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July 25, 2008

What your right hands possess

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Ma malakat aymanukum - literally, what your right hands possess (ما ملكت أيمانکم) - is a reference in the Koran to slaves. Those with prurient interests, or considering life as a Muslim convert, may find themselves drawn to a better understanding of Islamic law regarding sex with slaves. A quick summary of the rules should come in handy. For example, if you co-own a slave she is off limits. Sex with your wife's slaves is also a no no. But if you are worried because your slave was married when you took her captive... no problem, go to town, she is yours so far as Allah is concerned. Just do not have sex with your slave's sister because that would be improper unless, presumably, you kill her male relatives and enslave her too in which case no harm no foul. No word on the age of... well, consent is not exactly a factor here... the age of your sex slaves but given Mohammad was the perfect man somewhere between the age of six and nine is the precedent. So if your slave is five years old better be safe than sorry and rape enjoy one of your ten year old slaves instead.

Remember: All religions are equally valuable because it is all relative. After all, Jesus made war on Rome, personally beheaded hundreds of Greek civilians and took children captive as his sex slaves; all part of Christ's message of personal enrichment through desert piracy, universal conquest and the reward of eternal rapine that awaits his berserkers in the afterlife. Oh, sorry, I mean message of "peace". So who are we to judge? It is all part of Canada's rich cultural tapestry. You racist.

Afterthought: Some of the above is intended satirically so as to bring Islamic law on slavery into hatred and contempt. Thought I had better be explicit on the point so as not to confuse the mouth-breathing moron community progressives. But I am 100% serious about the taking Leia captive and putting her in a metal bikini thing. Around here we follow "the old ways" (by which I mean Episodes IV, V and VI, obviously).

Posted by Ghost of a flea at July 25, 2008 02:57 AM

Comments

The world is awash and sloshing with sexual images and porn of all kinds - i can barely avoid getting my feet wet - yet Princess Leia in that costume is still awe inspiring. (That's how mature people avoid saying "awesome".)

Posted by: voon [TypeKey Profile Page] at July 25, 2008 01:52 PM

"Remember: All religions are equally valuable because it is all relative"

Things technically are "all relative" to whatever extent, but that doesn't necessarily lead to an accurate conclusion that all religions are equally valuable or harmful - agreed. But just as claiming equivalence based on a general category is bunk, so is denying any degree of relation based on that same category.

When a man sells his daughter as a slave, she will not be freed at the end of six years as the men are. If she does not please the man who bought her, he may allow her to be bought back again. But he is not allowed to sell her to foreigners, since he is the one who broke the contract with her. And if the slave girl's owner arranges for her to marry his son, he may no longer treat her as a slave girl, but he must treat her as his daughter. If he himself marries her and then takes another wife, he may not reduce her food or clothing or fail to sleep with her as his wife. If he fails in any of these three ways, she may leave as a free woman without making any payment.

I'm not expressing myself very well, so suffice it to say that I tend to find Pat Condell view more consistent than yours on this topic, even though I disagree and agree with both of you on major points:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXzladhscMQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhN6CG1zCRc

The point where I disagree with both of you is my optimism about the malleability of belief, regardless of the prescriptions of text. This is also known as "the grand potential for human hypocrisy to benefit civilization."

I could be wrong.

Posted by: Bill from INDC [TypeKey Profile Page] at July 25, 2008 02:07 PM

My metal bikini position has been unswerving. This blogger is not for turning!

Posted by: Ghost of a flea [TypeKey Profile Page] at July 25, 2008 02:34 PM

I suspect metal bikinis don't look good on 6 to 9 year old girls cowering in fear before priapic warlords.

I personally prefer my women over the age of 35 thank you very much.

As for the "malleability of belief regarding the prescriptions of text", I suspect that works better when practiced by people who adhere to religions that don't have muttaween style enforcement.


See also, spineless western countries that assume oppression of women, gays and disbelievers is a religious belief's right and force their own people to kow-tow to the most extreme interpretations of a 7th century heresy in the name of "tolerance".

Posted by: dpatten [TypeKey Profile Page] at July 25, 2008 07:45 PM

But just as claiming equivalence based on a general category is bunk, so is denying any degree of relation based on that same category.

Hardly. While you could point out that there is a degree of relation between Christianity and Islam, namely the fact that both are religions, the implication that you appear to be flailing at, that "Islam is a religion, and Islam is evil, therefore, Christianity, which is a religion, must also be evil", makes about as much sense as would my lumping Richard Dawkins with Josef Stalin in the category of evil maniacs on the basis of both being atheists.

