Ghost of a flea

Kappa no kawa nagare

Last year I had the opportunity to present a paper to a three-day seminar on publishing at the School of Oriental and African Studies, University of London. Spectral Doubling in Suzuki Koji's "Ring" was reasonably well received; especially considering only three or four attendees had seen any one of the Japanese, Korean or American versions of its film adaptation. One Japanese academic thought my structural analysis was fine but felt it was unlikely a Westerner could fully appreciate the horror of the story, unfamiliar as we are with water kami. The darkness, the chill and the damp that are so much atmospherics to a Western audience are freighted with sinister and fantastic significance to Japanese viewers. Now Pink Tentacle points to an archaeological find at Umi in Fukuoka. To some observers the googly-eyed earthenware head is clearly a kappa. Given Suzuki's Ring, this is not what I had expected.

Children and cucumbers may be good for kappa care and feeding. Just keep them away from the wasabi: Even non-Ringu kappa can be terrifying.

Paddle to the Sea Update: We do have water kami, of course. I have been unable to find the film on-line otherwise I would share it will Flea-readers everywhere. Canadians only have to read the words "Please, put me back in the water" to know what I am talking about. This Wayne Omaha tribute leaves me with a lump in my throat. You'll make it to the sea, carved-wooden-guy!

Hanayo: Joe le Taxi

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

Big in Japan

Countless "smitten" Japanese women are in search of eligible South Korean men. Thousands have gone so far as to sign up with a Japan/Korea dating agency to find a Yong-joon Bae of their very own* and some attention from men described as the "Italians of Asia".**

*Yes, I want to slap him too. But he is reportedly worth US$100 so clearly he has got something most of us have not.
**Have these women met any Italian men for purposes of comparison? I think not.

Your army is Poland's army.

You scored as Poland. Your army is Poland's army. Your tenacity will form a concept in the history of your nation and you're also ready to continue fighting even if your country is occupied by the enemy. Other nations that are included in this category are Greece, Norway, Belgium and the Netherlands.

One of the tables is giving my browser indigestion. Those bar graph results should read: Poland, 88%; British and the Commonwealth, 81%; Finland, 75%; Italy, 75%; France, Free French and the Resistance, 69%; Japan, 50%; United States, 38%; Soviet Union, 31%; Germany, 19%.

While I am pleased by my Britain and Commonwealth result it is an honour to stand with my fellow Pole, John Donovan.

Coil: Egyptian Basses

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

Muslim Heidi

Having just watched another Americanized "War of the Worlds" I have some appreciation of the reasons people are tempted to make foreign stories local and why it is usually a bad aesthetic choice to do so. But then Toronto stands in for so many American cities on television that foreign programming often seems strangely familiar.

Quite right.

Conservation Update Part the First: Energy, Mines and Resources reminds us of the pre-Thunderdome days when we still had energy (via Daimnation!).

Conservation Update Part the Second: The is no Climate Change but Global Warming and Al Gore tries to Profit (via Tim Blair).

Mencken Sees Tranquility Arise in U.S. From Ashes of Prohibition

Five years of Prohibition have had, at least, this one benign effect: they have completely disposed of all the favorite arguments of the Prohibitionists. None of the great boons and usufructs that were to follow the passage of the Eighteenth Amendment has come to pass. There is not less drunkenness in the Republic, but more. There is not less crime, but more. There is not less insanity, but more. The cost of government is not smaller, but vastly greater. Respect for law has not increased, but diminished.
- H.L. Mencken

November 1933 strikes me to have been a rather bleak time in which to have lived. At least there was the demise of the 18th Amendment for which to give thanks and with it the possibility of a more refined culinary sensibility. Shelia Graham took up the subject with noted curmudgeon, H.L. Mencken.

On a related note, is a useful resource in the form of 365 excuses to get soused (Mencken makes the September edition). That end of WWII graphic cocktail graphic ought to be a T-shirt.

They call it Samba

But it sounds more like Bossa Nova to me. Either way, this one goes out to Flea-readers everywhere: You all make my day.

Sic semper tyrannis

Trey Parker and Matt Stone say that thanks to some vigilant United States Marines a former tyrant is "repeatedly" watching his animated alter-ego (via INDC Journal).

Jumping the Gate

This is one of those good news, bad news posts. The good news is that Morena Baccarin is stellar as problem child Adria on Stargate SG-1. The bad news is that her "Counterstrike" appearance follows hard on the heels of the series' cancellation by Sci Fi Channel; this despite a recent ratings bump from instant classic, "200". While Sci Fi has re-ordered Stargate Atlantis for a fourth season only ten more episodes of SG-1 are scheduled to air next year, ending with episode 215. Now MGM is scrambling for alternatives to save the franchise as Sci Fi claims their contract prevents MGM from producing the show for another U.S. network.* Additional episodes, a feature film, tv movies, a mini-series or a third Stargate series are all possibilities. Sci Fi Channel's attitude seems churlish. I imagine continuity issues with Stargate Atlantis might present a problem but present little excuse to prevent MGM from continuing to produce a show two million viewers a week want to watch, albeit for another network.

Save Stargate SG-1!

It is true the series had been flagging. With season ten, Stargate SG-1 is cable television's longest running drama and longest running sf series.** After such a run, fresh ideas are inevitably going to be thin on the ground; perhaps particularly by contrast with the new-model Stargate Atlantis. But an odd and unsatisfying shift in the writing half-way through Atlantis Season 2, and an infusion of new blood for "Fargate SG-1", has made the older show seem new by comparison. Adding Firefly*** to the Gate travel experience with Morena Baccarin enlivens off-world British Columbia scenery nicely.

*MGM claims Stargate is second in importance only to James Bond in its franchise ensemble.
**This according to the linked Variety article. I expect they mean continuous series. Or possibly this is limited to cable. Dr. Who has, of course, been running for decades longer on British broadcast television; albeit intermittently.
***"Inara" is the third Firefly alum to make a Stargate appearance. Adam Baldwin (Jayne Cobb) appeared in Stargate SG-1 Series 7 episode(s), "Heroes" while Jewel Staite (Kaylee Frye) appeared as a lovable Wraith in Stargate Atlantis Season 2 episode, "Instinct".

First they came for Pluto

But I was not a Plutonian so I said nothing. Then they came for Uranus.

They don't have tvs in rehab Update: Denis Leary takes Mel Gibson for a walk (via Solomonia).

Deer Hunter Update: Michael Portillo translates French rhetoric into English, a language remarkably similar to American (via The Belmont Club).

Donuts not included Update: The Toronto Star says an Armet Armored Vehicles Inc. Gurkha "makes a Hummer look like a chick car" (via Tim Blair).

Dr. Grordborts Infallible Aether Oscillators

Weta Workshop designer Greg Broadmore has designed three v. Flea-ish steampunk side-arms of the Victorian future. I am particularly impressed with the look of the Manmelter 3600ZX.

So This is Goodbye

K-Punk asks us to imagine "an alternative history of pop in which glam rock was played on synthesizers." The result is the second album release by The Junior Boys, "So This is Goodbye". I first heard the first album at a record store on Roncesvalles by High Park. After "More Than Real" I dropped whatever I was looking for and walked out with music I had never heard before.* Almost the perfect way to encounter new music; unforced, unfeigned and serendipitous.

Arguably the most important moment in the whole Star Wars saga finds Luke Skywalker on his own looking out over the desert at the setting of the twin suns of Tatooine. In another scene, he explains to Threepio that "if there is a bright center to the universe, you are on the world farthest from it." Lucas is singaling his audience that Dorothy is about to leave Kansas in search of adventure. More than that, he is reaching for the place in any of us who have ever wanted to escape Tatooine. Someplace, anyplace, has to be better than this.

Regular Flea-readers will know I miss England. Not just the catastrophically glam bits of post-imperial London that are my stomping grounds or the majestic and foreign northern wastes of south Manchester. I miss Englishness as much as England. I miss Boots and Tesco Metro and the odd fillings in corner sandwiches packed for journeys by train. I miss black cabs and Silk Cuts** and the Vivienne Westwood tie selection downstairs at Liberty of London. I miss the Norrington Room and Boddingtons*** and shopping for bargains at the Penhaligon's store at Bicester. All sorts of things. It took me years to get there and once there it never occurred to me to leave.

There were a number of things which brought me back to Canada, some too personal to write about on a Friday morning. But one was sufficiently innocuous for this morning's Flea and illustrative of my point (which I am getting to); this being an ad for women's deodorant. I had been living in Manchester for two years at that point. The place has a ruins of Melniboné feel to it. The natives are friendly but it is difficult to trace an organic link between the people and the cyclopean Victorian engineering of the Ship Canal or condos in the ruins at Castlefield. More than that is the constant low-grade spookiness of the place. People may joke about the rain but it is always, always there. As one Texan friend put it, "It is hard to live in a place for so long that is so dark."

