Ghost of a flea

My name is Wilford Brimley. I have diabetes. I eat Quaker Oats, roofing nails and burning tires for breakfast. I guess that's why I'm immortal. I once beat three horses to death with a rattlesnake in Mexico. I'm the one who really killed Bruce Lee. On the set of "Cocoon," I slept with every woman in the cast. Jessica Tandy told me she had never seen Hume Cronyn cry like that before. I shoot fire from my fingertips. Steven Seagal used to slap women around until I beat him like one. Until the age of 10, I took nourishment directly from the udder of a cow named Brownstone. Remember when I starred in that '80s TV show "Our House" with a young Chad Allen? I'm the reason he's gay now. I swim in the ocean, tear whales apart with my gnarled hands and eat their blubber raw. Frank Sinatra once pulled a gun on me. I took it from him, ate it and then knocked his dick in the dirt. Chuck Norris spends every waking moment in mortal fear of me. I once drank 16 gallons of turpentine, took a piss and then drank 12 more. In short, I'm not to be trifled with.