
Markia Shchakim
Some time back I mentioned an Israeli F-15 that managed to land on one wing. The video link was broken almost as soon as I posted, however, so that was a bit disappointing. Well, here it is. Yes, much of this is a History Channel simulation but the photos at the end are quite authentic.
December 01, 2006
Pimps At Sea
Rumour has it Microsoft management is playing a Halo 3 multiplayer beta on-line as I type these words and well in advance of the registrations - and the new trailer - scheduled for this Monday. GamePro has seventeen screenshots...
Sometime next year.
The End of Númenor
Pope Benedict XVI recently offered words of admonition to the people of Canada and our government regarding our thoughts on abortion and same-sex marriage. Quite what business the Bishop of Rome has in lecturing those of us who are not Catholic is a discussion for another time. My reason for raising the point is simply to observe the Holy See finds no difficulty in offering moral guidance nor indeed prescriptive statements to the world in general. This is to say nothing of a centuries long martial tradition and an explicit, exhaustively thought out doctrine of Just War. Yet Benedict is reticent in the face of threats to his person and acts of mayhem toward his flock. Coming from a long-time head of the Inquisition this reaction can only be described as disappointing.
Which is to reach the first part of my point; I cannot think of a church near Flea Towers which has offered support for either the Long War in general nor the Iraq front of that War in particular. The Catholics are against it. The Anglicans are against it. The United Church is against it.* And my own local Quaker Meeting is reliably against this and every war.** It is remotely possible the Baptists up the street from me take a different view; what with their being supposedly hardcore and offering an Alpha Course. I would still be shocked should this prove to be the case.
I struggle to imagine a Muslim denomination that would risk war for fear of the loss of innocent life; I hope it shall not always be so. Given the parliaments of dictators which have formed the horizon of their imaginations until so very recently, I expect they are going to take some convincing yet. We are most probably going to lose a city or two before we succeed. If I was a betting man I would lay odds on the annihilation of Paris or Manchester or Los Angeles or some other target of opportunity before we take up the task in earnest; but for all that I am an optimist.
Let us face facts. One day the West will fall. Perhaps not this day nor even tomorrow. But one day some other people*** will take up responsibility for patrolling the high seas against piracy, guaranteeing global trade, underwriting world finance; take up the task of acting as the arbiter of small conflicts and a shield against big wars. Perhaps one day a vibrant, democratic China or India will take the place in the sun once claimed by Great Britain or Rome of antiquity.**** On that day our American neighbours will at long last set down a burden for which they never asked and for which precious few have thought to thank them. If that day comes as we might hope for it then our sons and daughters may look back with some pride on the work we are doing now.
Which brings me to my central point. One day the West will fall. But if the Liberty for which we fight is taken up by the world then the West will not have failed.
*Former Presbyterians and Congregationalists.
**And unsurprisingly is a version of Christianity only to be found in those countries where the neighbours may be relied upon to take up the sword to protect the entire community, Quakers included.
***Or an evolutionary offshoot of raccoons if things go rather permanently badly for us all.
****China, perhaps. But never France and certainly not the United Nations.
Annie Lennox: Into the West
Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.*
*Be with you in a moment; I seem to have got some dust stuck in my eye.
