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July 01, 2003


Canada Day only rolls around once a year. Who could miss the wave of patriotic quasi-enthusiasm for which Canada is noted? This is a perfect opportunity to advocate a pet project. Canadian Flea-readers whose idea of foreign parts are those belonging to our American cousins may not know how Canada is perceived to the four corners of the world. You can all hear the murmers from the good seats: "Peace keepers? Honest brokers?"

Ahem. No.

Canada is boring, people. It is a boring wasteland. Now, you and I may know the truth of our cosmopolitan, sophisticated and exciting northern lifestyle but I can assure you the rest of the world does not. Canada needs to trim-down, shape-up and above all re-brand. Thus, ReCanada. The Flea welcomes suggestions from Flea-readers everywhere toward this Sisyphean effort.

A particularly adorable Flea-reader made the following contribution for the ReToronto end of the campaign. The Tower has to go. We have been waving it at the Americans since the '70s and I am sure by now the good people of Buffalo have either got the message or they never will.

It is also time for ReProvince. The Maritime provinces (plus Newfoundland and Labrador) are a scenic wonder populated by tourism-friendly locals yet we have failed to produce a single H.P. Lovecraft or Stephen King to mythologize the region in crappy horror fiction. We should amalgamate eastern Canada into one super-province of Atlantis and Labrador. Idiots of the world will be stumbling over themselves to spend money in Atlantis. And how about Saskatchewan? The place may be huge and flat but we can generate some buzz for the newly re-branded Sasquatchewan.

Posted by Ghost of a flea at July 1, 2003 11:32 AM


The idea of amalgamating some provinces was actually seriously floated some time ago as part of the prelude to the Charlottetown Accord where it was suggested Canada scale back to five "superprovinces".... but it died a quick death when folks noticed that the Quebecois who drew up the "superprovinces" concept just happened to assign themselves unilingually-english but resource rich Labrador.

As for Atlantic Canada in horror.... there's the Reeves-Stevens' story Outport (in Ark of Ice, reprinted in Northern Stars). Our science fiction life is a hair better (notably John Wyndham's The Chrysalids), but not much.

Posted by: Craig at July 2, 2003 09:25 AM

No, no, no... what Quebec fails to understand is my super-region scheme only flies if it is "Atlantis and Labrador." Besides, hasn't Quebec already ripped off everything they can get for Labrador hydro?

Posted by: Nicholas Packwood at July 4, 2003 10:27 AM