By contrast was the deodorant ad. So far from England's grim and exhausted north was a towering American landscape of shining steel and glass and women on the go. Not Melniboné but Barsoom.**** Then I spotted the streetcar and Union Station and some familiar cabs. My first thought was "That's Toronto!" closely followed by "What the hell am I doing here?" Toronto has neighbourhoods and blazing summer sun and Lake Ontario and just maybe the possibility of becoming an interesting place to be.***** In Toronto the future has yet to become impossible. I do not think you can ask much more from life let alone a city.

It is with considerable pleasure, therefore, that I read K-Punk's FACT interview with The Junior Boys. Mark has already underlined his geographical obsession with their music. He describes it as "more middle of the tundra than middle of the road" and "a deeply Canadian record: crisp and white, like the Canadian winter." When I read his blog take last March I thought the metaphor was a bit forced; a result of an Englishman confronted with something Canadian and finding he has nothing whatsoever to say about it.****** But Mark returns to the same theme with the interview and with it an apparent interest in the space of Canadianity. Perhaps it is me that is selling the place short.

The Junior Boys' Jeremy Greenspan considers making music an hour outside Toronto.

Exactly right. And something I have found difficult to explain to people from just about anywhere else (excepting Australians) (and sometimes South Africans). The great empty spaces of Tatooine are not such a bad place to be creative. After all, they had the Cantina Band. Still, I think setting their next project in Shanghai is an excellent idea. If I can come up with the cash I have been thinking of doing the same thing myself. The Junior Boys album is out in Canada and will be released elsewhere by mid-September. I have been listening to "In The Morning" over and over again on MySpace and suggest you do the same.

*I first heard The Streets in the same place.
**Foul as they are.
***People think Mentos ads are great but YouTube will have reached critical mass as soon as someone posts that Ferrero Rocher ad with the ambassador ("Excellente!"). I have been looking for it on-line for years now. Not this one. I am after the English-language version of this one.
****Given half a chance many English people will corner Americans and explain to them how lucky they are to be living in such a young country without stultifying European social conventions; this being the depressive phase of a bipolar condition familiar to Americans who have endured the condescension and cowboy remarks attending manic episodes of the same. This despite America being the oldest republic in the world and most of Europe an undergraduate social science experiment in comparison. Canadians don't get the same flak as they are generally considered to be too boring to be worth having a go at.
*****Plus, cities have a way of becoming cool approximately three months after I arrive.
******Remember, Canada is just possibly more boring than Belgium.

Tanya Stephens: These Streets

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

Appreciation of Television

If might is right, then love has no place in the world. It may be so, it may be so. But I don't have the strength to live in a world like that, Rodrigo.

I expect we have all seen The Mission. Beautiful and moving in a mid-'80s kind of way. Aspects of the film have dated - the once haunting Ennio Morricone soundtrack has not stood up well* - but its underlying themes have endured. These being, in no particular order, a sense of loss for a vanished innocence, the evils of colonialism and imperialism**, a side-swipe at the Catholic Church and the moral superiority of any and all "non-Western" cultures. I am not in the business here of defending any particular element of this cluster of sentiments. Colonialism, say, needs to be defined before it can be discussed, let alone critiqued in any particular historical circumstance. Those Canadians who accuse Israel of colonialism do so blissfully unaware, and for all that uncaring, that while Israel was never a colony Canada is made up of a number of them. The same well-intentioned protestors who demand "colonialists" cede disputed territory to any fascist organization making demands would never dream of giving up their homes built on land taken by force or coercion from First Nations peoples. This is not a matter of cognitive dissonance; it is an hypocrisy founded in double-standards so deeply ingrained they hardly merit comment.

The "colonialism" charge is not just a matter of semantics. It is not possible to bring reason or a coherent system of ethics to bear on the ongoing conflict in Lebanon, let alone the wider war, without a reasonable and coherent grip on the facts. But it is not the cynicism of Stalinist organizations like International ANSWER or the opportunism of Trostskyist International Socialists that swell the ranks of street demonstrations (though their all purpose outrage is effective). The overwhelming majority of any sizable street protest in Toronto is composed of people whose sentiments are well-meaning if often ill-informed. Not just a matter of semantics... In fact, a quick lesson in semantics would go a long way to clearing the air. Our obligations to victims, and the framing of victimhood, are a good place to start.

Here is the problem. People are not Ewoks. This is easy to forget when swept along by stories like The Mission. After all, who celebrates the violation of Eden? But the irony of most pop-culture criticism directed at Christianity, or particular globe-spanning expressions of it such as the Catholic Church, is that the criticism itself is almost invariably grounded in a Christian worldview, Christian rhetoric and Christian ethics. Without our stories of Eden there is no Eden to defile. Without our stories of the Fall there are no noble savages to despoil. A simple thought-experiment illustrates the point: Imagine a Muslim director's version of The Mission. There are time-lines where soft-focus imagery and the tragedy of a conquered people's fate might be represented with sympathy by a post-imperial Islam. That future has yet to arrive. Films like The Mission are possible because directors are free to represent the fallibility of our history and of our faith. Arguably more important are audiences whose worldview includes sympathy for the suffering and a sense of responsibilty to act accordingly.

But people are not Ewoks. It is not a mistake to criticize our empires of old or the continuing expression of racism and prejudice. It is not a mistake to be appalled by the wars of conquest or the incalculable suffering brought about by epidemic disease and slavery. It is a mistake to imagine the conquered peoples lived in a state of innocence before our rapacious ancestors arrived on the scene. There are two reasons the Eden story leads to error when imposed on our history or contemporary matters of policy. First, turning "the Other" into Ewoks infantilizes them. By this dodge, we well-meaning people of the West may feel guilty but all the decisions remain in our hands. From dam-building to debt-relief to "Do They Know It's Christmas?" the empires shape-shift into NGOs and the old crusading philanthropy carries on uninterrupted.

The second mistake lies in taking cultural difference for existential innocence. In so doing we mistake our myths for history; our sentiment for circumstance. It is impossible to make rational decisions on this basis. Even the relatively untroubled neighbourhoods of Paradise make West Side Story look like, well, a musical. Coke-bottles from the sky and undergraduate anthropology classes notwithstanding, the Bushmen of the Kalahari endure a murder-rate forty times that of downtown Detroit. Teaching cultural ecology for several years taught me one thing: Pointing out this sort of fact is no route to popularity among well-meaning undergraduate students. So much education has no relationship to the world as it is but a re-enactment of the world as we wish it to be. If only the wishful thinking was confined to the classroom. It is one thing for Brangelina to bring their child into the world at an armed camp and call it Eden. It is quite another to decide issues of war and peace on the same basis.

We are not uniquely guilty. And where we find ourselves so it is only through a system of ethics and a sense of justice that is just as much our own as the violence in our history. Most people in most places have been untroubled by any such doubt. Take the Aztecs, for example.*** Recent excavations at Zultepec/Tecuaque have unearthed evidence of 550 people slaughtered and eaten in the early Conquest period.

Contemporary apologists for Aztec imperialism and colonialism dismiss the industrial scale ritual sacrifice and cannibalism brought about by their rule; brought about by their culture and worldview. Most often their line of argument is an all-purpose smear of racism leveled at the archaeologists. As if the Aztecs would consider charges of sacrifice and cannibalism to be an insult. Imagine an alternate history where the history books were written in Nahuatl and The Mission a story of an Aztec colony in Iberia. Christian and Jewish and Muslim hearts would all beat alike atop the sacrificial pyramids of Grenada. No need for catgut to string the violins.

"Too late now. Forget it. Mmm... your instructor in History and Moral Philosophy seems to think well of you."
"He does?" I was surprised. "What did he say?"
Weiss smiled. "He says that you are not stupid, merely ignorant and prejudiced by your environment. From him that is high praise - I know him."
It didn't sound like high praise to me! That stuck-up stiff-necked old -
"And," Weiss went on, "a boy who gets a 'C-minus' in Appreciation of Television can't be all bad."

Having taught Appreciation of Television for three years I endorse this sentiment with all my heart.**** A friend of mine is off to Salvador de Bahia for a year. His posting is to the oldest university in the Americas, descended from the medical school the Jesuits established when they first arrived. They still call the place Paradise.

*I still dig his spaghetti western stylings. And I watched The Battle of Algiers on a sampling expedition.
**Actual colonialism and actual imperialism involving colonies and empires. This as opposed to the generic and disarticulated terms of abuse these words have become.
***Pre-Colonial Brazil left us little comparable archaeological evidence.
****Once again from Robert Heinlein's Starship Troopers.

Lacuna Coil: Enjoy the Silence

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

The Battle of Southend

One of the most important events which never happened took place on Day 7 following the Martian landing at Horsell Common, Woking.* The engagement of HMS Thunder Child with elements of the Martian invasion force in the English Channel off the Essex coast represents one of few human victories in the War of the Worlds. Thunder Child was an ironclad torpedo ram, presumably a later sister ship to HMS Polyphemus (pictured above). Nothing is known about her Captain or valiant crew.