Posted by: Hospitaller [TypeKey Profile Page] at July 26, 2008 11:55 PM

"the implication that you appear to be flailing at, that "Islam is a religion, and Islam is evil, therefore, Christianity, which is a religion, must also be evil", makes about as much sense as would my lumping Richard Dawkins with Josef Stalin in the category of evil maniacs on the basis of both being atheists."

That's not my implication at all. Kind of weird for you to draw such a conclusion. Rather, that both are:

1. irrational, technically speaking.

2. That both are granted special status in societies because of their status as religion, which closes the door for matter-of-fact critiques of the depredations and illogical aspects of their text, at least in polite society.

3. That a certain portion of adherents have sort of skipped over aspects that are less palatable in light of modern culture. In Islam, this is unfortunately a smaller majority than in Christianity. But this trend/ability shows hope for the wonders of man's salad bar tendencies.

Posted by: Bill from INDC [TypeKey Profile Page] at July 27, 2008 09:31 AM

I suspect that works better when practiced by people who adhere to religions that don't have muttaween style enforcement.

I suspect that you are correct, which is why such coercion and fanaticism must be addressed/removed. The question is, how do you accomplish this, practically. Western societies aren't doing Islam/Muslims/themselves any favor by this bizarre kowtowing.

Posted by: Bill from INDC [TypeKey Profile Page] at July 27, 2008 09:34 AM

I believe that I will stick with my interpretation that Islam is evil.

As with all creations of the Enemy, Islam is merely a pale imitation of Christianity.

There is no correction/coercion/reinforcement that can repair something that is evil at its heart and has been since "The Prophet" was pillaging and raping 6 year olds.

Posted by: dpatten [TypeKey Profile Page] at July 27, 2008 03:07 PM

That's not my implication at all. Kind of weird for you to draw such a conclusion.

Not at all. It's an entirely reasonable conclusion to draw from your statements, and your attempt to back yourself up through further false association and mischaracterization only drives this point home further. You're not, to all appearances, interested in "matter of fact" critiques", but only in demonizing Christianity for whatever reason and to Hell with the facts of the matter.

Posted by: Hospitaller [TypeKey Profile Page] at July 27, 2008 03:10 PM

"Not at all. It's an entirely reasonable conclusion to draw from your statements, and your attempt to back yourself up through further false association and mischaracterization only drives this point home further."

I did not say that Islam or Christianity were "evil," I just said that religions share characteristics. References to slavery is one of said characteristics.

A more reasonable tact for you to take would be to ask me to be more specific or clarify, rather than say I was "flailing" at the premise that Christianity was "also evil." Especially since I never said Christianity was evil, and especially since I stated up front:

"... that doesn't necessarily lead to an accurate conclusion that all religions are equally valuable or harmful - agreed."

To spell that out for you: this statement agrees with the idea that false equivalence about all religions is stupid.

The persence of this statement also severely questions your reading comprehension ability.

"You're not, to all appearances, interested in "matter of fact" critiques", but only in demonizing Christianity for whatever reason and to Hell with the facts of the matter."

This is such a bizarre interpretation I must beg my leave of any debate with you. My feelings about Christianity are fairly benign.

Posted by: Bill from INDC [TypeKey Profile Page] at July 28, 2008 09:52 AM

I did not say that Islam or Christianity were "evil," I just said that religions share characteristics. References to slavery is one of said characteristics.

"Reference to slavery" of itself is utterly pointless as a point of debate, particularly when cut loose from the moorings of context as you've done here.

A more reasonable tact for you to take would be to ask me to be more specific or clarify, rather than say I was "flailing" at the premise that Christianity was "also evil."

If you were not attempting to cast a negative light on Christianity by comparing it to Islam, there would be no point in claiming that "reference to slavery" is a "shared characteristic of religions", especially given the tenor of the original blog post and its focus on the condoning of sexual slavery in Islam. You may claim otherwise but to all intents and purposes you're still attempting to smear Christianity by associating it with Islam.

To spell that out for you: this statement agrees with the idea that false equivalence about all religions is stupid.

To spell it out for you: your explanation is contradicted by your statements.

This is such a bizarre interpretation I must beg my leave of any debate with you.

Of course.

My feelings about Christianity are fairly benign.

If this sort of argument of guilt-by-association is "fairly benign" in your mind, I'd be interested to see your definition of malignant.

Posted by: Hospitaller [TypeKey Profile Page] at July 29, 2008 03:45 PM

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