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December 07, 2005

Veni Vidi Victoria

I considered live-blogging the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on CBS last night but decided the event required a more fixed attention.

It's sweeps month again, time to put up your feet, lower your standards, and scrape the bottom of your barrel of shame. Last night, CBS continued its merry reign in the ratings with this year's edition of the oxymoronic Victoria's Secret Fashion Show —oxymoronic, of course, because "fashion" normally implies the presence of some sort of garment or other, and Victoria's Secret has not made its name by displaying how good women look in clothes.

While I confess I might have observed something similar myself it is merely to quibble. And besides, candy bikinis probably count as clothes in a warm climate. While some have lamented the relative lack of protest to this year's installment I am happy to report the spectacle did not disappoint.

The Heidi Klum fembot delivered a note-perfect, if squeaky as ever, performance as Barbie-in-Chief while Mr. Klum, aka 1.5 hit wonder "Seal", was there to lend his support and warble something about not surviving unless we get a little crazy. An excellent context-specific proposition. For example, that crazy Ricky Martin sported a fauxhawk, a daring sartorial maneuvre in mixed-company. But the jiggling capstone of the event was Tyra Banks' final runway appearance for VS
complete with triumphant V sceptre. Her thoughts about her success as a top-model despite her weight were surely an inspiration to us all.

Finally, the Flea-fav moment of the evening: full marks to the model who lost a shoe but kept high-stepping it without breaking stride. A perfect Cinderella as I have no idea who she was.

Urgent Update: This just in... Seal is a 5.5 hit wonder! (hat tip to Bill)

Posted by Ghost of a flea at December 7, 2005 08:27 AM

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Comments

Why you gotta diss Seal like that?

I have to say, I watched 5 minutes on big screen HDTV and couldn't take any more - the beauty of those women started to blind me.

Though - and not to endorse that famous fat-person's rationalization and cliched gripe, but it's true - some of those models are simply too thin. Blindingly gorgeous as all get-out, but a bit too emaciated.

Posted by: Bill from INDC [TypeKey Profile Page] at December 7, 2005 01:05 PM

I assure you I have nothing but respect for the longevity of Mr. Klum's 1.5 hit career.

Posted by: Ghost of a flea [TypeKey Profile Page] at December 7, 2005 02:11 PM

Seal hit the Top 10 with "Crazy,' "Seal (1)" was certified platinum.

Seal hit the Top 10 with "Prayer For The Dying." "Seal (2)" was certified 4xplatinum.

Seal hit the Top 10 with "Kiss From A Rose."

Seal hit the Top 10 with "Don't Cry."

Seal hit the Top 10 with "Fly Like An Eagle."

Seal hit the Top 40 with "Waiting For You."

Seal hit the Top 40 with "Love's Divine."

Nominated for 6 (or so) grammies, over the course ...

So I'd say that makes him about a 6.5 hit wonder, which, when you think about it, isn't half bad.

Or at least more impressive than kylie minogue ...

Posted by: Bill from INDC [TypeKey Profile Page] at December 7, 2005 04:11 PM

(* 5.5 * hit wonder)

Posted by: Bill from INDC [TypeKey Profile Page] at December 7, 2005 04:12 PM

I will give you "Crazy" but "Kiss From A Rose" only counts as .5 of a hit whatever these listwallas might have us believe.

Posted by: Ghost of a flea [TypeKey Profile Page] at December 7, 2005 05:46 PM

Actually, Kiss from a Rose was much bigger than Crazy. I believe it hit #1.

Posted by: Bill from INDC [TypeKey Profile Page] at December 7, 2005 05:51 PM