In H.G. Wells' alternate ending to the novel, the Martians prove to be disease-resistant** and rule the Earth for generations, using humans as livestock. Wells offers a pessimistic appraisal, one of his characters arguing the bulk of the middle-classes would soon accommodate themselves to their fate. Chapter Seven, "The Man On Putney Hill" is worth re-reading in its entirety. Yes, Wells' narrator decides the man is a dreamer, and some of the man's assessment is cold blooded, but when faced with the domestication or extermination of the human species his thinking is not unreasonable. This dreamer certainly does not deserve his treatment at the hands of Steven Spielberg; from working-class spirit-of-resistance to a mad dog fit only to be put down by an heroic Tom Cruise. Thus does Spielberg inadvertantly sum up the spirit of a debauched and degenerate twilight of civilization.

It need not end with a wimper. Some might say Thunder Child's sacrifice was in vain. The Continent could only provide temporary shelter from Martian forces and subsequent encounters with the Royal Navy end in disaster as the Martian Heat-Ray proved a devastating stand off weapon. Such thinking is profoundly mistaken. These last five years I have come to the conclusion that for people lacking a fighting elan there can be no explaining a simple truth: You can always try to take one with you.

"There won't be any more blessed concerts for a million years or so; there won't be any Royal Academy of Arts, and no nice little feeds at restaurants. If it's amusement you're after, I reckon the game is up. If you've got any drawing-room manners or a dislike to eating peas with a knife or dropping aitches, you'd better chuck 'em away. They ain't no further use."

Ramming speed.

*In June of some year early in the twentieth-century.
**Die you Martian bastards!

The chances of anything coming from Mars are a million to one Update: Jeff Wayne's The War of the Worlds still scares three kinds of living Hell out of me. This fan promo video features introductory prog-rock amazingness for Flea-readers who have yet to hear the musical. These interior illustrations from various printed editions of the story are quite wonderful. I wants the Edward Gorey edition especially.

But still they come Update: The people of Woking are clearly mad.

Nana Caymmi w. Milton Nascimento: Cais

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

Holocaust International Cartoon Contest (Team Canada)

Sequential hosts an interview with Marc Pageau, lone Canadian entrant to the Holocaust International Cartoon Contest; if this Dorothy Dixer "interview" format merits the name. The post features the first of four submissions by Pageau that the reality-based cartoonist has chosen to make public. The resulting words and image are at the exact limit of what might expect from someone who thinks a man in a concentration camp uniform is a source of hilarity.

I am not surprised by what the interview reveals. Pageau chose to participate in a competition whose purpose is to mock, belittle or outright deny the Shoah.* In fact, despite my questions he has yet to take the opportunity to clearly state his opinion of what is an historical fact. And from what I can make out this is the highlight of Pageau's career. I cannot imagine what I might feel as a Jewish Montrealer looking at this cartoon, reading the interview and learning how little my family counted to one of my neighbours. To repeat myself, perhaps Pageau's wit might next explore the humour in the massacre of the Roma or medical experiments on gay men and twins.

Some of Pageau's reasoning:

Which would be fine excepting two small problems. First, I imagine most German Jews "shared genes" with the Nazis who murdered them. Second, Iran is Persian, not Arab. But such are mere details to someone whose "anti-stupidity" Crusade finds only one unequivocal target; the "United-Staters" to the south. Pageau attempts to cast his participation as a freedom of speech issue. This is to ignore the rationale advanced by Contest organizers.

Is it possible the Contest organizers actually believe what they say? Perhaps. But if so, Packwood's Law is in effect: Sufficiently advanced stupidity is indistinguishable from existential evil.

Pageau has the freedom to express himself as he does because better men died for his right to do so. He has the ability to express himself as he does because he does not have the misfortune to be a Jew in Hitler's Germany or Ahmadinejad's Iran. But then to some people freedom is best expressed by a hurtful, attention-seeking temper-tantrum; no matter the mockery of the dead, no matter the threat to the living, no matter the embarrassment to their fellow countrymen. The fact is I do not care what Pageau has to say about his motivations; his actions speak for themselves.

And a final thought for Marc, your attempt to colour your actions as Québécois reaction to English prejudice is offensive not only to Steve Janke and myself; it is an insult to the people of Québec who will share my revulsion for your cartoon as soon as they see it. Je me souviens, aussi.

*I quote from the contest page:

So, the Holocaust did not happen, the Holocaust was a long time ago and nothing to be concerned about, the Holocaust is insignificant compared to Muslim suffering, the Holocaust is Europe's responsibility and nothing to do with Persian hegemonic ambitions. With only four impossible things to believe before breakfast the mullahs have their work cut out for them.

Lost in translation Update: So you say it was a Holocust contest? Well that's completely different.

The remedy that our enemies have chosen

...we are not only fighting hostile armies, but a hostile people, and must make old and young, rich and poor, feel the hard hand of war, as well as their organized armies. I know that this recent movement of mine through Georgia has had a wonderful effect in this respect. Thousands who had been deceived by their lying newspapers to believe that we were being whipped all the time now realize the truth, and have no appetite for a repetition of the same experience...
- William Tecumseh Sherman*

Major-General William Tecumseh Sherman was an all-time American bad-ass but one of his namesakes is a hero to Canadians. A couple hundred years after the fact it is good to discover once warring neighbours find themselves allied in purpose. This Matthew Brady portrait of General Sherman illustrates something of the man's character; not someone to cross under any circumstances. This August 22, and with at least one Mississauga housewife naming her son Khattab, I want to state for the record my first born son will be named Tecumseh. Though Sherman would also be just fine.**

Live your life so that the fear of death can never enter your heart. When you arise in the morning, give thanks for the morning light. Give thanks for your life and your strength. Give thanks for your food and for the joy of living. And if perchance you see no reason for giving thanks, rest assured the fault is in yourself.
- Tecumseh

*I would have quoted "That’s a valiant flea that dare eat his breakfast on the lip of a lion." due to the flea angle but I have it out of context and consequently am unsure what he meant by it.
**Not that there is any immediate prospect of such a first born coming into existence; and with apologies to the Parental Units of the Flea for my obvious lack of organizational skills.

Da Nhat Yen & Chosen: Voulez Vous

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance. Now with extra Flea!

Fighting ship pr0n

I am posting this link to the horrifying end of the Austro-Hungarian battleship Szent István mainly because I am astonished there is newsreel footage of the event. Also, to put an end to all the unfair remarks directed toward Captain Georg von Trapp from The Sound of Music. Landlocked, perhaps... but they so to did have a navy. Along similar lines, I had also never seen imagery of the post-WWII Japanese fleet. Haunting stuff. There is quite a bit of death in the following links so best not to get too gung ho about any of it (excepting this brutal footage of a Deutschland vs Iowa engagement).

Military Channel, YouTube user kcmmdr and the Flea are delighted to present somebody's idea of the top ten* fighting ship classes:

No 10, the Hood class battlecruiser;

No 9, the Deutschland class "pocket" battleship;

No 8, the Essex class aircraft carrier;

No 7, the Bismarck class battleship;

No 6, the North Carolina class battleship;

No 5, the Fletcher class destroyer;

No 4, the Ticonderoga class missile cruiser;

No 3, the Queen Elizabeth class dreadnaught;

No 2, the Nimitz class aircraft carrier, and;

No 1, the Iowa class fast battleship.

But wait, there's more!

Nimitz carrier operations, USS Wisconsin 16" guns considered, Russian carrier Admiral Kuznetsov doing its thing and some unavoidably sinister Japanese Maritime Self Defense Force footage should be more than sufficient for your immediate cubicle-enhanced naval-viewing needs.

*Minus the Los Angeles class nuclear-propelled fast attack submarine which could put an end of most of the list and then break for tea or whatever it is the Yanks drink in the afternoon.

The Hidden Imam

In comments to my recent cartoon rant, Chris Taylor points to an alarming and sinister convergence scheduled for August 22.* On the one hand there are apocalyptic rumblings from Iran about something slouching through the dayplanners of Qom. Bernard Lewis explains:

Skeptical Flea-readers might note that blood-curdling froth and nonsense are only so much Persian rhetorical embroidery on diplomacy as usual. Certainly the sage opinion of the Annex is that Iranian nuclear weapons, should they have ambitions toward any such, are nothing to be concerned about because "they would never use them." Well, thank goodness for that. But have these useful idiots optimists considered what Fate's other hand has in store for tomorrow? They have not. For August 22 is the date Heiress Records releases Paris Hilton's debut album. Ask the Pollyanna School of Foreign Policy to explain that one away.

As Mayor of Tehran, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad widened streets in preparation for the triumphant return of the Twelfth Imam. He and his Hojjatieh brethren may be alarmed at what emerges from the Well at Jamkaran.

