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January 08, 2007



I dreamed I was at work and this shifty looking woman approached me with a questionnaire. Did I have any preconceptions about pandas?, she wanted to know. What, aside from the eating bamboo and smelling badly, you mean?, I suggested. After tortuously correcting me about my notion that pandas smell badly* she directed me to fill out a questionnaire, thrusting it under my nose.

Well, I am delighted to jump to such imperious behaviour provided it is from my betters but I had no idea who this woman was. Taking care not to reflexively take the out-thrust bit of paper quivering before me I smiled, looked at the paper, looked at her and asked what her relationship was to our organization. "I'm ager adut ent," she explained in some foreign gibberish.** Excuse me, I did not quite catch that... "I'm agra utant," she tried, a bit huffily this time.

Perhaps it was the puffiness around the eyes, the shabbiness of her attire or the slightly uplifted nose as if to suggest it was not pandas but I who was smelling. Perhaps it was some combination of the three. Whatever it was the translation microbes kicked in and I ejaculated with some satisfaction, You're a graduate student? This caused some shuffling and shame-facedness.*** The document drooped slightly in her hand as if indignance had been the only power to keep it aloft. I suddenly realized I would be delighted to have a look at the questionnaire. Let's see:

1. Hegemonic narrativisation of pandas in "natural" and non-"natural" environments recapitulates the subaltern position of resistance by the People of Nicaragua under the Reagan regime...

And that is as far as I got, I'm afraid. There were raccoons fighting somewhere in the yard and the racket was enough to wake me. Though I admit I was laughing out-loud as I came to and this might have had something to do with it. I considered googling "panda" and "hegemonic" before publishing this post. But probably best not to know.

* They have an excellent sense of smell, apparently. This was not quite what I was getting at but I did not argue the point because I realized I was thinking of koalas; those tree-rats are ripe with eucalyptus. For all I know, pandas smell like angel farts and cupcake accord.
** Flea-readers need not have the etymology of gibberish and algebra expounded upon at length here; the connection is ontological and of the class described by Newton as self-evident.
*** Quite right too.

Posted by Ghost of a flea at January 8, 2007 06:57 AM


You ejaculated cupcake accord?

Posted by: agent bedhead [TypeKey Profile Page] at January 8, 2007 10:19 AM


Posted by: Ghost of a flea [TypeKey Profile Page] at January 8, 2007 10:39 AM

What exactly do angel farts smell like?

Posted by: Varenius [TypeKey Profile Page] at January 8, 2007 06:29 PM