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February 05, 2008

Super Tuesday


FHM UK features Bond girl Olga Kurylenko in her first ever magazine cover shoot (via Ultimate James Bond Fan). The caption: "Olga Kurylenko is the new Bond Girl! (The proper one, not the one he bangs and then dies)." Classy. More enlightening is the news Ms. Kurylenko loves pole dancing.

"If I had a boyfriend and he asked me to pole dance for him, I would."

Which presents what I am confident to describe as an existential problem.

Posted by Ghost of a flea at February 5, 2008 04:57 AM


I admire her can-do spirit, but the artistic merit of pole-dancing escapes me.

Also the whole idea that girlfriends or wives should pole-dance in the first place. Real pole-dancing strippers (for the most part) are not going to bang the customers. They are just trying to get you horned up to the point where you will part with the maximum amount of cash with a minimum amount of thinking. And a girlfriend or wife, with demonstrated capacity and willingness to bang boyfriend/husband, is now supposed to emulate this calculated venality (minus the actual cash transaction)? I'm not getting it. It's possible to be sexy without invoking the spectre of decrepit bars filled with even more decrepit and aging patrons.

Posted by: Chris Taylor [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 5, 2008 10:07 AM

I have never seen pole-dancing outside of film and television so it is possible I am unduly enthusiastic about this artform.

Posted by: Ghost of a flea [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 5, 2008 10:10 AM

You need to become good friends with a bartender. Ages ago I knew a young lady who was a bartender at several joints, and sometimes would meet up with her at one of her places of employment.

For the most part they were the dive-iest dives one could imagine setting foot in, although there were a couple that were classy. The overwhelming majority of the girls have next to no manners and a ridiculously stunted view of humanity—not surprising, given the segment of it that they see. Most will just saunter up and say "Would you like a dance?" and when you say no, they will scowl and walk away. The less profit-oriented might sit down and chat for a bit before asking. I used to make a point of buying those ones a drink (no dance, though) as positive feedback to encourage good behaviour.

The idea of a well-meaning woman wanting to actually evoke that environment just makes me shudder, though.

Posted by: Chris Taylor [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 5, 2008 10:21 AM

I assume it demonstrative pole-dancing of this kind is the suburban equivalent of women's studies MA students taking on sex work as a political statement (and as a way of earning cash in hand).

Posted by: Ghost of a flea [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 5, 2008 10:40 AM

I think it is mostly a certain innocence about the real lives of actual strippers.

The smart ones do it to pay for college/university, and buy a house/condo, then get the hell out and never look back. The less capable try to do exactly the same thing but end up bailing out of higher education due to drug problems, unresolved emotional issues, or simply frittering money away on everything else. The uber-sad cases eventually drift into prostitution or may stay trapped in the life until they are middle-aged and can no longer compete with younger replacements.

They have the career lifespan of the average moderately successful child actor, and an infinitesimally smaller adult success ratio. Some of the stories out of that bartender pal rival Dickensian London for sheer depressive hopelessness.

These days it would make far more sense to fire up a website. You're far removed from the actual clientele, nobody has to lay a finger on you, and all your revenues go into your pocket, not split up amongst the bar manager, bouncers, etc. They would be smaller revenues at first, but with the potential to reach a much wider audience in time. And you're less likely to develop a crippling drug dependency.

There's probably management consultant gold in assisting women to make that transition but who has the time.

Posted by: Chris Taylor [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 5, 2008 11:33 AM