If tomorrow the world ends
Why shouldn't we be with the one we really love?
Now tell me who have you been dreaming of
I and I alone, oh wo-o-o

Iä! The Gods Are Crazy! Iä! The Stars Are Blind!
Iä! Iä! Hilton!

*That would be tomorrow.

Gematria Update: When proto-Semitic spelling conventions concerning the morphology and representation of complex vowels are taken into account, "Paris Hilton" is an exact anagram for "Nyarlathotep".

Mat Weddle: Hey Ya

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

Wii vs PS3

Just so we are clear. This mock Wii vs PS3 ad is just wrong. Wrong, wrong, wong. Sautéed in wrong sauce, as Tommy Lee might put it. And let's face facts: Tommy Lee knows from wrong sauce.

So, umm, don't watch it.

Methinks the mullahs are up to some hijinx

Recent exposures of sock-puppet commentary have left me suspicious of this "internet" gizmo. It is with a somewhat jaundiced eye, therefore, that I consider the list of entrants to the Holocaust International Cartoon Contest. Take David Varen, for example. Varen is listed as one of four UK entrants and, given his name is more distinctive than Robert Edwards or Bill Smith I decided to "Google Search" him first. The results were suggestive. Aside from republished versions of the contest list I can find only one reference to the man's existence. This reference being to "Muslims", a document detailing various ways in which the world has been unfair to Muslims*; not much of an advertisement for God's blessing, but I digress. The following is from Part 7, "Christian Missionaries in Islamic Countries":

Furthing googling might have been more productive had the article mentioned which Encyclopedia of Christianity was in play though the non-presence of Varen in any other context raises a red flag (or green flag, as is your culture). Here is the fun part... the sole non-contest reference to David Varen's existence is from a document hosted by the English Radio section of the Islamic Republic of Iran Broadcasting website. It is possible David Varen's missionary activities are largely Persian; we all have our hobbies, after all. Though it strikes me to be rather more likely Iran's propaganda ministry has had so few takers for its Jew-hatred that they have had to resort to sock-puppets. Of course, Varen can clear this right up by sending me an email. Be sure to include your cartoon, David!

*Here is the cached page.

Between pop music and the Puritans I am not neutral

Writing for The New Republic Online, Elspeth Reeve has attracted attention and criticism for her defense of Ann Coulter. While the Flea's comment section has been a bit muted this August holiday season, I would like to deflect any Coulter-themed bun fights as I have no interest in defending her pronouncements or indeed Reeve's defense of them.

Excepting this bit of the apologia which is spot on.

Reeve's observation has the advantage of being exactly right. First, in the question of the explicit aims of the great ponderous technocratic mass of the Western world's managerial and diplomatic classes. We are fine with Islam provided it is an attenuated strain of the memeplex; an Islam long on colourful folk costumes, possibly some multicultural dance and, we can only pray, cogniscent of the full equality of women. Which is to say to the Puritans among the Ummah, a respect for an Islam which is no Islam at all. Which brings me to the second point of view most often obscured by academics and media authorities alike, that being the perspective of those Muslims who feel threatened not by post-colonialism or poverty but by what we Westerners have become. It is women's liberation, gay marriage and rock and/or roll looming over the Muslim world not the sometimes hokey faith of darkest Red America. The imperialism so troubling to the Taliban is the same which nettled the cultural Marxists of the Frankfurt School of the 1920s and continues to vex their latter day counterparts. It is this shared hatred and fear of democracy, whiskey and the sexy which brings "progressives", their equally anti-fun Stalinist allies of convenience, white power morons, latter-day Coughlinites and fascist supporters of Hezb'Allah together in street protest.

I continue to believe it is Britney Spears, not bombs, that will win us this war. If not Britney Spears then her sisters in that monstrous regiment of Madonna, Paris Hilton, Angelina Jolie, etc. and so on until the fight is done.

Which brings me in a round about way to my point. If you are a mullah or self-styled sheik at war with the West it is handy to sum up your foes as "Jews and Crusaders". Such have been the Satans of choice since the days of the Recitation. The Jews certainly present no challenge to the categories of a contemporary Nazi/Taliban worldview. Hezb'Allah policy, for example, is to maintain a state of "open war until the elimination of Israel and until the death of the last Jew on earth." Something to remember the next time Hassan Nasrallah is lionized in the streets of Toronto and Montreal. I expect Hezb'Allah must have missed the memo about how anti-Zionism is not anti-semitism.

No, it is the "Crusaders" who must must worry the wrinkled brows of Qom. Michael Moore and Co. may play gotcha when the President misoverestimates the utility of "crusade" as a metaphor but as Crusaders go he is no Lionheart. Every six months the man thwarts the will of Congress by continuing the Clintonite policy of keeping America's embassy to Israel in Tel Aviv. If anything is slouching its way to Jerusalem to be born it is taking its sweet time about it. The mullahs and sheiks may look at us awry, squint hopefully and see Templars but in their hearts they know it is a mirage. The West has long since stopped believing in much of anything, let alone the idea that a billion or so Muslims should accept the Trinity. Hell, more than half the Western world has yet to notice the emirs and imams have levied war at all. Blood-curdling threats, thousands massacred on morning television and dozens of niche market snuff videos have failed to convince we ersatz Crusaders to take up the sword.

Then there are the Mohammed cartoons. The greatest indignity, the final insult, the square-on kick to the nuts of the jihadi worldview. Sure, to the West this may have seemed some inexplicable street pantomime of rage directed at the Danes (?) and some Danish newspaper not one in a thousand people outside Denmark had ever heard of. Even now I expect fewer than one in ten Canadians could easily point to Denmark on an unmarked map. How the mullahs must have raged. With a knife to our throats we continue to insist jihad represents inner struggle; even with his dying words Theo van Gogh still managed to suggest, "We can still talk about it!" Talk about soldiering on. Sure, hawks of the blogosphere have long pondered just what it is going to take to convince our fellow citizens to take the jihadis seriously. Now imagine how the jihadis must feel.

"I know," some Twelver devil must have thought, "if they no longer care about their Christ we must hit them where it hurts. We will mock their sacred Holocaust... then they will have to pay attention to us!" But not so fast. While the opening of the Holocaust International Cartoon Contest has attracted passing interest in the press I had to "Google Search" to find any of the cartoons in question. And let me tell you what I found was a disappointment. I was expecting Der Stürmer-grade vitriol at the very least but for the most part the contestants have little to offer beyond undergraduate leftist cant (here is the cartoon index by country) [Oops... wrong list! See below.*]. Sure there are some hook-nosed caricatures, I have mainly found those amongst the Iranian entrants, but for the most part the themes are anti-American and "anti-imperialist". As a for instance, the sole American entrant does not even rise to the level of coherence let alone offense. And as for Uzbek-hopeful, Makhmudjon Eshonkulov's suicide-bomber Easter Island moai statue I can only fall back on formal art criticism and suggest he is "taking the piss". I chose a piece by Cuba's Aristides Hernandez-Ares to illustrate this post both because it is graphically strong and because there is something retro about it in these (hopefully) twilight days of Cuban bondage. Plus freedom is surely a heavy thing for all that it costs a buck-o-five.

This CTV review of the exhibit offers no illustration of the would be offending cartoons though it does make mention of one by Indonesian Tony Thomdean showing "the Statue of Liberty holding a book on the Holocaust in its left hand and giving a Nazi-style salute with the other." Yet when I made my way through to the appropriate page on-line all I find is a broken image link. For all the death threats and war whoops and hooplah only fifty people bothered to turn up to the opening of this cartoonish excrescence. It is enough to make me suspect the mullahs lack the courage of their convictions.

First amendment Update: I note the exhibit has an on-line photogallery which allows unmoderated comments. Just saying.

Coke-sniffing Crusader Update: Kate Moss and Calvin Klein are said to have offended the usual suspects. Good. They will have to pry a naked Kate Moss from my cold dead hands.

*Oops, my bad Update: A Flea-reader writes to observe I am linking to the wrong anti-semitic cartoon contest! Here is the appropriate page, regrettably link-free. This latter fact might underline my belief the Mullahs may be squeamish about publicizing their views too widely to a Western audience. Though it also suggests the Der Stürmer aesthetic may be in full force.

Blue Shirts Update: Is this the face of Canada's only hope for Holocaust Cartoon victory? (with a psychic hat tip to Temujin)

I sent the following email to Québec/reality-based cartoonist, Marc Pageau and all I got for the trouble was a permanent failure notice from his email server.

Flea-readers should feel free to consider the non-Holocaust themed cartoons at Pageau's blog and judge for themselves. Non-Canadian Flea-readers should feel free to consider checking the list for their own fellow countrymen; there is no reason the Pageau on the list should take the contest in a walk. Small sidebar to James, Alan and Jay: You have noticed this fellow belongs to the Blogging Alliance of Non Partisan Canadians, right? Feel the pride in non-partisanship!

