? Look no further | Main | SexyBack ?

July 11, 2006

Precarious superheroes

At last, supervillains worthy of being the archnemeses of the Flea! "Hamburg for Free" are based in Germany so I shall have to find the local counterparts of Santa Guevara, Spider Mum, Operaistorix and Multiflex. They are probably in the cheese aisle at Whole Foods...

Suddenly, half a dozen costumed superheroes appeared, their shopping baskets filled with prime Kobe beef, Manchego cheese curdled from the milk of Spanish sheep, handmade French chocolates from the Rhone Valley. Some $2,000 worth of fancy groceries darted out of the store before employees realized they'd been robbed by a gang of cartoon characters.

The leader was a skinny person of indeterminate gender, clad head-to-toe in a lavender nylon bodysuit. One accomplice was wrapped in a red costume with a lightning bolt, a la Flash, the comic-book speedster. At least four others wore an assortment of capes, wigs, sunglasses and white gloves, the latter to avoid leaving fingerprints. Waving their stolen booty outside the store, they pranced around and flexed their muscles as yet another partner took pictures.

Posted by Ghost of a flea at July 11, 2006 11:44 AM


Well there's definitely an air of cheese about the whole affair...

Toronto shoppers would probably not get ouraged by oddly dressed people lifting things in the grocery store (unless they committed the unforgiveable sin of bringing more than 16 items to the express checkout line), but what is up with the diners in the first incident?

Somebody dumps your seafood buffet on the floor and everybody sits by idly and watches it happen? I might not fight for salmon ravioli but damn it, man, if someone somewhere has needlessly spoiled lobster and garlic butter, there will be Hell to pay!

Posted by: Chris Taylor [TypeKey Profile Page] at July 11, 2006 01:43 PM

Spoliation of lobster is the last line between civilization and barbarism.

Posted by: Ghost of a flea [TypeKey Profile Page] at July 11, 2006 02:12 PM