? Semantics | Main | Eye patch ?

December 22, 2003


Are you a giant lizard?

"So, Iím A Giant Lizard": What To Do
If your doctor discovers that you are, in fact, a giant shape-shifting lizard, there are several basic steps to follow.

1. Donít Panic. It is important in moments of stress to remain cool. Since youíre cold-blooded, that shouldnít be a problem. Don't chew your claws: it's not only a bad habit, but you're probably treif.

Posted by Ghost of a flea at December 22, 2003 08:16 AM


If you are not going to panic, not going to go to pieces so fast that others are mown down by the shrapnel, perhaps you should chew on your towel, vice your claws? Yet another reason to never, ever, be without your towel. Or, while traveling in Europe, toilet paper. One thing I'll grant the Euros - they have tougher heinies than we pampered denizens of the western reaches do!

Posted by: Slartibartfast at December 22, 2003 02:36 PM