Hergé at Le Soir Update: Temujin writes with another update. Steve Janke was on this days ago. It turns out the Marc Pageau of the list is the same as the one pictured above. So, who does this guy work for?

Among the Quadi

Act, speak, and think like a man ready to depart this life in the next breath. If there are gods, you have no reason to fear your flight from the land of the living, for they will not let any harm come to you; and if there are no gods, or they are indifferent to the affairs of men, why wish to go on living in a world without them or without their guidance and care? But in fact, there are gods, and they do care about men, and they have made it possible for men to guard themselves against what is truly evil. Were there any evil in what awaits us, they would have given us the means of avoiding it.

There is an Islington dinner party game which asks players to come up with a fantasy guest list of famous people from history.* Always at the top of my list is philosopher/emperor Marcus Aurelius Antoninus. Reading his Meditations quite literally saved my life. While I have some technical questions for the man, my first motivation would be to thank him not only for having done me such a favour from so many centuries beyond the grave but for having taken the time to set down his thoughts in the first place. One of the most insightful essays I have ever read is Gore Vidal's "Robert Graves and the Twelve Caesars"; a piece in which he points out that the Roman emperors were among a relative handful of souls who have ever lived who could choose to do more or less whatever they pleased; often with unedifying results. With his choice, Marcus Aurelius not only lived a life on campaign in defense of civilization and the Light, he chose to write philosophy while he was at it.

An important difference between signing a petition decrying Israel and signing a petition condemning fascism is that the former is likely to make you popular at faculty meetings and smart Manhattan parties while the latter is adding your name to a jihadi hitlist. So, my profound thanks to Nicole Kidman, Michael Douglas, Dennis Hopper, Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis, Danny De Vito, Don Johnson, James Woods, Kelly Preston, Patricia Heaton, William Hurt, Ridley Scott, Tony Scott, Michael Mann, Dick Donner, Sam Raimi, Sumner Redstone and Haim Saban. By standing up as free men and women they have quite literally put their heads on the chopping block. These latter-day equestrians are all people who, like Marcus Aurelius, have sufficient wealth and social position to do much as they please and precious little incentive to risk that which they have. It is a sad commentary on our times that in stating the obvious these celebrities have also exemplified an ethical act.

Remember how long you have procrastinated, and how consistently you have failed to put to good use your suspended sentence from the gods. It is about time you realized the nature of the universe (of which you are a part) and of the power that rules it (to which your part owes its existence). Your days are numbered. Use them to throw open the windows of your soul to the sun. If you do not, the sun will soon set, and you with it.

*The Flea's more exacting variation also insists on a boy/girl/boy/girl seating arrangement.

She's a terrific actress too Update: The Flea's idée fixe compels me to add some further Kidman-media. China Daily reports Kidman enjoys dressing up while Xinhua, relying on China Daily, reports on her latest pilate related activities. Gripping stuff for the Kidman completists. More pressing is news Hugh Hefner is after Kidman for a Playboy cover.

Quite right.

Hilary Duff: Play With Fire

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

Less blood, more killing

Christian Pearce considers the Rize of the Machines (pdf file). Sure, those three-thousand military robots deployed to Afghanistan and Iraq may save human life now. But it's all badlife at the end of the day (hat tip to the Flea's Network Warfare Expert).

Pearce goes on to consider the low-casualty future warfare that may be promised by the war machines. I think this is to ignore two problems. To begin with, there are the low-accountability fantasies of the Latter-day Lucas Greedo-fired-first school of thought; and the related, and equally misguided, notion it is only moral to defend yourself if you are defending yourself from droids. Second, there is the fact our enemies have already decided fighting the West on the battlefield is a losing option. It is difficult to see how the First Fighting Roombas are going to help you as your 747 is flown into the CN Tower or crippled in fire over the north Atlantic.

Goth Like Me

Some may imagine it is all black lipstick and ennui treading the boards at Savage or Funhaus. But just try walking a mile in my pointy shoes (especially in a Canadian winter). And yet there are compensations. As a for instance, I have been listening to Abney Park's "Stigmata Martyr" over and over again. That is Magdalene Veen, "last of the Kuiper Bedouins," pictured above, btw. Long has it been since I first traveled the farflung regions of the Kuiper Belt, teaching the locals my weirding way such that I might find Sanctuary (before it was replaced by a Starbucks). Their headman named me "Usul" which was cool once I realized I had misheard him.

Liber Logaeth Update: Please feel free to click over to the other Flea and lend an ear to my second latest musical effort. "Al Azif" is built up from cicada samples plus one June Bug. It turns out conducting insects is much simpler than cat herding.

Non-transneptunian Update: And then there were twelve. I can live with the new definition of "planet" but only if the name Xena sticks. Otherwise, it is back to Anaximander for me.

To your scattered topics go

I am always ready for more vampires. This Dracula Year Zero reboot may be just the ticket.

Bruce Campbell plans to remake Stryker's War. Fun.

Battlestar Galacticsimpsons is self-explanatory.

Some lucky Flea-reader may win a walk-on appearance on both Stargate SG-1 and Stargate Atlantis (though reading the Flea is no prerequisite for entry). I had planned to fill out the form and kept it quiet so as to marginally improved my chances but then I read the fine print. As a non-resident of the continental USofA I am SOofL. Does my pop culture vigilance count for nothing? Stargate's Canadian production team should know I stand ready for all their cameo needs.

Tim Blair points to some EU propaganda cartoons that inexplicably failed to catch on with kids.

Finally, on a serious note and assuming YouTube is back on-line, here is John Cleese as he delivers Graham Chapman's eulogy. You may be shocked to learn the content is most definitely not safe for work.

My Mythos

Who Are You In The Cthulhu Mythos?

You are a STAR VAMPIRE, the race of cosmic entities with multiple mouths and suckers. They suck the blood from their (often human)prey, leaving the victim devoid of blood and juices within a minute. Flying with no means of visible propulsion, dwelling on an unknown planet, and only becoming visible when the juices of its victims bloat it with colour, so little is known about them that they remain a most fearsome and nightmarish threat to humanity.
Take this quiz!

Quizilla |
Join

| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

This is a bit difficult to read but so accurate I have decided to reproduce it regardless. Normally I would just fiddle with the html to produce a more readable result but that rgb colour triangulation is too much to deal with before my coffee has finished brewing.

38-23-36

Danwei TV's Jeremy Goldkorn and his hard-hitting hard-hat interview up-and-coming Chinese architect, Ma Yansong. Formerly with Zaha Hadid, Ma Yansong now works through his own design practice, MAD Ltd.. While his name has yet to develop Hadid's cache, his work is already familiar to Toronto-based Flea-readers through his winning design for Toronto's Absolute Tower project. His forthcoming "Marilyn Monroe Building" is set to make Mississauga much more interesting than it has any right to be.

Ma Yansong has an Alex McQueen earnestness about him. Great shoes, too.

Under the General's Orders (Huang Fei Hong theme)

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance. Also, kick ass.

Now the Super Junior mix with added Flea!

Michelle Yeoh in space

Danny Boyle presents Michelle Yeoh in space, coming in 2007. Note to viral and buzz marketing firms: Basically, you just need the words "Michelle Yeoh in space" and I am going to link your product and/or service. It is all too simple, really. And that is even taking into account if your Sunshine project reminds me of all-time-piece of crap, Solaris.

The sister is a model citizen

While Heather Stewart-Whyte (pictured above) has modelled for Elite and Storm she is perhaps best known as a representative of Victoria's Secret; and to tennis fans as the former Mrs. Yannick Noah.

All quite notorious making I am sure you will agree. As I am also reasonably confident you will agree that not all publicity is good publicity. Unfortunately, it transpires her brother is Don Stewart-Whyte (via Ace). The problem is that Don was recently charged with plotting to carry out an historic atrocity under the nom de guerre, Abdul Wahid; the poltroon.*

Heather claims she has never met Don. Which is probably just as well.

*Who is, of course, innocent until proven guilty; may he burn in hellfire.

Type O Negative: Christian Woman

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

The Influence of Monty Python on British Foreign Policy

The Foreign Correspondents' Club of Thailand recently hosted David Fall, the soon to retire British Ambassador to Thailand. His lecture addressed the "surreal side of the world's negotiating circuit." The Telegraph has a fair summary but I would be delighted to find a copy of text on-line. His adventures in translation deserve closer scrutiny.

Strange bedfellows

These days ersatz progressives march alongside Hezbollah and, in an Orwellian logic beyond the Red-Brown alliances of old, "anti-nuclear" activists support the nuclear ambitions of Iranian Twelvers; the latest farcical impasse for the 18th Brumaire of the postmodern Left (via Harry's Place). Now I find I am in broad agreement with an essay by Andrea Dworkin. Strange days, indeed.

Dworkin wrote "A Feminist Looks at Saudi Arabia" in 1978. It is a simple, and scathing, critique not only of the Carter administration but of the democracies of the West, without exception.

Well, that's depressing. Here is some Dannii Minogue to brighten up the place.

