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July 16, 2009

A legitimate love letter to Star Wars fans


A perhaps unanticipated side effect of the society of the spectacle is its sheer scope and consequently the prospect I will never hear of - let alone enjoy - vast swathes of the nonsense that interests me.

Take Fanboys, for example.

It's the Halloween party they've all been waiting for, to have fun with friends and hang out with fellow Star Wars fans and partners in crime. However, events take a turn when one of their bunch who long ago outgrew his old gang and took on adult responsibilities is suddenly in their midst again. Reconnecting is not easy. But soon, Eric, Windows, Hutch and Zoe realize that Linus will not live long enough to experience what's been on their minds for ages: The long-awaited theatrical release of Star Wars - Episode I, which is still several months away. Linus once again suggests to his friends what he's been scheming since fifth grade: Breaking into Skywalker Ranch, this time to steal a print of the movie. Crazy, right? But it might be the only way for Linus to see the movie before he dies. So as insane as it sounds, they take Hutch's van and embark on a mission to drive across half the country to the Ranch.

The trailer is underwhelming but a photo of Kristen Bell as Slave Leia is all the advance marketing they would have needed. Note to Hollywood publicity machines: Get on that.

Always read the fine print (especially if it is in bold): Kristen Bell faux lesbian dance below the fold.

Posted by Ghost of a flea at July 16, 2009 08:53 AM


I watched it a month ago, and it was disappointing beyond disappointment. To be blunt it is the sort of thing not even worth pirating. Wait until it shows up on TMN and you're not wasting any bandwidth or money on it.

Kristen Bell in the Leia getup takes up exactly 5 seconds of screen time at the very end of the movie. Unfortunately you have to put up with about 90 minutes of boredom to get to it.

Posted by: Chris Taylor [TypeKey Profile Page] at July 16, 2009 03:39 PM

It appears I have already seen the best part of the film. My only remaining curiosity is whether the film's protagonists were as disappointed by The Phantom Menace as I was.

Posted by: Ghost of a flea [TypeKey Profile Page] at July 17, 2009 05:06 AM

The film doesn't really cover the reaction. It's all about the anticipation.

Posted by: Chris Taylor [TypeKey Profile Page] at July 17, 2009 03:15 PM

It took me a moment to work out you were talking about The Phantom Menace and not Kristen Bell's Leia bikini...

Posted by: Ghost of a flea [TypeKey Profile Page] at July 17, 2009 03:29 PM

Haha. I think my visceral dislike of Fanboys can be summed up by two points.

First, I already saw this movie. It was better envisioned as Detroit Rock City—featuring the same lead actor, no less—but with much better writing and characterisation.

Second, one character does get to see The Phantom Menace ahead of sched, but fails to a) disembowel George Lucas and b) warn his pals.

Imagine you had seen Phantom Menace prior to its general release. And you have a limited amount of time to tell your friends about it before work/life/fate takes you more remote pastures. Would you:

A) Tell everyone George Lucas is a traitor to his own vision.

B) Immediately devote your life to the development of the Department of Cinematic Pre-Crime, whose mission will be to go back in time to November 1, 1994, and taser George Lucas repeatedly until he forgets about writing any prequel trilogy.

C) Smile broadly and tell everyone that it was mind-blowing, and let them find out the sad truth for themselves.

No matter what the circumstances, C is always the wrong answer. And that's the one the Fanboys screenwriters give us.

Posted by: Chris Taylor [TypeKey Profile Page] at July 17, 2009 07:03 PM