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May 17, 2006

And eat it too

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With the slogan "Sweet Europe, let yourself be seduced...," and twenty-seven national cakes, many were sure to have been impressed by Europe Day this year. Provided, of course, they were invited to the party. "Let them eat cake," observes Dies Irae. The analogy is not strained (if lightly sugar-dusted).

The party starts with an open-air concert in Salzburg, where free Mozartkugel chocolates are handed out – to the invited audience of EU delegates, of course, not the hoi-polloi, who have to content themselves with the honour of paying for them all through their taxes.

Surely no better metaphor for the EU could be imagined that the sight of hundreds of tax-fattened parasites rolling around a palace hoovering up cake. By dinnertime, every one of Salzburg’s emergency wards is clogged with critical cases of severe butterfat poisoning.

This handy "Sweet Europe" pamphlet means the event may be celebrated in the homes of non-functionaries everywhere. Though British shortbread, Belgian waffles and Bulgarian rice pudding are all most probably stretching the definition of "cake" beyond whatever European regulations govern the subject.

Posted by Ghost of a flea at May 17, 2006 07:34 AM

Comments

They have shamefully excluded that long-lived contemporary of Victoria, Regina et Imperatrix -- Battenberg cake.

Posted by: Chris Taylor [TypeKey Profile Page] at May 17, 2006 10:03 AM

No comment about Kylie being left off the Maxim list? Or the improbable ranking of Lohag as #3?

Posted by: beautifulatrocities [TypeKey Profile Page] at May 17, 2006 11:43 AM

It is my impression Maxim readers prefer their totty top-heavy. Not to put too fine a point on it.

Posted by: Ghost of a flea [TypeKey Profile Page] at May 17, 2006 12:13 PM

But Kiera was #9

Posted by: beautifulatrocities [TypeKey Profile Page] at May 17, 2006 12:21 PM

True dat. There are Angelina Jolie and Scarlett Johansson to lend weight to my case though Eva Longoria and Jessica Alba are both on the spritely side too. But then I do not see Asia Argento anywhere on the list so how seriously am I meant to take these people?

Posted by: Ghost of a flea [TypeKey Profile Page] at May 17, 2006 12:28 PM

I notice your favourite polled at #60.

Posted by: Ghost of a flea [TypeKey Profile Page] at May 17, 2006 12:29 PM

Europe and Maxim bad. Evil bad. Europe and Maxim obvious indications that Harper won't be able to clean up the process in this minority Parliament. However, Battenberg cake good. Wicked evil good, especially as marzipan icing anywhere perfectly good and, indeed, actually an all purpose product.

Posted by: Alan McLeod [TypeKey Profile Page] at May 17, 2006 01:07 PM

Shakira & I are over. And where's Thalia on that list? They have room for TERI HATCHER but not Thalia??

Posted by: beautifulatrocities [TypeKey Profile Page] at May 17, 2006 01:07 PM

Speaking of top-heavy, your pic of Miss Hilton yesterday implied more top-heaviness to her than I thought she had by a long shot.

Posted by: JohnAnnArbor [TypeKey Profile Page] at May 17, 2006 01:54 PM

I like Battenbergs just fine but would much rather have seen the UK represented by Eccles Cakes.

Posted by: Ghost of a flea [TypeKey Profile Page] at May 17, 2006 01:55 PM

I was impressed by the special-effects work on Paris Hilton's normally unvoluptuous bosom.

Posted by: Ghost of a flea [TypeKey Profile Page] at May 17, 2006 01:57 PM

And I also noticed Teri Hatcher on the list. I am sure she is a lovely person but she looks ill.

Posted by: Ghost of a flea [TypeKey Profile Page] at May 17, 2006 01:59 PM

Alizee is not on the list, either.

Posted by: JohnAnnArbor [TypeKey Profile Page] at May 17, 2006 02:32 PM

Miss Hilton reminded me of the civil engineering works of Brunel and especially his bridges along the Great Western Railway.

Posted by: Alan McLeod [TypeKey Profile Page] at May 18, 2006 09:55 AM