For the Technorati spiders

Technorati Profile

New course offerings

The Flea School for Wayward Expats is now proud to feature a strict course of instruction in ESL (and NSFW). Not sure who this Toshi chap might be though I confess there may be an alias or two I have forgotten (via Agent Bedhead). In related news: The Japanese fashion experience, a totally sweet Japanese cosplay goth pirate outfit and perhaps the ultimate innovation, vinyl kimonos.

Witches of $alem Update: Penn and Teller may mock as they please but I would still love to have a Cryptique spirit board for my very own.

GooGoosha: Unutma Meni

Rantburg can explain this one. Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

Pipe smoking is properly an intellectual exercise

Harry's Place does me the great favour and chilling disservice of introducing me to the existence of the Pipe Club of Lebanon. Membership sounds to be a most congenial prospect but tragically is limited to residents of Lebanon. No dual-passport dodge for these gentlemen.

Also at Harry's Place: Lumpenbourgeois losers and an excellent use of the term "bazaari".

Red Devils Update: I would be particularly grateful if Flea-readers amongst our American cousins to the south might take a minute or two to watch the linked video. Caution: Linked video includes strong language and smoking (via INDC Journal).

I hold in my hand a piece of paper Update: Welcome to 1936: Enjoy!

Related: Harry Hutton questions the timing.

All the Young Dudes

Readers of Dave Navarro's blog would not have been surprised by Wednesday-night's double-eviction from the Rock Star mansion as Dave had telegraphed the possibility several days beforehand. Just remember: There are no losers in the Rock Star mansion.* Another place, another time, baby.

This week's Flea high-light was Zayra Alvarez' spectacular cover of David Bowie's All the Young Dudes. Her vocals are bit muddy in places. Umm... who cares? She has grasped the spirit of the thing exactly. Loved the platforms and form-fitting gold jumpsuit - both by Trashy Lingerie - and triumpant top hat from New York Hat Co.. More important, and just as I had suspected, internet evidence of her Spanish vocals show what she can do given the chance. Not only spandex but substance.

Which is not to knock the spandex.

*Especially after T Lee lays down the Tommyhawk and chops their asses from the show. Josh Logan has a Jay Kay soul thing going on which I am sure makes him popular amongst people who enjoy that sort of thing. But it is so wrong for Supernova so so long to Josh. Jill Gioia's fake Heart-fan routine was really getting on my tits. Good riddance. And can someone please explain to me what it is with chicks and Janice Joplin? Caterwauling for the ages; almost as bad as being forced to endure Sylvia Plath.

Black is the new black

Agent Bedhead claims Britney Spears has finally lost her mind. Perhaps. All I know is that if I am ever sufficiently wealthy I am already sufficiently immodest as to do whatever it takes to get an AmEx Centurion card. These "black cards" were only an urban legend until American Express decided to oblige a very few of its best customers.

Actually, a Mastercard World Signia would do me fine. If it is good enough for Coutts it is good enough for me. In any event, I expect black is well on its way to being déclassé.

FutureSex/LoveSounds

Long have I pondered the maxim, "Do not call up that which ye cannot put down." Certainly the spirits of Prince and '80s Bowie should not be evoked lightly. Not content with a club tour and a new home reportedly valued at $24m, Justin Timberlake has expressed an admirable goal for his new album.

Strange but true: I had exactly the same phenomenon in mind for my own project. On a related note: Asian goth girls!

The before of Storm Large and Magni Asgeirsson

Storm Large attempts an amibitious live Dead Can Dance cover in her pre-Rock Star life. It works. Magni trying out for Eurovision? Not so much.

I shall appoint you my executive officer in charge of radishes Update: Magni with hair.

The Antinomies of Tolerant Reason

It has been more than ten years since I read Claude Lévi-Strauss' Triste tropiques and so I had forgotten the following bit of speculation. That is if I even noticed it at the time; it has become more interesting in retrospect. Lévi-Strauss imagines a world where Christianity ventured east and encountered Buddhism instead of Islam.

Now, I think this is a bit pat. Various forms of Christianity have demonstrated an aggressive prosyletizing impetus. It is by no means clear to me this is exclusively in reaction to Islam's explicitly martial modus operandi. Furthermore, there is no need to imagine those encounters between East and West underway before the emergence of Islam (though it would be something to see a world where Nestorian Christians never had need of a Prester John). Finally, any summary of a culture or worldview as feminine or masculine is more likely to underline our preconceptions about what those words mean than to shed light on what other people might believe. Despite these qualms, it is interesting to speculate on a counter-factual history without, for example, the Crusades. And whatever merit there may be to thinking of Buddhism-as-woman the repression of women in Islamic societies is an affliction for hundreds of millions whose lives are often passed over in reportage of the current troubles. Their plight may become harder to ignore as the ideology holding them in bondage seeks to impose itself on the rest of us.

Slavoj Zizek puts the quote to work as a segue into a discussion of the repression not only of women in Islamic societies but the repression of the category of "woman" in the "founding gestures" of Islam. Even those with little patience for psychoanalytic or structural analysis should have a look at this one if only for the story of Mohammed's first encounter with Gabriel; I had not realized he was otherwise engaged with Hagar at the time.

Will somebody think of the Cherokee Update: Christopher Hitchens on an unmuscular anti-imperialism: "They are of the sort who, discovering a viper in the bed of their child, would place the first call to People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals."

2 Thermidor CCXIV

"What time is it, Citizen?"
"It is exactly five seventy-five".

The Flea is no fan of the metric system let alone its impetus in a de-humanizing revolutionary irrationalism that so fervently imagines human lives can be abbreviated into units of ten.* That said, I am now desperate to own a French Republican calendar clock; surely the dernier cri in ironical office decor (examples here).

Fabien Chicha considers the subject alongside some achingly wonderful watches. Must. Have. Revolutionary. Time-piece! He points out the urge to fiddle with time did not end with the Revolution.

Swatch Internet Time does not begin to approach the silliness of all manner of public policy. And I can see some of these Revolutionary fashions making a comeback as soon as the House of Flea is in business.

*That is a sentence horribilis but I am too distracted just now to chop it up into two proper sentences. So, sorry about that.

Learning carries within itself certain dangers because out of necessity one has to learn from one's enemies Update: Christopher Hitchens considers Leon Trotsky on Radio 4 (via the Drink-soaked Trots).

Talking Heads: Once in a Lifetime

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

The persistence of memory

The continuing miracle of YouTube brings back two kinds of memories. The first is Madonna's first appearance on David Letterman in 1988. Sandra Bernhard was the guest but seems to have had the double-act planned in advance. It is much less interesting than I had remembered it to be. Letterman too is less entertaining than I had remembered though, in fairness, there is a grim fascination to behold what once was Madonna's human face.

Next is Madonna's notorious return appearance in 1995. One of the odd things about memory - let's be precious and call it "cultural memory" - is that this show was so talked about that it is familiar to me even though I did not see it when it aired; let alone this uncensored nsfw clip. Madonna is impressively obnoxious (resembling approximately one-third of the women I have dated; not a bad thing in my opinion). I have not watched Letterman since I was a teenager so it could be I have missed something but this is the only time I have ever seen the man flustered.*

Oh how the tarty have fallen. Here is an unremarkable and unmissed 2005 appearance. Chicken jokes. Seriously.

*Excepting an exemplary Drew Barrymore performance which, thankfully, I did see at the time.

She wouldn't say no

I am not certain how this slipped under my gorram radar: Morena Baccarin may star in Joss Whedon's Wonder Woman. IMDb even has the rumour listed. For her part, Baccarin has reportedly said she wouldn't say no to the part. I should certainly hope not.

This has all come to my attention for two reasons. First there is the release of fan documentary "Done the Impossible" (which should come with a massive multiple spoiler warning). I cannot recommend it to any but the most rabid Firefly fans but, given there is no other kind of Firefly fan, this does not present much of an obstacle. The second reason I have Firefly in mind is down to A Former Servant of Her Majesty belatedly making his way through the series.* This after a couple years of my claiming it is better than Ron Moore's Battlestar reboot. And by better I mean just as good but different.

Which brings me to a small point for Flea-readers who have not seen the show: Be sure to watch the tv series before you watch the feature film. If you watch the feature first I will never forgive you.

*He asks the important Inara or Kaylee question. The answer is, of course, Kaylee.

Great CGI for a fan film Update: Mosquito speculates about a galaxy dominated by Canadians and Ukrainians. Please. As if there is a difference between Canadians and Ukrainians.

Dean & the Weenies: F*ck You

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.*

*Various instructions and suggestions for viewing: As the song title suggests, this includes nsfw language. Low contrast nightclub photography indicates the full screen option for best viewing results. And if you have yet to see Mondo New York do so by all means!

