Ghost of a flea

It is impossible to believe anything bad about my ancestors who lured ships onto the rocks. Why were they forced to overpower ship’s crews in the cold and dark of night, swimming out to moored ships with only a dagger clenched in their teeth? Why were my simple, happy, politically correct ancestors forced to smuggle tea for hundreds of years? The lavish profits (equivalent to heroin or cocaine smuggling today) were not sought out for financial gain. No, of course not. The vast sums of money (along with looted weapons, livestock, and of course, tea) were used to correct social injustice and fight poverty. Among my people, smuggling is celebrated. And it is time the taxpayers of Canada forked over some reparations.

The next time you are on a boat and one of the crew guides you straight into a reef or shoal, ask yourself, How did I offend this person? When his family group from his global village swarm over the decks to take everything of value, leaving you in your undergarments (sometimes there is a undergarment ’swap’, but only if your shorts are clean and the pirate’s are either wet or stained) to ask yourself: How could I accommodate these Wrecker-Canadians?