Peaceful Nation Shrine

Following criticism of his visit to the Yasukuni Shrine in 1996, Prime Minister Ryutaro Hashimoto asked, "Why should it matter any more?" Of course, if the actions of imperial Japan's less illustrious war dead should no longer matter it begs the question of quite what a procession of Japan's Prime Ministers, cabinet ministers and members of the royal family are paying homage to at Yasukuni.

Writing for the Nichi Bei Times, Ben Hamamoto's "Entertainment Re-oriented - Atomic Pop Part I: It Created a Monster" considers atomic imagery in post-war Japanese pop cinema. This forwarded by the Flea's Network Warfare Expert who points to the "tease" that is the title for next week's follow-up: "Next week is Part II: “The World is Super-flat;” or “What Hello Kitty has to do with The Rape of Nanking”.

Here's a riddle: What Nichi Bei Times article follows the rhetorical convention of framing the atomic bombing of Japan in the context of "Japan's wartime trauma" without giving a passing hint of events leading up to those actions; let alone the "wartime trauma" of anyone living in a 3850 mile arc from the Japanese home islands. I am looking forward to the second part of the essay. It may be too much to hope Hamamoto includes some discussion of the causal relationship not only between Nanking and Hello Kitty but Nanking, medical experiments on prisoners, "comfort women", plague warfare in China, etc. etc. and the bombing of Japanese cities. Oh, those and kicking Gojira in the nuts at Pearl.

Lieutenant-Governor John Graves Simcoe/Siouxsie and the Banshees: Peek-a-boo

It's Simcoe Day! Ontario's first Lieutenant-Governor! ROCK to the ON!* Crank those speakers! Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

*Except the bit about nine members of Simcoe's appointed Legislative Coucil in Upper Canada owning slaves. That is so NOT cool. Still, he banned the importation of slaves into Ontario which helped move events in the right direction. And he built Yonge Street with his bare hands; the longest street in the world. METAL!

I do feel fine, actually. But thanks for asking.

Jon Stewart showcases cable news coverage of the end of the world. This is silly season material* but I confess I am vexed to learn about the Rapture Index. I so should have thought of it first. Flea-readers may be pleased to learn the index is down due to lack of occult activity though an increase in liberalism means it is still best to get right with the Lord.

The FAQ is bonus and extra. For example, what is God's favourite colour? Also, why is Robin the Boy Wonder?

*Excepting the blasphemy; see Matthew 24.

History and Moral Philosophy

Porchboy forwards a link to a multi-page consideration of the subject of women in the IDF. Well, women of the IDF, at least (more here and here). All prurient interest aside*, I think these images are a testament to the importance of recognizing everyone's potential contribution in a democracy. Whether as medics or in intelligence, or in combat as fighters or officers, these women prove a point. A number of points, actually, all of which should be blindingly obvious. First, on the hand we have a society which not only recognizes but celebrates the rights of women. By shocking contrast we have their adversaries in the pay of the rape cult Republic of Gilead. There is no question whose values we must support. Second, able bodied citizens should not only be allowed but encouraged to find roles in the defense of civilization; just one more thing Robert Heinlein was right about. And third, uniforms are smoking, smoking hot.

Ynet asked two reservists to discuss their experiences of and their belief in the importance of women's participation in the IDF. It turns out there is at least one unanticipated benefit to life in the field.

The linked article has video, btw. Just saying.

*Well, not all prurient interest. Let's face facts.

Jews and Hobbits For The Preservation of Firearms Ownership Update: The Battle of Bywater and the Battle of Athens.

Ukuyeye

"Pourquoi pas moi" is a most excellent question. Mareva Galanter was Miss Tahiti and Miss France, apparently. Also, ukulele. With much thanks and tipping of the hat to Gen-X at 40 for drawing my attention to this unaccountably fascinating subject.

I shall be making occasional updates to this post through the weekend. The weekend's theme: l'Objet Petit a.

First up: A Snakes On A Plane necklace... Not only could I not make this stuff up, at $3,900 I could not afford it either. And yet, I wants it.

Currency Lad wants to be detained by the "swinish Zionist entity". Big Pharaoh wants to fight Israel. It is only common sense if you think about it for a moment.

Early speculation it would be wannabe Jude Law, Keith Michael who would be asked to leave Project Runway proved correct. Though it was illegal pattern-books and not a plagiarized portfolio that ultimately proved his downfull (weasel words are available). I think it is absolutely superb that Runway's producers enforced the rules. Tim Gunn: There may be an opening for you soon across town as Secretary General!

Let's find out about despotism. This man makes it his job to study these things (via Belmont).

These Storm Large clips would have headlined a Rock Star Supernova post next Wednesday but they are sufficiently unsafe for work I have decided to link them now instead. The boys would be mad not to hire her for the job. She is over the top and a bit panto but in an audition to front Tommy Lee these qualities are both in the plus column.

On a related note, one of my tunes is to feature in a pole-dance routine at Torture Garden! Details to follow as they become available...

Enjoying the "goth twang" of The Lost Patrol.

This is not yeye but it does have a '60s feel. Russ Meyer so view at your own risk.

I am a typeface.

Gojira Kylie... Flea-dance sighted at 2:55! Kylie and delightful blue-screen!

Muse: Knights of Cydonia

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.*

*WIth a grateful tip of the hat to Taylor & Company. This one is gold. On a semi-related note, even though Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest is a bore pirates are still way cooler than ninjas. I don't even see where there is room for debate on this one.

The strongest motive

I had not read George Orwell's "Second Thoughts on James Burnham" (Polemic, Summer 1946). The reference, and the quote, are both lifted from Drink-soaked Trotskyite Popinjays for WAR with a grateful tip of the hat. As ever, Orwell has much to say which remains of undiminished relevance to the current scene. In the quoted passage, he considers differing reactions to the progress of the war.

Orwell credits the same worship of power as a reason for later russophile feeling; "among intellectuals it is probably the strongest one."

Now look, I once stood exposed to the Dragon's Breath so that a man could lie one night with a woman. It took me nine moons to recover. And all for this lunacy called, "love," this mad distemper that strikes down both beggar and king. Never again. Never.

Oh, did I say "never"? This was clearly hyperbole. Popoholic articulates a sound plan right here.

That and the Villain Chair would mean Flea got game.

Kylie Minogue & Towa Tei: GBI

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

That's one trouble with dual identities, Robin. Dual responsibilities.

I had a second look at Alien Vs Predator and it was much better than I had remembered it. The cgi is beautifully rendered and, even though the piece is derivative of an odd pop culture potpourri from Hellraiser to Cube to Kim Stanley Robinson's Antarctica to the most entertaining of the paperback Alien and Predator novels, it has a popcorn/B-movie appeal. AVP is not so much a prequal as a before to the Alien continuity and as such it does not interfere with any future installment in the faltering franchise no matter what the die-hard fans may think of it. So how to account for the film's poor reception? A second look suggests the mistake was to think of AVP as an Alien film when it is more fun to watch as a Predator movie. Expectations thus lowered it is much easier to enjoy.

My YouTube travels for this post once again lead me to Batman: Dead End fan-trailer, the closest thing to a proper Batman film until Christian Bale stepped into the suit. Outside Grant Morrison and Dave McKean's Arkham Asylum, I have never a fan of the Joker character which I suppose demonstrates how I fail to understand not only Batman but the whole DC universe. That said, I can see why fans have expressed reservations about early casting news from the next Batman production: The Dark Knight. Heath Ledger is reportedly set to play the Joker. Though to me the problem is not the inevitable Brokeback jokes but the hours of my life Ledger owes me for A Knight's Tale and The Order; horrible, horrible work.

One man's terrorist

These chaps look familiar.

I recently met an apparently thoughtful, spiritual lady who claimed to be "uncomfortable with the idea of judgement." It is a sentiment I have heard many times in the Annex and it jives with the Prime Directive portions of my anthropology education. Certainly, I think it is a good idea to be open to new ways of thinking about or experiencing the world, in part for practical reasons having to do with avoiding religious wars and in part out of simple curiosity.

However, it is my impression that 100% of the people I have met who claim to be uncomfortable with judgement would agree with the statement, "Discrimination is bad". Though most would avoid the word "evil" as itself too judgy a concept, they are for the most part happy to substitute "bad" or better yet "unhealthy" or "out of balance" or something to do with karma which, when push comes to shove, means for them essentially the same thing. The trouble, of course, is that to assert that "discrimination is bad" is itself an act of discrimination; tautological hilarity ensues. Let us be charitable with the argument and infer that what is meant is closer to "Some forms of discrimination (racial, sexual, etc.) are bad." Which leaves the question of how to decide which forms of discrimination are bad and which sorts of discrimination are good and what, if anything, answers to this question might obligate us to do.

Some people call this process "philosophy" while others call it "ethics" and... wait for it... it might also reasonably be called "judgement". Perhaps not the end of days sort of Judgement but certainly something like the act of discrimation that decides interfering in pre-warp civilizations is best avoided. This is obvious to anyone who has bothered to take the time and trouble to study philosophy or ethics. And by study I mean an analytical engagement with ethics as such not just a formal education in a particular religion or school of thought; certainly not the pre-digested outrage of a short list of taboos. Though such is to ask of people a modicum of effort. I gather this is an unreasonable* expectation in these days of brief attention spans and fast food philosophy even as I am tempted to believe such is as it ever was. To paraphrase the Teacher: The lazy will always be with us.

The fact** is we mortals must engage in acts of judgement and discrimination if we are to get on with each other even as we must not mistake our own preconceptions and prejudices for the hard work of real judgement. I believe the best way to go about this is to teach people how to think. I believe we should also teach people the histories and legends from which we might find a common pool of metaphor upon which to draw analogies in communicating our thoughts to one another. The trick is how to go about the process when most teachers from Pashto madrassas to the Ivy League have decided to forgo learning how to think by preference to mouthing a tiny spectrum of received cant. Or when "tradition" has been circumscribed to one "holy book" or none. Those of us living in café society in what may be the last days of the West used to have The Simpsons to rely on as a litmus test and source of allegory but what with its having jumped the shark long ago it sometimes feels we have precious little to be getting on with. And all too often equivocation about "wagging the dog" or "Minute Men" snuff videos demonstrate not only laziness but a pre-Oedipal refusal to take responsibility for one's own decisions. When everything from slavery to sexual mutilation to rape of children as political theatre to gay lynchings to calls for another Shoah must now be "understood" and not condemned it would seem the Prime Directive has much to answer for.

Take one particularly egregious example of the new cant: "One man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter." Leave aside for the moment the suspicion that most people mouthing these words actually mean to say, "He is not a terrorist. He is a freedom fighter" but lack the courage of their convictions to boldy say so. It is true this fragment of secular homily is not wrong in itself. The trouble is that it is wrong beyond itself (waxing Heideggerian here). It is true, for example, that Hitler thought of himself as something like a freedom fighter and those he disposed of as terrorists.

Here is the problem: Hitler was wrong.

Hitler was not only objectively wrong*** he was morally wrong. It is true Hitler did not believe himself to be an evil man**** but, as Plato might have put it, "So what?" The Ku Klux Klan called themselves Night Riders and believed themselves to be defending their faith, their honour and the virtue of "their" women. It is reasonable to try to understand in some sociological sense how they might reach these conclusions. It is even reasonable to imagine that a selective reading of Scripture might lead one to conclude slavery was a God ordained institution from time immemorial. But understanding why people might believe such a thing is not to conclude their beliefs are "equally valid" with, for example, an universal humanism. It is certainly not to abrogate our responsibility to stop them from imposing their ideas on others out of a misplaced sense of duty to "respect" their "culture" for such is not only to disrepect the culture but the rights of others. Some might say the religious rituals and the masked night rides and even the lynchings were only "terror" when understood from a perspective that privileges the "state terror" of the Union. It is a fact the Ku Klux Klan and its insurgency in many respects reversed the early democratic prospects of a liberated south leaving the United States bogged down in a southern quagmire for more than a century. It might be argued that Reconstruction was precipitous in recognizing the civil rights of all Americans, that military might alone could never impose Union values on the South and that actions such as Sherman's March were grossly disproportionate to the "good" of Abolition.*****

Yes, some might make these arguments. But still they would be wrong.

*The word "unreasonable" is an Englishman's substitute for things others might refer to as "karmically imbalanced".
**Today's money quote from Harry's Place: "When those whose power and influence derives from a fiction are challenged, it is little wonder that they want to criminalise fact." I expect we will be hearing the word "faith crime" many times in the coming days and years. In olde fashioned tymes they called it "heresy".
***The next person who excuses or minimizes the whole mess by reference to the Treaty of Versailles should understand Germany had imposed almost identical terms on its vanquished Russian opponent the year before. Whining about it almost a century after the fact is what philosophers call "sour grapes" and ethicists term "the pot calling the kettle black".
****Packwood's Law: "Any sufficiently advanced stupidity is indistinguishable from existential evil." Please note, Packwood's Law supercedes Godwin's Law when reference to Nazi ideology is critical to illustrating existential evil, i.e. Those who would invoke Godwin's Law to relativise the existential evil of Naziism are in violation of Packwood's Law.
*****Which was good when John Brown was advocating Abolition but not good when Lincoln adopted it as a pretext for war. Not that the Copperheads were objectively pro-Confederacy or some other such simplisme. /acid sarcasm

War never solved anything (except feudalism, slavery, Naziism, etc.) Update: Bill Ardolino blamed the Prime Directive yesterday thereby preempting my post. And I should definitely have worked South Park and (more) original series Star Trek in here somewhere too.

Zayra Alvarez: Jenny (867-5309)

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

Lest thou be judged

Talk about judgement. Last week's Rock Star Supernova elimination shocked audience and contestants alike as Phil Ritchie was sent home before Zayra Alvarez. Some of the scandalized think keeping Zayra on is a cynical act by producers wishing for Superstar USA-style rubbernecking ratings. Dave Navarro sets them straight:

That's telling it like it is, Dave. ROCK ON! Anyone wanting to know the score should check out this unaired clip of Navarro's pointed question to Phil during the judging (Update: It looks like this might have happened after Phil had been giving the boot as a gesture pour encouragez les autres).

Small sidebar: Releasing unaired clips to YouTube? Mark Burnett Super Genius.

Chacun à son goût Update: Since critics supposedly got it wrong about Impressionism our civilization has found it increasingly difficult to render aesthetic judgements. Perhaps giving in to Monet was the snowflake that precipitated the avalanche. Perhaps not. Either way it looks like we are reaching the bottom of the hill. I mean seriously, Roberto Cavalli vodka can only mean one thing: The Chavs are at the gates.

And another thing Update: I think Gilby Clarke was wrong about Zayra's vocals being off this week. Her voice has an engaging/frightening/enthralling Björk tonality that really came through on this one. It is precisly this eldritch quality to her voice that allowed her to actualize an insight that may have been possible only because she had never before heard the Tommy Tutone tune; the hard kernel of stalker enjoyment at its heart.

Say, was you ever bit by a dead bee?

"You know Steve, you’re not very hard to figure. Only at times. Sometimes I know exactly what you’re going to say. Most of the time. And the other times, the other times, you’re just a stinker."

Possibly the best lines from any film I have ever seen. These delivered by Lauren Bacall in her first film rôle as Marie Browning, or rather "Slim", alongside husband to be Humphrey Bogart in To Have and Have Not (1944). Vichy French baddies, shoot-outs and Hoagy Carmichael on the piano. This one has everything. If To Have and Have Not was not already the perfect movie the wiggle at the end would have made it so. Seriously, the wiggle.

This is the first of four Bogart/Bacall films; the others including Dark Passage and Key Largo. I liked Key Largo just fine. It had the virtue of not being set in San Francisco and thereby avoiding noirish atmospheric clichés. But for all that Dark Passage is accused of gimmickry - and boy is it gimmicky - Key Largo has a staginess that I find harder to forgive in a film. At least noir gimmicks represent an attempt to figure out the new medium rather than restaging old conventions; something like the fun, adventurous mistakes bloggers make when they stop trying to pretend they are writing for a newspaper.

To Have and Have Not does not face these problems. The worst that can be said about it is that it attempts to recapture the spirit of Casablanca or that it is tangentially based on Hemingway's least successful novel. Though the worst of Hemingway stills seems to me to be something to aspire to. "I needed the money," was Hemingway's explanation of the book. A reason that is more than good enough in the book of any professional writer.

Method Man & Mary J Blige: I'll Be There For You

Now is the time at the Flea when we dance.

I can't think of a segue Update: Swiss bunker pr0n! I especially like the look of bunker no. 7 as a home-conversion project.

The Passion of Mel Gibson

With the current Wilsonian vogue for democracy having definitively shifted from left to right over the last few years it is all too easy to forget the old bigotries though, in fairness, Pat Buchanan and his ilk do their best to remind us. Christopher Hitchens details Mel Gibson's meltdown, describing him as "sick to his empty core with Jew-hatred"; a real zinger of a tag-line. This follows on from Hitchen's earlier take-down of the crude Oberammergau abbreviation of the Gospel that was Mel Gibson's Passion.

Fascist is right though to my mind Coughlinite is even more right. Can we call them "Taliban" now? Or is the word "bigot" still "unhelpful"? While I am glad this particular stone has been over-turned and Gibson's all too obvious words rendered without the code I confess a small disappointment. I expect I was one of maybe five people in the target audience for Apocalypto.

John 4:23 Update: The question is not "Why has ABC decided to pull Mel Gibson's Holocaust series now?" The question is, "What was ABC thinking in the first place?" It is not as if the man has made any secret about his views.

Note to Mel Gibson: The Jews did not do this. 9/11 conspiracy theory and Holocaust denial are of the same fever swamp of the spirit. I am sure Christ forgives Mel Gibson. I don't.